do you want to change for your lover?

Yes ,I really want to makea change for my lover,but that seems really difficult.I am lazy as you ,and I am also not a good girl,I can't cook ,I can't do housework ,I am also always make him feel angry.I have made up my mind to change myself again and again ,but I am fail again and again. So at last ,he change himself ,he have learnt how to cook (he does housework well),and learn not to be angry when I do someting wrong.

Hi angeliam, emphatically not, and I don't want him to change for me either, or we would just be playing false. I knew mine as a friend for a while before hand and I liked him as he was, and is. He has a bad habit of not liking to speak on the phone much but that's ingrained as associated too much with work, but that's just a habit overdue for a bit of shaking up as he well knows, it doesn't involve actually changing him.

Can't say I agree with most of you here. I say this being a male. If a relationship isn't working, it isn't working. There's no need to degrade the person your with. If your not happy, just end it. Most problems aren't one sided. If you feel the need to tell the person your with that their, "too lazy" or "too fat" or whatever, you obviously have your own set of issues. Long story short: Nothing wrong with minor changes (quitting smoking, cutting your hair, etc.) but when it comes to insulting your partner I just don't understand why anyone would put up with that.

i would change for my lover before,but now i wouldn't,because i always hope become so perfect for my lover,finally i still lost him,because we have a lot of difference on the personalities,so i think perfect match should have a lot in common,don't make a change deliberately?

yeah.........i would like to do any thing for my lover..........;D thank you

We, meaning my bf and me, have had this talk MANY times. There are things that he made me change about myself, but there is TWO big things I asked him to change for me. One, to stop watching naughty sites 24/7 and the second to stop wanting to be around the girl he almost left me for. I feel that If he loves me the way he claims, my feelings should be important. Not only does those girls on those "naughty" sites make me feel small and ugly, but he looks at them and somethings jokes that I should be like them. Then he mentions that girl and wonders how she would be. He claims he wants to marry me, but idk when this is what I go thru.

I've changed in small ways but I don't think I've changed any of the big things about me. I know he has changed for me though.

It depends on what he wants me to change. Normally I wouldn't change things about myself but if a guy tells me I am not considerate enough or whatever I would try to change that. I have tried to be less emotional or sensitive but that is part of who I am. It's a little hard to change.

I would very much like to bring about a positive change in myself. Afterall, if this change is going to cause a good atmosphere, then what harm is there to bring about this change? Afterall, change is permanent. Isn't it? But easier said than doen. Habits are habits. You know, if you remove the '' still the a-bit remains. If you remove the 'a' then only bit remains. If you go on to remove the 'b', then it remains. You know in short habits don't leave us. But le's try it.

there are certain things which change automatically because you in love with someone. It only requires your will power to change your age old habits, I have seen people who are in love getting changed drastically. It is also required to sustain the relationship but at the same time if you change yourself completely then you are losing your identity and you are making a mistake as the other person did not love the changed one but the who was his/her natural. He would be forced to love the changes if they are drastic that it makes you change as an individual

I think there are two extremes of this where you can go to far, and you shouldn't have to change your whole personality for someone. But I do also think compromise is part of a relationship. I am currently working on my management of money, as my spending and my debts affect both of us and our whole lifestyle. This is something I am doing for my husband but also for me, But I feel it will benefit my marriage.

No can't say I want to change, well not now anyway :-). I've been with my now fiance' for almost 9 Years, I had been running into alot of "nothings" before him...sure, we have our disagreements, but we always seem to work it out. Previous to him I felt like I was doing nothing but wasting my time in my relationships...I didn't really stay in the relationships long and didn't really care about working on it...

It's good that you changed by doing housework and making comprimises...but I would have to disagree with your theory that if you change for him, he will change for you. Why would you want to change someone you obviously had an attraction to in the first place?

yes, she's so spoiled sometimes... hehehe

I can change my food habits for my lover. If he is with me I would like to cook the things which both of us like or moreover he likes. I recently responded to a discussion saying, will you change your presonality for your lover. I am sure that I won't change my personality for my lover. I can compromise on small things, but not on big things like personality.

I would do anything for my partner that I love. If you think more about it, some people would say "no I wont this is what I am take it or leave it" or "If you really love me you have to accept for who I am". I find it stupid for an excuse. I can accept who you are, your family, your history and you but if there is anything to change in you that could really help in the relationship then I would likely say it and request it to my partner, the same goes for me too