Alzheimer
By Gabs
@gabs8513 (48686)
United Kingdom
October 8, 2009 8:27am CST
I have heard a lot of this Illness, I have met People with it but never was round them long enough to see how it affects People
A very good Friends Parents have it and I know it is hard work and she looks after them, never complains but I can tell by how she used to say things that is hard work
Well to come to the Point, Gissi and I go to visit a Lady who absolutely adores the little Fellow, she is so happy when she sees him and spoils him a lot lol, well I thought she had Parkinsons but it is not that at all she has Alzheimer
She asked me if I would mind bringing the little Fellow round to her for a visit so Gissi and I went to see her twice, I have to say it breaks my Heart
She remembers Gissi as in the Dog that she loves and makes her laugh, but she always asks his Name and age many time while we are there, in her mind to she is still working but she isn't of course I mean she 77 (even though you would not guess her at the age you would think she is younger, then she realizes that she had given her job up the Day before, which of course is not right either
You would tell her one thing and minutes later she would ask you the same thing again
I always answered her as I know it is the Illness, the second time we went to see her I really felt for her, she told me about her Husband who she loved very much and for the time she was not in my world, she was in the world with her Husband, she told me that he had a Heart attack and just died ,before that he had never been sick in his life, she was heart broken, it seemed as though she was going through it all again, I sat there quiet and let her tell me, I don't think she even realized that we where there, but then she just looked at me and said I miss him, then she asked me again what Gissi's Name was and his age and things she had asked me so many times, I just answered her as I I did the time before, she has a Paddington Bear, which she told me is her Companion, she does talk to him as though he is real and it just breaks my heart
Then she was looking for her Purse and Umbrella last Night so I told her they are on the table as she was going to the shops, she asked me what she was going for, so I told her that she was going for her Supper, she then looked again in her Handbag and I asked what she was looking for, she said her Purse and Umbrella, so I told her again they are on the Table , then she asked me again why was she going to the Shop and I told her , it is so sad
Gissi and I visit her every other night, as she loves Gissi (and he knows it) and she likes the Company, I feel so sorry for her, no I do not show her it, I treat her like she deserves with respect and answer her Questions every time and listen to her every time, she tells me things over and over
It is just so sad, her Daughter lives next door to her but does not see her often as her Daughters Husband does not like her and she has been nasty to her Daughter which I understand is part of the Illness so the Daughter stays away
It is so sad to see People like that it really is
Well Gissi and I will carry on visiting her (even though the little fellow looks at me with glee when I say do not bark and the lady encourages him to have his say lol) as she is lonely and when she sees Gissi her Face lights up
Do you know anyone with this illness ?????
8 people like this
16 responses
@mentalward (14690)
• United States
8 Oct 09
My grandmother had it. The first indication that I had that something was wrong was when she asked my uncle, her son, to call me and tell me that she wanted to see me. This grandmother, whom we called "The General" because she was always bossing people around, was so nasty that I hadn't seen her in years. All of a sudden, she wants to see me?
Well, I went to her house and took my baby son with me. When I got there, she seemed to like my visit but didn't know who I was. She kept asking me who the baby belonged to, over and over. People called my grandmother "Mattie" and my son's name was Matthew. She liked the fact that I called him "Mattie" as well. She wanted me to come back often to see her. Well, she wanted me to bring my baby to see her.
But, it wasn't long before she was put in a nursing home. I did go to visit her there, along with my sister. I am blond and my sister had brown hair. My grandmother had two daughters, one with blond hair and one with brown hair. She thought that my sister and I were her two daughters, our aunts.
Alzheimer's is an awful disease. It can be extremely frustrating for those who have it, especially in the beginning when they can still realize that they keep forgetting things, but it can be overwhelming to their caretakers. Having to repeat things, over and over, while remaining calm is, I would think, almost impossible to do. Also, knowing that this person usually has no concept of time and has memories all out of order, thinking that something that happened 40 years earlier just happened yesterday, getting angry when you try to correct them, would drive me crazy!
Knowing that, since my grandmother had it, I could get it, I'm doing all I can right now to keep my brain active. I've learned what it takes to keep the brain stimulated so it won't be ravaged by Alzheimer's, at least that's the hope.
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
8 Oct 09
It is a bit hard to stay patient but I am a patient Person in most things so I guess it is not to bad, also I only spend an hour with her every other Day, I guess if I was there day in and day out it would be very hard indeed I am glad that you have looked into it and found how to prevent getting it
@LadyMarissa (12148)
• United States
8 Oct 09
When my grandparents were in the nursing home, I spent a lot of time with the Alzheimer patients. Their brain is scrambled & their thoughts jump all over the place. They have little memory of the present; although they have a pretty good grasp on the past. Personally I think they know that their brain isn't thinking properly & they get frustrated. She knows Gissi brings her a lot of happiness, but she can't remember why. It is sad for all the people around them to watch as it happens. However, their brain doesn't allow them to worry about it.
I used to have a client where I worked that had Alzheimer. During September 11, 2001, she was horrified that they blew up the building. 5 minutes later she was calm as could be. She loved watching the news. Every time they showed it, she'd run down the hall screaming the basterds just blew up my home. Then she'd calm back down & was fine until the next time they showed it on the news. It was terrible for her daughter. For her it was an instant of being upset & then her short term memory blocked it out & she'd forget even being upset about it. So, it was much harder for her daughter than is was for her.
An old boyfriend's grandmother had it. She couldn't remember her own children's names. During one of the rare visits by all her children at the same time, she was having a problem knowing who any of them were. The youngest said I was your favorite child. She roared in laughter & said bill chit, you were the biggest pain in the asss I ever squeezed out now what's your name??? She would also turn mean at the drop of a hat, cursing & hitting anybody close to her. She was finally kicked out of the nursing home because she became so mean & violent. So, be careful while you're visiting as she could turn on you in a skinny minute.
The same boyfriend's father developed Alzheimer too. He tried to choke his wife. I lived close to them & he'd show up in front of my house. When I asked him why he was visiting me, he'd say the cows got out & his Mom was going to beat his asss for letting them get out. I'd say I think the cows have gone back to the barn & he'd look around & say yes you're right. & then he'd go back home. If his son showed trying to get him to go back home, he'd beat the crap out of him.
They don't know they have a problem so they have very little stress. It's the caregiver that takes on ALL the stress. I could go on & on, but I hope this might help a little.
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
8 Oct 09
Thank you Lady M
I had heard that they can turn and I will of course take care
We normally stay about an hour or less but this is just so sad and to forget things about their Children to
It is so awful and yes more the People close to them
Thanks Lady M for this
@Lakota12 (42600)
• United States
8 Oct 09
Well as ya know my mom has short term memory but think she is loosing more I always wonder now if she knows who she is talkin gtoo at the time.
adn she isnt answering the questions my brother and wife puts to her right getting worse at thiat I think as brother only tellas me that.
not sure either that she stays awake long enough to talk about daddy months ago she told me that she still missed him but hasnt said anything about him in a long time.
1 person likes this
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
12 Oct 09
My Mum had it and now my Dad is in the early stages but it hasn't progressed as quickly as Mum's did or most others for that matter. My friends Mum has it too but hers is different in that she knows that she forgets things. Mum didn't realise she had asked the questions or forgotten things. Dad is the same. It is a very sad thing. My friends younger brother won't see his Mum as he can't handle her being like this. He is a selfish b@st@rd.
@byfaithonly (10698)
• United States
9 Oct 09
I worked at a nursing home where there were several I cared for that suffered from Alzheimer. One lady I loved dearly every day when I came into work she would tell me a joke. Through the day she would tell me the same joke a dozen times. The next day I would come in and she'd tell me a totally different joke but the same one a dozen times that day. That women must have known a million jokes but only one per day :)
When I worked at the adult foster care home there was a man there who among other mental disorders also had Alzheimers. He couldn't remember his own son's name but knew his son had taken all his money when the son came to visit he would hide his wallet even though he wasn't allowed to have any money in the home.
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
9 Oct 09
It is so sad but I have to say I had to smile about the Woman I can just imagine her telling a Joke and repeating it all Day but isn't it strange that the next Day she always had a different one it is strange how this Illness works really strange like the Man knowing what his son is doing but can't remember his Name it is all so strange but really sad
@byfaithonly (10698)
• United States
9 Oct 09
Dear to me that lady was a blessing - every day I worked there she made me laugh so don't feel bad about laughing now.
1 person likes this
@kkanaka (886)
• Singapore
12 Oct 09
My grandfather had it, he only used to recognise my grandmother, anybody else will come to visit him... even my father (who is his son) he wont recognise him, he will often go out of the house and get lost, it was a very difficult task for my grandmother, I was just a kid and couldnt understand it very much at that time... but now I know about the disease and can relate to it...
I saw a movie where a 29 year old woman has this disease and its very very sad.... she almost kills her son....
Its really very very sad if your near ones have this disease, because they look abosolutely normal at times and act weirdly at other times.....
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
8 Oct 09
Gabs you are so wonderful a person to share time with this lady. It saddens me when I have to leave a client who has this dreadful disease. They always want me to stay longer because they enjoy the time you spend with them. Yes, they can say and do mean things to those they love. It can be a part of their ailment. But, those that truly love them should disregard this and still go to see them. There comes a time when there is no turning back the hands of time. The person they love will one day not be there any longer. They should spend time with them even if it is a short time. Focus on the good times and forget the bad. Be there.
Blessings and big huggers to you and Gissi.
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
8 Oct 09
I agree with this Elusive
I have the time to spend with her and it makes her Happy
I always used to see her go to the shop and she would always stop and fuss and stroke Gissi
But she always had to ask his Name, it is strange that she can remember and connect Gissi but she can not remember his Name, she knows she loves him, as she always tells him that, she also connects me with Gissi and when she sees me walk past she will come out and fuss the little Fellow, she will say to him, I saw your Mum walk past so I knew you would be with her
I am just glad that I can give her that bit of happiness and joy
Big Hugs to you to from us both
@GardenGerty (160626)
• United States
9 Oct 09
I have worked in nursing homes and have experienced this first hand with friends. I would describe you and Gissi as a therapy dog and companion for this lady. You could have had a career in the field. You do very well. Bless your heart.
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
9 Oct 09
GG thank you I just do what I know will maybe help her along a bit and brighten her Day for at least an hour
I am so surprised at Gissi though, he is showing me more and more what a smart little Man he is, he seems to sense that she is not to well when we first go in he makes a fuss of her like she does of him and then he gets his little antics going which always make her laugh and she always says he is such a little Child full of Mischief lol, tell me about it lol
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
8 Oct 09
Yes.... I have known several with this illness.....okay so I am not a brain surgeon...but with everyone I know that has suffered from it there is one connection.....extreme stress.....like you friend losing her husband suddenly...it's like a short circut...and so sad as they change from being who they are to someone no one knows.....it's so wonderful you spend your time with her.....Even if she doesn't remember.
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
8 Oct 09
Jill when I saw her every time she saw Gissi how much she always fussed him and how he made her smile with his little Personality I could not refuse when she asked if I would mind visiting her with Gissi
It is the least I can do to help her a little Bit and to sit and chat with her
@dloveli (4366)
• United States
9 Oct 09
I hate to admit it but my grandmother has alzheimer's disease. She went from an independent woman, living on her own, going out all the time, taking day trips, and most importantly getting her hair done every Tues never fail. Now she doesnt do anything except get really nervous, cry alot and complain.She was and is the best grandma anyone could ever have. A few years back she began to act strangely. She began to forget things and it became a problem. Now she doesnt even remember my name or the names of her children. My mother is now the primary care giver. Its hard she stated right from the beginning that she would NEVER put her mother into a nursing home of any type. My mom is really tired now. I feel so bad that she has to watch her mother deteriorate into nothing. I pray to heavens that I never EVER have to go thru that in my life! dl
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
9 Oct 09
I am so sorry to read this and I feel for you
This Lady is not related to me, she lives in the Village and it is hard for me to see a Person go through this
I can not even imagine how it is for a relative, I hope your Mum will try to rest a bit, I do not admire her for taking such good Care of her Mum that is wonderful
@Annmac (949)
•
9 Oct 09
This has got to be one of the most frustrating and heartbreaking illnesses. I see it a lot in the early stages, as I'm a community care-worker. There comes a time when the best place for these people is in a nursing home, they need supervision as they can get very confused and can become a danger to themselves.
It sounds like this woman's daughter needs help! She should have professional help going in to make sure she's eating and isn't a danger to herself.
It's heart-breaking for her daughter, she probably feels she should be able to look after her Mum and she probably understands that her Mum is being nasty because of the illness but it's very hard to bear when you are the target and all you are trying to do is help. Sadly sometimes that isn't enough and I must admit I feel worried that the lady is left alone a lot.
It's kind of you to visit, and to talk to her 'normally' and I'm sure Gissi is doing a lot more good than you even realise. Bless you both!
An animals company is very soothing for people and as it would be impracticable for her to have one those short visits are probably a blessing. I've always found that my 'patients' love a visit from my dog and my dog seems to know how to behave around them without guidance or even any training from me.
1 person likes this
@taface412 (3175)
• United States
9 Oct 09
I work in a long term care facility for people who have this type and other types of dementia and it is very sad. This disease is horrible, it robs you of everything you take for granted now...memories especially. It always tears my heart out when I hear a grown woman or man crying for their mother or asking where their parents are.
I learned a long time ago the only appropriate time to tell a white lie in life is to people like this.
1 person likes this
@mcelhenney (481)
• United States
9 Oct 09
Hi,Gabs,
My mother has alzheimer's..She is in an assisted living home..My mother nolonger knows who I am or the rest of the family..She too tells the same things and asks the same things over and over..I am disabled and I do not get to see her but a few times a year when someone will take me to see her..I listen to her and answer her questions over and over..She does not know where she is now..It is so sad to have to see your parent like this..It is a terrible disease..I could never be nasty to my mother or anyone else who is suffering from this horrible disease..She deserves all the love and respect that we can give her..I wish I lived closer to her so I could see her more often..God bless you for being such a good friend to this lady..
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
9 Oct 09
Oh that is so sad for you that you can't see her much and it must be so hard on you to
I would never want to experience what these poor People go through, I can not imagine not remembering my Children or Friends
I remember 4 years ago when my Son rushed me to Hospital because I was not able to breathe, due to my Illness, my Son got upset and scared because he said that I didn't even know who he was for the first 20 minutes that really scared him he was 21 then and I have to say that upset me, more to the fact that the poor lad thought his Mum did not know who he was, I do not remember as I was in a bad way at the time
So I can see it must be so hard on you and others, specially when it is someone as close as your Mum
You take it easy
@silver245 (64)
• United States
9 Oct 09
Hi gabs. It's wonderful that you and Gissi visit this lady! I'm sure it makes her very happy, even if she doesn't remember it later. My Grandmother had Alzheimers, and it was very sad to see how she changed. When she first started showing signs of it I was living out of state, so I wasn't around her much, but my Mom told me some of the things she was doing that seemed strange. By the time I moved back here a few years later there was no doubt what her problem was. She would ask the same questions over & over, had trouble dressing herself, and other problems. For awhile they had a lady come to the house every day to help her with things, but when she got worse the family decided she should be in a nursing home. It was a hard decision, but she really did get the best care there. She passed away 12 years ago, and I still miss her, but I feel that she had a great life until she got ill, and maybe she's somewhere better. :)
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
9 Oct 09
Hello Silver and welcome to Mylot
That is really sad and for Families to watch it and see it all happening has to be so hard and painful
I am sure that she is somewhere better now and of course she will not be suffering this horrible Illness anymore either
@Bluepatch (2476)
• Trinidad And Tobago
8 Oct 09
This is a disease which results in the degeneration of the mind.
The well known case I can bring to mind is that of a priest who was instrumental in founding social care in my country of Trinidad.
Its hardly been in my family but there are a lot of stories of it around the place here in Port of Spain.
1 person likes this
@savypat (20216)
• United States
8 Oct 09
This illness is so sad, it destroys the brain way before the rest of the body there are ways to slow it down that sometimes work, social contract is one of those so it is very important that you visit her as often as you can. Blessings
