Putting conditions on discussions

There are enough Guidelines already here without others putting up conditions on their discussions too. I find them off-putting unless they are users that I already know well enough to realise that they do so as part of their way of Lotting. Nowhere does it say that only certain users should answer certain topics. I go where my fancy takes me and I feel I am responsable in what I say and to shomw I say it. I feel that my closest friends know that I sometimes land and make my presence felt in one way or another but never do I purposely offend. I would not leave a response on a discussion by a user that I did not recognise if there were already certain rules laid down in the topic [i] Hey over a year ago you said you would send me your ref link to that bridge [/i]

Do you seriously want serious responses Dawn? Bugger. OK. I don't like exclusivity in discussions at all. I might never have had a monthly period, but that doesn't mean that I cannot empathise or have a view. That said, it depends on the poster and what they post. If it is you, I'd wade in knowing that you'll cut me off at the knees if I overstep the mark. But if it is someone that I've never responded to before, and the subject is one that I might normally be flippant about; I'd do my best to be sensitive or pass on by. OK. Serious enough. Can I go back to blowing gum bubbles again now?

I used to put conditions on my posts. I can't say I won't do it again, but I do try to be more fun now. It's the best way to be, ya know? I think that people should be respectful of conditions unless ofcourse they know the friend wouldn't mind a joke / needed a joke. SOmetimes there are people who will joke on a serious discussion but it won't phase the discussion starter because of who it is who joked.

I do often wonder if people even read discussions before replying, so I can understand people putting conditions. My own are never interesting enough to warrant it, unfortunately. Plus, I'm never sure if it would violate guidelines. I did once post a discussion where I needed input from people about hair straighteners they used - it was for an article I was writing - but that's as near as I ever got. The condition I'm putting on this post is: You've all got to tick the plus botton, you hear me?!

Hi dawn So where is that brige at that you have for sell. Im interested in it...LOL.. Okay to the serious side of things. I don't put any conditions on my discussion. If it a sad discussion sometimes throwing in a little laughter helps. I have not to the best of my knowledge been hateful to anyone. That is not the type of person that I am..I would respect any ones wishes on their discussion. great discussion..

I suppose it depends upon what is requested, the situation, and the language used -- whether it's politely requested or demanded makes a heck of a lot of difference to me. Mostly I believe 1, you put it out there in a VERY public arena. To expect rigid adherence to your demands isn't exactly practical. 2, If you didn't want it discussed by certain types, i.e., you're conservative, and you don't want ANY liberal input, then there are certainly other sites that cater to those with the same political ideas where you can go back-patting; the same goes for those with very religious discussions. Basically, if it's not discussion of the issue you've put up, then don't put it up for discussion. On the example you've given, while on the one hand I understand that knowing someone more intimately would give you more insight and allow you more leeway, others may see your comment and think it's alright to make light of this discussion with the person who's put up the discussion. But since I've recently had the pleasure of reading your comments and can immediately see that you are one to take to humor often and without malice (that I can see, anyway), personally if I had a serious discussion and you replied with humor, I wouldn't be offended -- but that's just me. Of course, you're talking to an amputee (3/4 of my right leg is gone) along with whose friends make jokes of going to half-off shoe sales just to mess with the sales person, changing my name to Eileen (or Irene, if in Japan) -- you get the picture :D. I don't put qualifiers on my discussions. If someone's rude, I'll call them on it, but that's about it.

A good point to make for discussion; good for you! There are times when a condition to a topic of discussion is needed and there are times that no condition is necessary. If there is a condition then of course we should respect that. If the writer as nothing to say in that paticular discussion then no comment on it. Simply by pass it so that discussion can go in the direction the writer intends for it to go. A lot of myLotter's don't take myLot seriously and that is to bad. There is a tremendous amount of conversations started that we can be free spirited with so why not discipline our selves to some self control on other discussions. They give us opportunity to use our brains and seriously think about what we want to say and if not we can move on and leave it alone. My biggest beef with some comments in a discussion is that they leave an answer that as nothing to do with the discussion. It appears they have not read the discussion to know how to properly answer it so their answer is on a completely different topic. Strange!Have you had that experience?

I don't put conditions to my discussions but if I ever see anyone with that kind of condition, I would respect the wish of the person starting it. Anyway, it's her or his discussion. But if the wishes are too ridiculous, I might be put off to answer anyway. And I don't like to argue; not in my bones, lol.

I have only had that problem once or twice, I tend to go the other way and take seriously what is intended to be in fun. About restricting discussions, I think that may be a little naive, this is all open to the membership and one or two rude comments is to be expected I think, I'm not saying this is right I'm just saying it's going to happen.

There was one discussion I made that I pleaded that only people with that experience or some sort of words of wisdom reply, but still got a few of the "I don't know, never happened to me." answers. I guess I am saying, that the one you that you mentioned, where a person argued on the condition, at least you knew they actually read it, maybe even thought about it. It seems like there are quite a few that don't read beyond the subject. If even that. There are always a small few who like to argue, and there are some that just have no tact at all.I think my instincts serve me alright at times, though the moment you are not walking the center, you are fair game, in my experience.

In my case; I don't put any precondition on anything in a comments, repsonse or a discussion because this will compensate the person to participate on it...If I noted that someone will be disrespectful to others or with me. I will always be polite to make the discussion a sort of interesting conversation...Have a nice day!

Hi dawnald, I've been known to stick a couple of disclaimers up in the pe section which is meant to be satirical. Some people might take offence for goodness sake at poking a bit of fun at politicians or mad dictators and I don't want the political brigade to come in taking it all so seriously and reducing it all to rants and negative ratings. Just try and keep it all friendly and if you can't bare to make fun of something then another interest is more up the alley, as it were.

I found that it just depends on the topic and what people comment on. I also find that the ones who leave the sleazy comments are usually those that are the bots and they are just here to create a havack. I also think that if some one was doing research that might be a reason why they are putting a condition. For example if someone was wanting why women act the way they do on the period then you would only want women answering because a man would not give you an honest answer just there opininon about why they act that way when really only women know why they act the way do on the period. It was just an example. i do think that putting conditions can create problems because you want the best responses but sometimes the best response may be the one that only has one sentance in it and to deprive someone of there opinion based on the fact that you want great responses i think is not fair and is not what myLot wants in its discussion areas. After we are all here to give our opinion.

Hello my friend I would respect the poster, they know what they are looking for when the discussion was posted they have every right to do this, I had a friend yesterday that posted something pertaining to a relationship, I am not in a relationship but asked can I share my feelings about my daughter when she does certain things to work my nerves, the friend responded I would hope she didn't feel disrespected, I don't think it was clear that she only wanted people in relationships to respond but it was a relationship discussion. Great question Thank you.

How much is that bridge??? Usually I will try to stick with the topic. If it's something that does have a "condition" I will usually tell the person if I'm violating that up front.

Well, I'm clearly too late for the bridge sale... *grin*... but no, I would never put any kind of "conditions" on a discussion that I start. I think that totally defeats the purpose of an online community and it's really not our job to decide ahead of time how people are "allowed" to participate. Everyone here has an opinion and they are welcome to it. It might not be popular. It might not be in line with what the originator of the discussion wants to hear... but, as long as they share it respectfully, then have at it! I don't look at discussions as something we own... they're something we share. Anyone should be welcome to jump in anywhere they like - respond, comment, whatever :) It keeps the conversation flowing and that's to everyone's benefit ultimately. If someone trounces all over the guidelines, there's a system in place to take 'em out. Otherwise, I'm just happy if I start a discussion that's actually of interest to other people and they're inclined to pursue it

Well, I really don't like the "pre-conditions" as you call them. I think by directing at a specific group of ppl, it alienates other ppl. Common sense would say that if your discussing say, monthly periods, men probably wouldn't respond b/c they don't know much about it...the same could be said about women and erectile dysfunction. As for being polite, keeping to the topic and reading the topic...again that's common sense. If you get someone who leaves a nasty remark, it's simple enough to contact MyLot and ask them to delete it. For a long time now I've seen different members wanting to, I guess you'd say, control others...how they post, when they post, commenting, siggy's, you name it...these pre-conditions seem to be just another way of controlling who responds and how. Personally, I don't do pre-conditions...if I see a topic and want to respond, I do... [b]~~AT PEACE WITHIN~~ **STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS**[/b]

I don't think u should start a discussion on anything & put a pre-condition on it. If u can't handle the answers then why start it.

Dawn, I think it all comes down to being respectful and sensitive enough to follow the persons request. Remember, you have the choice to answer or not. I'm afraid we have some very immature people here that use our site to disrupt destroy someones discussions. For me, I think putting conditions that seem unnecessary on a discussion is a waste of time. There are exceptions of course. Leenie

Unfortunately in a public forum you are going to get all kinds of people with all kinds of personalities and some will be more mature than others. Showing repspect requires proper upbringing and these days there just isn't enough of that going around.