If you are invited to a meal........
@3SnuggleBunnies (16374)
United States
October 8, 2009 2:07pm CST
is it proper to show up with a gift for the host/hostess? Or do you just bring your appetite and a thank you? Or a gift if it's a Birthday party?I was thinking about this when I was watching Seinfeld last night there was that episode where they stopped @ a bakery to get a cake or bobka (sp?) & Kramer + the bald guy went to a store to get some wine because they couldn't go to this dinner party empty handed. I was thinking I usually don't bring anything beyond the family & our appetites unless it's a pot luck or dish to pass sort of meal where they request something. How bout you?
3 people like this
11 responses
@vivasuzi (4127)
• United States
13 Oct 09
Generally if I'm invited to a casual get together or dinner, I'll ask if I can bring something. If the host said that they were all set, I'd most likely NOT bring anything. Sometimes I'd show up with candy or something small like that, but I don't consider it a gift "for the host" but more a gift for everyone at the party, including me. I wouldn't want to just say "here's some candy" and have them stash it away for themselves. I'd put it out for everyone :)
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
11 Oct 09
For us it really depends on the situation. If we are invited to eat dinner with a member of our family, then I never take anything with us unless we are specifically asked to bring this that or the other. However, when I am going to eat with a friend, I will bring some kind of something with me. Usually I'll take a sweet dessert of some kind, but I'll take other if they've requested that of me. This for me is just a way that I show my thankfulness to the hostess for feeding us. I mean, the food isn't free for them and therefore I don't really think it should be free for us.
@dragon54u (31634)
• United States
9 Oct 09
I don't think hostess gifts are mandatory or expected much these days. But I do like to bring a little something when I can.
Hostess gifts are a nice custom and it's a shame to see it go the way of housewarmings and other nice customs.
@malpoa (1214)
• India
9 Oct 09
Yes we do not go to a dinner party empty handed. there has to be something, not necessarily expensive but atleast a large bottle of coke will do. WE mostly take sweets (in bengal, people are very inclined to sweets made of milk and they have it practically for every occassion, on every day)
If it is a large gathering, the gift has to be bigger. Like for a birthday party, we do take gifts. More expensive ones for weddings, actually, the closer the host, the expensive the gift.
@moneymakingtoday (4061)
• Philippines
9 Oct 09
i either bring a gift (especially if someone is celebrating his birthday) or something to eat (usually for dessert). for weddings, it is always proper to bring a gift for the newly-weds and everyone is expected to do that. for family reunions, we are expected to contribute or bring our share as "pot luck".
@cathrineyuan (26)
• China
9 Oct 09
I quite agree with you.But you know,we lead our life in such society,it is eviteable to escape it.What to do is do such things little and it will become more and more clearly.
@ElicBxn (63594)
• United States
9 Oct 09
It kind of depends on what things are in your circle of friends.
If you are part of a group that take turns hosting dinner parties, then gifts aren't expected, you are expected to host one, soon
I know my parents did this, they'd be invited to a friend's place for dinner and maybe bridge (a card game for those who might not know), and the next time it'd be at our house...
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
8 Oct 09
We're the same way. We don't usually go to any meal unless it's family or friends... We don't bring anything unless requested unless it's a birthday party, anniversary party, or something of the sort.
@sridharsahu (544)
• India
8 Oct 09
Whenever i am invited for a meal i usually take some flowers or gift according to the situation, it depends.I do not like to go empty hands in my friends house.
@artistry (4151)
• United States
9 Oct 09
...Hi 3SnuggleBunnies, I seem to remember, if it is a formal dinner you might be expected to bring some kind of gift. If a birthday party, or anniversary, a gift would certainly be expected. But an informal get together dinner, I think a gift would be a matter of choice and not expected. I am not sure if there are rules of etiquette regarding this, but I would be interested in knowing what's proper or not. Interesting question. Do take care.
