Friends who borrow things and don't give them back

that is just too bad. i have a friend who keeps borrowing money but then when i am already in need of the money and ask him for it, he just wouldnt stop recalling the days when i needed him most and etc.. thats just the same with borrowing something and not returning it. and the consequence, friendship is broken because of those things.

Hello themdno. I am so sorry that you have got such an irresponsible friend that is trying to avoid you because of the stuff that he has borrowed from you. I think that it is not right of him to do so. I used to have a colleague who borrowed a cd from me without giving it back to me, but as she used to help me a lot with the typing job, I just forgot it without asking for it back...

Hi there themdno! I think that this happens to most, if not all, of us at least once in our lifetime. I do allow my friends to borrow some things from me. Of course, I remind them that they have to give it back. However, there are times when they forget and I have to remind them again. For as long as they give it back in good condition, that's fine with me. But there were also times in the past when they would borrow something and not give it back purposely. I hate it when that happens. Just like your experience, they would not even answer calls or return my messages. If it is not that important, fine, I will let it pass. But if that things is important to me, I will have to go out of my way to get it back. No matter what.

Hi themdno That was exactly what happened to me when I was in elementary. I think that's childish! What stuff is it, if I'm allowed to know? Hmm, if it's fairly expensive, just come to his home and bring your stuff back. Nice to hear you will see hime around family functions.. just say "Bring back my xx (name of your stuff)". I won't think to be too polite to the person like that, just say it directly to the point and after you know what kind of people is he, it's better if you think twice before borrow him another stuff.. As far as I know, that kind of people really hard to be changed!

...Hi themdno, You have asked for you stuff back, you have told him you would come over to get it. It appears he has no intention of returning your property. In other words, go away and make him a gift of your property, is what he wants. He is a user and abuser, forgive me for talking about your "friend" (not), but he is not a nice person. So my plan would be to get the biggest male friend you have, and march over to his house, unannounced and demand your property.I would not go alone because he will not give it to you, you will have to intimidate him, because right now he thinks of whatever it is, as belonging to him. What is that saying possession is 9/10's of the law. So that is my suggestion, I would hope that he gives it back soon, but I would not hold my breath. I think you should block your telephone number, and call to make sure he is home, before you go over there, Good luck

I have ex-friends who have done that. I say ex friends not because I fell out with them for keeping my stuff, but because we eventually lost touch which makes me think we were never really very good friends at all! Most of the stuff I've lost are things like videos and CDs. I did lend a video my Brother had bought me for my birthday when he was really young and still at school so he would have saved his pocket money to buy it. I watched it once, and lent it, expecting to fully get it back a few days later after he (my "friend") had watched it but I never got it back even after reminding him many times. I've not heard from him in years now and I don't even know how to contact him. Losing the video my Brother bought me still upsets me now to be honest, and I'm a fully grown adult. That video would be worth more to me than something I'd spent a lot of money on myself.

I will talk to that person still in a nice way on retrieving what he had borrowed to me. Of course he will say the reason why he did not return it, but reason is enough, I need to see and I need to have that thing that borrowed from me. This is traumatic scene for me. I am always a victim of this. It is hard for me to loan something even for my friend because either them failed to return it to me. I don't trust people easily.

You should think before lending stuff to your friends.I would have gone to his parents and told them about the situation if he did not give my stuff back.I know you must be tired trying to ask him to give your stuff back.Try to get the stuff back through one his best friends.Once it happened with me,i gave one of a game cd to my friend and he was not giving it back,then i went through my best friend and he took the responsibility of getting the cd back for me.

You do not need this person's permission to retrieve your property. If you have the means to go and get it then do so. Yes, it is more polite to call first than to show up at someone's door but in this instance you can make an exception. Go over at a time he is mostly likely to be hime such as first thing in the morning and ask for your property. Make it clear that you want it back and there is no negotiating on the subject.

I hope that some people have great suggetions for you. My brother in law did the same thing to us. He has a few of our favorite movies and just won't make the effort to get them back to us. We even said he could just leave him with his dad since we both see him more often than we see each other...he "forgot" them. I don't know why it's so hard for people to return what isn't theirs. It should just be common courtesy.

I would let it go at this point. But then, that's what I would do. The question is, how much is it worth to you? If he a family friend? Someone that's in your family? Because if he is, you might consider leveraging your family to put pressure on him to return it. Is he someone you must deal with routinely? Because if he is, doing this, or otherwise demanding he return your stuff, might end whatever friendship you have with him. How much was this thing worth exactly? Was it irreplaceable, or could you get another one, it's just expensive? If it's just expensive, you might skip it because the trouble of returning the object, would be difficult, and cause tension at future functions where you see him. If it's irreplaceable, you could bug him constantly, bring the family into it, even find a lawyer who would simply send him a letter of return, requesting the item be returned. If you know a lawyer, and I do, simply seeing certified letter from an attorney can scare the (****) out of people. Here's the bottom line. The fact he has refused to answer your calls, and is avoiding you, tells me that he either lost the item, sold the item, or broke the item. If you push hard enough, the truth will come out at some point, but there will be a cost. Namely the end of the relationship. So is the item more valuable to you than the relationship? Then you'll have to do whatever you have to do to get it back. If not, then best to let it go. It's sad that this has gone this far, but you might want to follow my general rule from now on. The rule is this: Never lend out something that you wouldn't let them keep. Why? Because of this situation right here. I've lent out books tools and such to people, who never returned them. But I always knew before hand that if they didn't return it, I was ok with it. If there was something that I absolutely didn't want to lose, I didn't lend it.

That is frustrating and annoying! I have been in this situation before and have had to abandon these so called friends as it became obvious that they were just using me. They did not deserve my friendship, so I stopped having anything to do with them!

after i read it, i cant help saying that he's so stupid. to lose a good friend cause sth stuff? which one is more important? he doesnt know? but i dont know what the stuff is. if only a common expensive thing, then i'll give up it, and also give up the friendship with him. but if sth too special, maybe i'll think other ways to get it back, even the bring a case.

I would ask my friend to bring along the item to the family function. If he choses not to come with it or not attend the function all together, I will be sure that he won't return it. I would forget about the item and move on. Next time I would think twice before I lend any thing valuable.

That sort of thing used to happen to me alot. I quit loaning things to people, and I quit the people that wouldn't return the property or make it right. If I had to deal with this person for a family function, I would simply ask if they got what they wanted and do they feel better about it. I might make that public to a few people. Then I would never have anything else to do with it or that person again. It's obviouse, they don't care or they would make it right with you.

I would most likely say "Be honest with me, Did something happen to it or do you just want to borrow it for a little longer?" I'd probably listen for any gasp or something like that after I said "Did something happen to it?" I don't know that I'd let the person borrow it for longer, but if I didn't I would go over to their house post haste to retrieve it. I wouldn't let them know though, so they couldn't make any excuses. If it's something expensive and / or valuable I am going to be very protective and worried over it until it's in my possession again. I know in school I'd hear "why are you freaking out?" a lot when I'd ask "are you done with this yet?" lol.

I'd say that he's a thief, not a friend.

If that something he borrowed is really important to me, I'll do ways just to get it back. I'll confront him or go to his place for him to return it to me. I'll also talk to him and ask him why he is not returning it to me. I'll explain to him how important that to me.

Unfortunately you will have to keep asking your friend until you either get the item or you decide to let it go. It is obvious that the friend has no intention of returning your item to you. Why people do this, i don't know but it is very common. That's the problem I have when I loan certain people money. I never see the money again and if I keep asking abotu it, they usually avoid me altogether. Now I don't loan money as much, even though I like helping people because ultimately it hurts me. I also don't like people who borrow your things and either break them or damage them in some way and won't take responsibility for repair or replacement of the item.

If the thing borrowed from me is very important to me and my friend would not like to return it to me, I will get it from him with the help of the police. I hate that kind of friend who is taking advantage of his friend's kindness.