How to help her,a very sensitive friend of mine?

Hi kicksexpress, I think the best way to get someone who is shy to open up is to give them time. I am a really shy person myself. Seriously if you tried to talk to me in reality you would think you were chatting to a brick wall, or a battering ram depending on what you were talking about! When someone says something I don't like I tend to get really angry really quickly, and can be hurt easily too. I rarely ever confide in anyone in reality and have made do with a friendship forged online for that side of things. The people I connect best with though, and the ones I would be more likely to open up to, are those who are really almost the opposite to me. The best example is my brother. He is a really kind soul, and he knows what I am like so will just rant about anything (mostly movies). It bores me to tears in all honesty, but he has the easy way about him which means that I don't mind and just like being around him, and then if he is being a little silly, or wonders onto a topic I like then I enjoy joking with him and visible transform. Other than that if someone confides in me I will gradually grow closer to doing so with them, but in reality I find it hard, like trying to battle through a wall of paranoia. I am not sure if you friend has the Internet and e-mail, but if she does I would be tempted to ask you to try and talk with her that way. When it comes to myself I am way more open via e-mails because they are less judgemental and so I become almost a completely different person! Away from that, learning what hurts her is also very helpful. These days if someone says something that upsets me I tell them to try and ensure they won't do it again. This is really important in my case because I get offended by things that normally would offend people, so if I don't tell them they would go on offending me without realising it. Maybe if you asked her, or gave examples from your past she would respond with an explanation of her pain. Just give her time though. Trusting you is something she has to do by herself. It might be slow but at some stage I think she will have a eureka moment and might just change before your eyes. Don't force her to be more than she wants to be, and don't worry about her. One thing I hate above all other things is people thinking I am miserable and trying to change me. Very often people come across someone like me, who likes to be alone and is really quiet, and they take pity on us and want to change our lives, thinking they will make it better. Don't do that as you will only make her resentful and drive her away. Just let her live her life, respect her wishes, and if she wants to change in the future let her know you will support her through the struggles. It won't be easy for her, or for you, but I wish you all the best. Don't give up on her though, you may mean a lot to her even if she can't say it to you I hope this was in some way helpful. I don't know your friend so answered from my own experiences, but maybe some of it can be used All the best, Dranz

I am trying to help out someone who is shy as well. I gained loads of progression by telling I like her as a person and want to know more about her. As soon as I started asking very personal questions and showed that I am reliable she began to bloom ( does that sound right in English? I got no clue lol) and started to make jokes, even to others. Hope that helps. :)

You can take her to an orphange or a creche and let her play with the children. Getting in touch with the ones smaller and weaker than her can make her more self-confident. Besides, it's important that you don't force her to confess anything while she's still not ready to tell her problems. Imagine, how can she believe in you if she can't even believe in herself.

Don't be a talker be an asker. Ask her a million questions. Let her talk and you listen. Also know that she might have some self esteem issues so alway be positive and kind. I find once you get close to shy people, they open up quite nicely.