Talking to the Ex

In my experience and my opinion the worse thing for a man and a woman in a relationship/for their relationship is have contact with their Ex's. There are never good intentions there regardless of yours or theirs. Me and my fiance activly cut all ties with ex's. It was done we have no desire to continue speaking with the persons that we no longer chose to be with. Them being in your relationship (yes even simply just talking with them makes them part of your relationship) can cause some insecurites as you can see. What bothers me the most is that your insisting not to respect your mans feelings. When you keep ex's around you are keeping that bridge open so incase your relationship with your current doesn't work out than you have something to fall back on. With that being said you are not giving yourself fully to your current mate (whether you realize it or not your holding back and he knows it). Its very intimitating to a mate knowing that in a split second that you were to break up you have someone already in the wing waiting for you. Though you claim it is harmless for the most part it most likely is. But really be honest with yourself first and formost as to why your insisting on keeping your friendship going with these ex's. They were ex's for a reason........ if your relationship/friendship was that good with them you would have never broken up with them in the first place but yet they are still lingering around. ??? I would be insulted if I expressed to you that I was not comfortable with you still talking with your ex's and you insisted on doing so and insisted I was being the weird one for being uncomfortable. As my mate and potential long term mate...I would expect that you respect my feelings and cut all ties. But then you would have to determine what is more important in your life the man that you love or the ex boyfriends that you once had. Again, I think being honest with yourself is going to be the key thing in this. :-D To answer your question. Yes you are with a man you need to cut all ties with ex's. If you are single...... than you keep your ex's around. Far as the reason you broke up with them or visa versa..... obviously it boils down to you were not compatible with each other to create a relationship. But you can still consider a person a friend and not talk to them. I do...I am friends with some of my ex's...I just don't talk to them any more..but I consider them friends so if me and my honey where to run into them at a store, a mall or a restuarant there are no hard feelings and it would be nothing to give them a warm welcome while introducing them to my fiance :-D but that is as far as it goes.

Isn't life grand!? Congratulations and may you both continue to grow. There is even a better way to strengthen that tie and that is to perhaps seek a church to attend and let the Lord come into your lives and that will also help cement the bond you currently have. God should always be first in both of your lives.

Its not bad having your ex's as friends after eerthign happend to both of you. As long as you both feel comfortable with it , then go! i also stay frieds with most of my ex's but there are few that i cant handle even a hi. As long as your friendship with you ex does not effect you represent relationship there is nothing wrong with it.

personally I think you should break all ties with exs..that's the reason they are your ex. If it was meant to be they would have stayed in your future. I think that it's more out of respect for your spouse that you stop talking to them. I mean if you don't respect that and understand his feelings and concern for the problem it will never end and will always exist because you still have relationships with them(ur exs). just my input, but I do agree with some of the other posters with some of the opinions that they've stated.

Hi Laur: I don't think you must cut completely with your ex-bf's but at the same time you both have to be mature to understand the complexity of a relationship in those terms, i mean just friends. If there are no reasons to hate him why would you stop talking to him. In my opinion you can do it but i don't understand if your last bf want to do it.

you know i also have still communications with some of my ex's, there is nothing wrong with that as long as you know your limitations in dealing with that friendship. why should you cut the ties if you know that your relationship is just pure friendship and nothing more intimate is going on between you. you know what those ex's taught us how to be strong as a woman in dealing heartaches and pains. we owe to these guys how we mature as a person in terms of dealing with relationship. past is past. if you can't be friends with your ex's it means you didn't move on yet, there is still anger in your hearts. so, what you are doing right now is just fine, don't care what your sister is telling you.

No if you are able to get on as Friends then that is good, why break a Friendship if it has all been on good Terms I got divorced 5 years ago and I do not speak to my Ex Husband as I went 22 years first through Physical then mental and verbal abuse and then I couldn't take no more, so it ended on bad terms as he made my Life a misery for 6 months after the Split He has moved to another Country which suits me just fine of course my Children, (who are grown) go to see him and that But I think it is good that you have been able to stay Friends with your Exes

Its so nice that you are still in good terms with your exs. And I think there is nothing wrong with that if your intention is clean... But to respect your current boyfriend's feelings I think you should consider cutting the communication with them.. Just to let your man feel secure that your totally all over him... I think if you really love him, you two should compramise right? Have a nice day!!!

Hi, i feel that it nothing wrong talking to your ex. Based on the if you must make sure that you will not give him any wrong ideas that u may give him another chance. If he get the wrong idea, it may be very troublesome. and i also feel that u may also want to keep ur bf informed. If not, he may also get the wrong idea. I had faced problem when talking to my ex and gave her a wrong idea that i wanted to patch back our relationship. Hope you will come to this situation.

i doubted that if man and woman can ever be friends only.as for me, i would never see or talk to my exs if our relationship cannot work out.we just move on as strangers.love is so vague.sometimes,we think love is gone,but for a moment,we'll feel it if we stay friends.everything has its ups and downs,so does love.so don't give your exs or yourself another chance to love if we both have our partner.

There was always a saying that sometimes you have to let love go but if it finds its way back then it was ment to be! I honestly think even after you guys broke up seven years ago there was something good that came out of it. If yall continued to be friends there was a connection and maybe it was that love that yall let go and found it's way back! I don't think is a problem talking to ex bfs and being there friends at all!!!

What ever choice you make is personally your own and you have to decide whats best for you, no one can decide that for you. I hate my hubby talking to ex's no matter if its just an hello in the street, i am happy in my marriage but its something i just hate, so i wouldn't to this to my hubby as i know how hurt i would feel. I would cute ties with any ex's i had if it was me in your situation.