Can you love someone you hate?
By careguarden
@careguarden (5670)
Philippines
October 18, 2009 7:15pm CST
I have a friend who told me story about someone whom she truly hate, even the first time she met the person she didn't like him. She told me that they often argue with each other. But I was surprised when one day she called and told me a different story that she became best friend with the guy whom she truly hate before. Anyway, things happened like that sometimes. Have you experienced loving someone whom you truly hate before?
5 responses
@Rainegurl (2156)
• Philippines
19 Oct 09
I have read somewhere -- and I quite agree -- that hate is not the opposite of love. Indifference is the opposite of love. So I think it is possible to love and hate at the same time. In your friend's case, I think there was attraction and she and the guy evoked strong feeling from each other. In other words, there was "awareness" between them. I mean, why get affected by the other people's actions if you do not care, right?
I have not experienced loving someone I hated before but I did experience the reverse. I was friends with this person, regarded her as my best friend. We had a fallout and for a time, I really really hated her. I could not forgive her. I realized that my hate stemmed from the hurt I felt because of what she had done. I cared about her as a friend but I believed I was betrayed. Thus, the hurt.
Cheers! 
@Laurie1986 (384)
• United States
19 Oct 09
You make really good points about this. Many believe that you actually *have* to love someone in order to hate that person, because like you say, you have to care enough for their actions to bother you. If you didn't care for that person, you'd be indifferent. I don't know that I have ever truly hated anyone--I don't think I have--but the people for whom I have harbored the most anger are the ones who hurt me, so obviously I had to love them first.
@careguarden (5670)
• Philippines
21 Oct 09
I agree with you, it's not hate the opposite of love it's indifference. And people most of the time shows indifference to one another and that hurts. I think they're not fully aware of what they're doing. Anyway, yeah there are times that we can't accept our feelings to other, so we try to fight by hating the person, when in fact the more we try to resist the more it takes us closer to the trapped of loving the person.
@buping (952)
• China
19 Oct 09
hi caregarden, i would not love someone i hate. my ex betrayed me in our relationship. my love to him suddenly changed into hateness. and i would never accept him to my bf. plus, i do not want to make friends with him anymore. and i would not meet him in my life if it is possible. happy mylotting
@careguarden (5670)
• Philippines
21 Oct 09
Well, it would be impossible for you to love your ex since he betrayed you. But I think once you'll able to forgive him and get over those bad feelings then through time, you'll learned to love him as a friend or a person. Even If I were in your in place I would also felt the same. But there so much more in life than we need to explore and holding the pain from the past won't do us good.
Anyway thank you for sharing with us and enjoy your day!
@ybong007 (6643)
• Philippines
19 Oct 09
You couldn't love someone that you hate. Maybe your friend already liked him all along she's just showing the opposite. A lot of people are like that, they will show that they don't like you but deep inside it's the opposite. When the other person starts to notice why notoriety in the first place and asks why, that to them is the opportunity to make friends. I think, no matter how hard the other person tries, if you really hate that person there's no way you'll make friends with him. Cheers!
