Being in love and loosing ones senses
@sanjana_aslam (4187)
Malaysia
October 19, 2009 8:58pm CST
.. it has been a though weekend for me .. am i really in love with this man, i am wondering after being his girlfriend friend for 14 years and married for 2 years now .. i still hate him for some "selfish" character he has ..
yes he has been my lover for so many years .. he never cheated me, he never hit me (oops only that once and i scractched him first so it does not count, he cares for me, he is gentle with me, he shares happy moments with me ..
But why ?? why ?? why does he treat my family so bad ... why cant he feel the pain of my mother, feel the need for my family to spend time with me .. or talk to me .. i stopped my family from visiting me.. i stopped visiting them ..
i do make phone calles to my family, i talk to them, i do visit them myself .. but they wonder if i am happy because there was no husband beside me all those times ..
But he is totally different with his home ... he makes calls 3 times a day, visits his sister in another state for 2 weeks stay , visits his family for 2 weeks stay
when we arrange for something in my home here .. he never ever called my family to join but he will call all his family members to come ... i dont want to call mine because of the humiliation they may be faced with as unwelcomed guests
I have always tried to be a good DIL even though, i am married to a difficult family
May god give peace to my parents and stop them from worrying about me !!
cheers
2 people like this
5 responses
@summertymesboutq (146)
• United States
20 Oct 09
Yes this is a difficult family issue. I don't know where to begin in my response because there is so much to say. I don't know your religion but first I say pray. It seems to me that your husband is selfish and is being unfair about your feelings. It should not be a one way marriage. Now that you two are married it should be a fifty - fifty relationship. If his parents and family is ok to visit then so should yours. There should not be any disputes or brawls. The length of time you two have spent together, over the fourteen years, should have drawn both families closer by now. I think that you two should sit down and talk, I mean really talk because you don't want something like this to destroy what you have found in each other. Then get both families together and give it your all in order to make things work.
@sanjana_aslam (4187)
• Malaysia
21 Oct 09
hi summer ...
for the 14 years .. his family was against our marriage ...
his family claim my family have thought me "black magic" to seduce their son
his mother forbade me from eating at my own mothers house ..
I am angry because .. my husband, educated and holding high position can behave so cheaply in life towards my own family
cheers
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
20 Oct 09
Your pain permeates thru every word Sanjana… whatever I say will sound empty, so just know that as a daughter myself, I sympathize with you. Somehow I feel your courtship and marriage was not a very smooth affair and somehow your husband seems to be taking advantage of you. Just know that its difficult being a woman, more so in a society like India. Our faith and our fidelity are our only strength…if you can look yourself in the mirror, if you go to bed with a clear conscience, half your battle is won. The other half, sadly, cannot be won by you but do remember that we suffer the consequences of all our actions in this life here on this earth itself.
@sanjana_aslam (4187)
• Malaysia
21 Oct 09
wow !! you really cheered me dear sudip love you dear - i have actually won 3/4 of my battle
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
21 Oct 09
Sweet I think you need to have a word with him and ask him straight out why
There is no need for that kind of behavior unless they have upset him bad and then he should be adult enough to sort it out if they have
You also need to tell your Parents that you are fine, but you do need to get it out of your Husband why he is like this with your Family
I hope you will manage my thoughts are with you Sweetie
Big Hugs
@allknowing (137598)
• India
20 Oct 09
Most of us go through this and it is unbearable when the man who we cannot live without does it. He is everything a woman would want but when it comes to his inlaws he draws a blank. At the same time it is not necessary that he should love his wife and also the baggage that comes along. Thank heavens he allows you to interact with your people and if you have no problem loving his people you are luckier than your husband because you have more people than he does. Take this in a positive way. After all love is something that cannot be demanded as it should be spontaneous.
@sanjana_aslam (4187)
• Malaysia
21 Oct 09
hi all ..
very tru indeed .. i have more people to love than he has .. wow thank you
@judy19989 (65)
• China
20 Oct 09
I am still a human being,it is unclear how the two people's lives,and to the best of blessings to you. Hope all is well soon```
