Son, Father, Fiance.... so called FAMILY
@summertymesboutq (146)
United States
October 20, 2009 8:47am CST
My son is three years old and such an innocent child. He loves his father and tell it to the world. He has no idea that his father only shows partial love back because he does not understand the things going on around him just yet. He looks forward to seeing his father daily just as he had been custom to for the past two and a half years; going to the barber shop, shopping, out to eat and over his grandma's house. He knows his voice and knew it before he was even born due to his father singing and rubbing my stomach all day everyday during my entire pregnancy.
His father has had a fiance for 7 of the 9 years that he and I was dating without my knowledge of it. He is so selfish that he cares about no one but his self and whatever surrounds him at that moment. He is so sneaky and knows his presence affects my son. By knowing that he doesn't care. He says that his fiance does not want my son around because she feels like she was betrayed because he had a son while they were together. She wants my son's father to completely deny his own son.
I am disappointed because we both wanted to have this beautiful boy and was together everyday the entire nine months putting plans together as a family. One day all of a sudden NO MORE. He just completely stopped coming around and caring for us. I am/was confused and so is my son. I am hurt just knowing my son is hurting. He will not give me money for him anymore, doesn't want to spend long lengths of time with him anymore or really see him anymore. This has been going on for the past six months now. I am not sure what the problem is with him but I am starting to wonder if his fiance knows about our son at all, because most women don't deny children, or does she know and told my son's father to cut all ties with him or she is leaving?
I don't know what else to do put get child support and play the father role. This is a really difficult situation and I hope that I can come to a conclusion FAST!!
3 responses
@OpinionatedLady (5965)
• United States
20 Oct 09
Having watched my nephew (4) go through life with a mother who has left him for months on end several times and who did give up custody (then fought to get it back 5 months later) I have a few things to say that may seem hard or even harsh and will affect your son now but will be better then the out come of an intermediate parent.
1. Speak as little about the father as you can. Only when he wants to or brings it up and then be simple and forward, not coddling but not harsh either..
2. Give the Father the final decision but make it the final one. He makes the choice now to be there or not, if he makes a choice and does not stand by it, cut him down. If he says he wants to be around but isn't cut him out. If he comes back in a year or two, tell him to go away. The choice needs to be made as soon as possible to have a small of an effect on your son as you can have happen.
3. Just be there for your kid. There will be times he doesn't like you, or dislikes your choices but in the end he will know that you where the one there, the one who hugged him, loved him, held his hand and chased away the monsters.
4. Find your self a good man who will love you and your son better and more faithfully then your ex obviously ever could.
@jodylee_04530 (1097)
• United States
20 Oct 09
Well that is a sad circumstance for both you and your son. My first advice is not to talk badly about your sons father to your son. Try hard not to let him see your anger to his father. He may only have a partial relationship with him and you will need to fill in ALL the holes. That may not be such a bad thing because perhaps your son will not learn from his father all the negative behaviors. I know understand how difficult this situation must be for you but try to be patient. You are dealt this hand for a reason and you can make it through it a very strong person, and so can your son. As far as child support goes, where do you live? If you are in the US I would go to Family Court and get a Parental Rights and Responsibilities Order filed so he can be obligated to pay childsupport. If he fails to do so they can garnish his wages so it comes directly to you and your son. Best of luck to you and your son! Stay strong!
