Who's fault is this?
By katsmeow1213
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
United States
October 22, 2009 2:18pm CST
You give your 12 year old kid his own cell phone. A 14 year old girl then sends your 12 year old son a naked picture of herself.
Who's fault is it? The 14 year old girls (or her parents)? Your son's?
Or your own for allowing a child of this age to have their own cell phone when it's painfully obvious that kids so young are not responsible enough to use the device without parental supervision?!?!
This scenario just happened to a girl I know. She's blaming the 14 year old girl, not her son, not herself.
Personally, I think it's her own fault because she knows her son is too immature to be responsible for a cell phone.
Just my opinion though... and most know that I'm pretty much against cell phones in the first place.
What's your take on the situation?
5 people like this
24 responses
@dawnald (85147)
• Shingle Springs, California
22 Oct 09
Actually I think this is a case of "I gave you a privelege and you couldn't be trusted". The girl's parents should take her phone away or at least remove her ability to send photos. The boy's parents should determine if he was in any way involved in soliciting the picture and take his phone away if he did.
2 people like this
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
22 Oct 09
I have a feeling neither parent in the situation will be that responsible, otherwise they probably wouldn't be in this mess in the first place!
2 people like this
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@aileen2008 (838)
• Philippines
22 Oct 09
Nowadays cellphone is already a necessity specially when there is an emergency. In the car, in the mall, in the school, your child can easily reach you and vice versa when there is trouble. The only downside is when the person does not know how to use appropriately a device that is most helpful to all of us.
I am from Manila, and the means of communication that was very well used during the typhoon Ondoy was the cellphone. How do you think these victims of typhoon was able to ask for help when the inside of their houses were all filled up with flood waters? Of course through cellphones.
If you really want your son to have a cellphone, give him the ones that does not have camera. Just give him an ordinary cellphone which feature is only to text and call and not to take and receive pictures.
2 people like this
@angelsmummy (1696)
•
22 Oct 09
Its not anybodies fault really. Unfortunatly in this day and age kids of that age want to experiment. This is one way of experimenting. My brother is 11 and has had a mobile since he was 9. This is because he goes out to play and he takes his phone with him incase of emergencies. None of his friends know that he has a phone. He rarely takes it out unless he is going out with friends. Not if hes coming round mine or to other family members houses. It depends on the person
2 people like this
@mrssator2002 (281)
• Philippines
23 Oct 09
It is nobody's fault. I think parents gave their kids their own cellphone for a different reason. My 7 years old daughter had her own cellphone that she used to bring in school and my reason was I can make a call to check if she is okay. But me as a parent I was obliged to guide her in using such device.
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
23 Oct 09
Why would you need to see if she's okay while she's in school? First of all you're interupting her studies if you're calling her doing school hours, not to mention if she stops in the middle of class to take your call, she's interrupting all her class mates as well! I would be furious if my child were in her class! Kids go to school to learn, not to talk to their parents on the phone. If you need to ensure her safety at all hours in such a way, home school her!
Second of all, are you certain she follows your directions at all times, even when you're not there? I know most kids don't. As soon as their parents are not around they'll do what they want.
7 years olds don't know the first thing about responsibility, and at that age they should not have their own phones!! They should have TOYS!
1 person likes this
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
23 Oct 09
Then like I said, home school her! My kids go off to school everyday without cell phones and there has never been a problem. If there's a problem on the bus, the bus driver will call. If there's a problem at school they have phones there and will call. Why the child needs to have a diversion like a cell phone is beyond me. Besides that, most schools take the cell phones away if they see kids playing with them, so it's really pointless for a child to have it during school hours anyways.
1 person likes this
@mrssator2002 (281)
• Philippines
23 Oct 09
First and foremost I'm not interrupting her studies as well as her classmates. I make sure that I'm not calling her in the middle of her class because obviously I know her schedule and I know when to call. Why I need to call her if she is in school? the answer is, she go to school by herself without me riding the school bus so as a mother I always make sure if she arrived in school safe. A loving mother always makes worry when their children is out of sight. And as what I said parents had their own reason why they need to give their kids their own cellphone. For emergency purposes or whatever. And I know my daughter well and her limitation. I know that she is still in the track in obeying my rules.
1 person likes this
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@calai618 (1773)
• Philippines
23 Oct 09
Not all 12 year old girls who have cellphones do something like that so i guess there is really something wrong in her part. Though it's really hard to pinpoint exactly the reasons which lead to such event but I guess the parents and her environment really have a uge role in her being like that. That can't really be solved by taking away the phone because having cellphones don't make a person think of getting naked. The girl seriously has other issues in her personality and her life. Same thing goes with the boy. Not all boys at such age (assuming the boy in the story had participation) would participate in that kind of situation. And like I said, having cell phones don't lead you to doing that. These young kids surely needs proper parental guidance. They should be taught of what's wrong and what's right. Consequences of teir actions should be cleared to them. Parents should definitely talk with each other and their environments should be evaluated. Again, it's really ard to know whose fault is such thing and I bet there is not any single reason for it to happen. It needs a lot of work on all parts and I definitely would never blame it to an innocent cellphone. A cellphone has too many conveniences and it's not even a luxury but a need.
1 person likes this
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
23 Oct 09
How is a cell phone a need? Up until a few years ago we all lived without cell phones, and I don't see how we were any worse off for not having them! We had payphones, we knew how to call collect if need be. I think today's society has been spoiled a bit too much and we're no longer seeing the difference between convenience and necessity. No one in my house owns a cell phone, and very few of my friends have one. We use the old fashioned land line home phone. I don't NEED a cell phone and may never own one unless the land line companies stop providing home phones.
1 person likes this
@calai618 (1773)
• Philippines
23 Oct 09
Yes, we were contented with having landlines before because that was the best we thought we could have. But eventually there was the need for something more useful and that lead to cellphones being invented. Cellphones are suppose to be there to make life easier that it's not even a luxury anymore. No need to spend time to look for pay phones when you need one. They are very useful in emergency situations. They can be used for tracking lost cars or people. no need to purchase and bring any camera if you need one. God knows how hard it was for my family alone to spend special holidays before with cameras+film. I still have a lot of undeveloped films of previous family occassions. when the digicam was introduced, we were glad because finally we dont need to buy films or scramble for battery then when the cellphone+cam was introduced we could even take pictures of special moments especially unexpected moments. people who cant afford having a landline and a digicam would just buy a cellphone+cam to save and it's even much more useful because they can use it when the situation calls for it. Parents who need to be away from their children need cellphones to check on their children all the time. I can actually go on forever about thin topic. Anyway, I really believe that these gadgets require proper use and people should learn it or be taught about it.
i was also a minor when I started to own a cellphone with a camera and never did I think of doing such a thing the girl on your story did. Also, even people of legal age do such thing but it sure is not the cellphones which taught them to think of that. Children who are sexually advanced would find ways to show that even if you take away the friggin cellphone. I really believe that it's on the proper environment, upbringing and guidance that a child grows up decent. People, for me, love blaming external things because they are afraid to realize that they are the ones who had shortcomings and failed to do their jobs (for parents) or didn't learn what's right or what's wrong.
1 person likes this
@Zenstrive (237)
• Indonesia
22 Oct 09
It's the girl's fault because 14 is an age where they CAN take control of herself and HAS TO START to be responsible for herself. The boy should text her back to tell her to be decent or he will not contact her anymore.
Really, what has society becomes? Should we put out legislation to ban anyone not old enough to have ID card from having cellphone?
2 people like this
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
23 Oct 09
Primarily it is my own fault if I hand over something to my teenage child over which I am likely to have no control. Similarly, it’s the fault of the other lady too, if her daughter’s mind works in such a way that she’s sending naked photos of herself over phones. I have always maintained that kids are like clay…we model them however we want and whatever example we set for them. So even if its not always possible to monitor what growing kids are doing or to deny them common technology which most of their friends are enjoying (you know how peer pressure works), as parents its our responsibility to instill those values in them which would enable to differentiate between casual fun and immorality.
1 person likes this
@OpinionatedLady (5965)
• United States
23 Oct 09
I do not know what cell company you have but ours has major parental control options, we can track them block numbers for both calls and text, set it up to only except calls from certain phones, to turn off if they hit a certain amount of minutes. Yes some of these options cost more money but they can be worth it. There is also something called setting up rules. If your kids do not follow the rules you lay down it is your fault because you do not have control over your own offspring. They break the rules take it away. This goes with your teaching of morals which are of coarse intertwined. So many people today would rather be their kids friends, or "give them what I didn't have" with out raising them to be responsible.
1 person likes this
@cybermom45 (196)
• United States
24 Oct 09
It is definately the 14 y/o girl's fault. She is old enough to take responsibility for her own actions and should. At 12 the boy is old enough as well, but he only received the picture.If he asked for the picture, then he should bear some of the responsibility, otherwise, I agree that all he should do is to tell the girl to act decently or he will have nothing to do with her.
Kids that age are not to young to have cell phones. They often need them for safety reasons, but they are far too old to be considered not resonsible for their actions.
@kezabelle (2974)
•
23 Oct 09
It depends, I mean im 25 and even I dont expect people to send me naked pictures of themself on my mobile!!! Depends if he asked her to send it or if she just chose to, at the end of the day at 14 she didnt HAVE to send this photo so was her choice and my god at 14 i knew better than to send naked pictures of myelf to anyone!
In this day and age a mobile is a good idea for a child this age it means they can keep in contact with their parents they can be extremely hanfy in keeping a child safe also
Personally id rack it up to experience and just disable the phones ability to reciebe/send photo messages.
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
23 Oct 09
I think that a child should not have a cellphone that has all the capabilities of a normal cellphone until they are a sophomore in high school. I know they now make the phones that four buttons, one of each programmed with different numbers and are most commonly used for emergencies only, these phones would I give to a child that is under the age of 15, but at 15 I would feel that it'd be fine for a kid to have a normal working cellphone as they should be a sophomore in school.
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
23 Oct 09
I also meant to add that I think the fault is split between the teenage girl, her parents. The son, unless he told the girl to send said picture, had no fault in this. Even so, my earlier statement is still what I believe.
1 person likes this
@frankiecesca (2489)
•
22 Oct 09
I think the girls parents are mostly to blame if they do not realise that their daughter is up to that kind of stuff! Especially if the 12yr didn't do anything like that but, then again if I was giving my kid a cell phone it would be a pretty basic kind just to use to call people in emergencies not one with picture messaging on it!! lol
1 person likes this
@jesssp (2712)
• Canada
22 Oct 09
Whose fault is it? Society's. But that's much to much to get into!
I think it's the parent's responsibility on both ends. A 12 year old does not need a full function cell phone. I could see him having one that's pre programmed with his parent's numbers and other emergency contacts and those being the only ones he can call. No texting and definitely no picture messaging and internet access. I think that 14 is almost too young as well. In fact, until a kid has a job and can pay for it themselves I don't see why they should have a cell phone with all the features. Phones aren't just dial and talk tools anymore, they're tiny computers and there is just way too much 'stuff' for them to access.
The girl should have known better than to do something like that and I think the blame for that would have to lie with her parents. The boy didn't really do anything wrong but his parents - and hers - should really rethink them having a cell phone.
1 person likes this
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
22 Oct 09
That's what I'm thinking too, for the most part.
1 person likes this
@hagirl (1295)
• United States
23 Oct 09
The only way a child of that age of mine would have a cell phone is with guidance. I mean. Just about every phone service you go through has a way to program phone # in your childs phone if they really have to have one. They even let you program the # that they can receive. Do not let a child of that age have text either? Then you run into problems. So now we have the to young for both children out of the way. The girls of today are not like they were when I was growing up. I did not call boys they called me. I did not ask boys out. They asked me. I believe the girls parents need to have a very long conversation about respect for their daughters body. They need to have a long long talk with that girl. What was she thinking. The problem is alot of parents today do not talk to their children about s*x or they say they do not have enough time. Time is of the essence when rearing up children of today. I do kind of wonderful how the son reacted. Did his parent get see this before he showed all of his friends? You know if not that he did.
@bounce58 (17387)
• Canada
22 Oct 09
This topic is timely because my 9 year old has started asking me for a cellphone. He says, because all his friends and classmates have their own. I keep telling him that if he shows me that he is responsible enough, then maybe I'll consider getting him one. But with this happening, I don't think I can give hime something that has text or internet capability. Good thing he hasn't figured out that he can access the internet from his DSi.
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@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
22 Oct 09
It does seem like all kids of any age have cell phones. Mine have not asked for one yet, but I don't even have one and neither does my husband, and I think my kids know we don't have that kind of money. Even if I did, I would not allow it. My kids don't need a cell phone. They have a regular home phone they can use to call their friends.
1 person likes this
@sweetgirl_k1 (3972)
• United States
23 Oct 09
I would blame the 14 year old girl. The boy couldn't help what the girl sent to his phone. I wouldn't blame the boy's parents because they probably gave him the phone for safety concerns such as him getting home from school and the parents not being there yet or something like that. And they can't help that the girl sent it. I wouldn't blame the girls parents either because they probably have no idea that she sent it and if they did they probably would be mad. If I was the mother of that boy then I would be calling that girls parents and telling them what she did cause I'm sure they don't have a clue what she did.
1 person likes this
@Wizzywig (7847)
•
23 Oct 09
If I had a 14 year old daughter who was sending naked pictures of herself to anyone, I'd want to know about it because I would consider that extremely dangerous! The boys mother could have got him a basic phone that doesn't have a photo facility... but maybe the girl would have sent him explicit texts. I dont think its so much a question of whose fault it is but how each parent is going to deal with the situation to protect their respective children.
1 person likes this
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
22 Oct 09
With safety a big issue for some children I can understand why their parents give them a phone. However, in this case, I believe it is the girl's fault primarily. Why did she do that? what is going on in her family? Did he ask for a picture of her i the buff or did she just send it? If kids have phones then there has to be restrictions as to who they can call. All emergency numbers and family friends etc. No one else. All other functions such as Internet should not be allowed.
1 person likes this
@bettydeng5 (1822)
• China
23 Oct 09
It's very complexed to blame anyone who has mistake. A 14 year old girl is mature than 12 year old boy. To my personally, I will educate these two children, and tell them it's not good to send the naked picture to others, and don't be good to review the picture.
@solared (1207)
• United States
22 Oct 09
That depends how do you know she didn't send it on her own accord.
I have met women, an had them send me naked pics for no reason, an I'm not kidding...lol
Seriously though if your worried about your kids receiving pics like that, then you should block pic messages from their phones.
I kind think it's odd for a 12 year old to have a cam phone anyways.
Did anyone check her phone to see if he sent her anything?
Because let's be honest it's usually the men sending the pics,
I bet many of you here can think of some man you just met, that send you a dirty pic or email you never expected.
Like I said you don't know did she send it on her own, girls are more devious than people think especially 14 year old girls who probably already became a woman so to speak...lol
1 person likes this
@snshuklalis (69)
• India
23 Oct 09
hii, i think there are many faults, the girl who sent the picture i think she is living in a bad environment, her parents who do not give her a ethical education. and lastly you who give a cellphone to your 12 year old son, cellphone is not neccessory for him, because he always live in a guard in anyone, if he is in school he live in gaurding of their teacher, or he is in home he lives in guarding of their parent. so he do not need a cellphone...
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