I Lost Mom a Year Ago Today...

Hello LadyM, First I'd like to say I'm very sorry for your loss. Secondly my grandmother passed away a few years back, and on her anniversary of passing my mother tries to be all depressed and sad which is understandable, and she'll look at me and say "you know what today is" then I respond "Yes but do you really think grams wants you sitting around wallowing in sorrow all day, or would Grams tell you to get off your duff because there's stuff to be done?" That's all it takes and she looks up in an all but "pissy" manner and then gets on with her business. Having fought of severe depression I had to decide whether to let life circumstance and sadness build up and over power me, or whether to live. I chose to live.. and what I do is try and remember the happy times, and what grams would have said at my sad behavior. Sure I still mourn and cry but for a few minutes, then I get on with the rest of my day. I'm sure today will be very difficult for you and your father. So try to sit down with him look at pictures and share happy memories. Think to yourself, and ask him what your mom would want you to do on a day like this? While it might sound odd and goofy,.. maybe even bake a cake, invite any siblings over and celebrate your moms life. I know one thing that my grams loved the most was when the family got together and it sounds like your mom was that way too. The best way to honor her. and help your dad get through today I think would be to do something today, that she would have liked when she was here on earth. Take care and God Bless,..Oly

HI Sweetheart, My heart goes out to you today and to your Dad for your loss; I know all too well the pain you two are feeling with the loss of your Mom, and his spouse for so many years, WWWWWOOOWWW!!! 65 years that's amazing!!! We all deal with our grief in so many different ways, all I can say is I know you'll be there for your Dad, try to remember the good times and not relive the pain and suffering she went through or the pain and suffering you all experienced when she passed away; This time of year with the holidays fast approaching is the worst for me as it is I'm sure for everyone who has lost a loved one; My Mom has been gone now 12 years and my brother 14 years and it still seems and feels like yesterday; AGain my heart goes out to you to you and your family today {{hugs to you}} and if you need to talk about it you are welcome to email me, or PM me anytime ok?? who knows maybe our two Moms are friends now up in heaven huh? Hey it could happen (G) that thought does bring a smile to my face hopefully it will lift your spirits too!

I know I am a bit late here LadyM and I am sorry Also I hope you got through the Day ok, you are already doing the best thing you can so, you are there for your Dad and trying to keep him occupied which is good there is not much more you can do but show him that you love him and that he is not alone, which you are doing A big Hug to you

Hi LadyMarissa, I can understand you and your father's feeling, I am really very sorry for that. I know no one can replace a mother's place. Now you cannot bring back your mom, so I would suggest you remember all those memories of happy moments that you and your father spent with your mom and assure him that your mother is with you in your hearts and she wants every one to be happy. At this age your dad needs lot of care and love that only you can give because you know about their relation, you know how much your mother cared for your father, her soul will rest in peace if you take care of your father. So I would say please be bold and this is the life every one has to leave this world one day.

First,i'm sorry to hear that and pray for you family.Keep you more time to accompany you father as much as possible and let him know that your all still need him,just let the time to dilute the grief...

I'm sorry to hear that.You just do that he don't be alone.

i know how you feel. my dad passed away in early february and he wasnt that old. my parents still had a couple of years to reach their 50th wedding anniversary. i guess it just takes time to deal with it and get over it. i know christmas will be tough. how was it for you?

I am sorry for the loss. I lost my grandmother in 1991. She and my grandfather were married 45 years at the time she passed. I tried to be there for my grandfather. I had moved in with them when she became ill. After she passed he needed to be alone. So I moved out. All I did after that was keep in daily contact, make sure if he needed anything visit. In general, just be "there" for him. Still am, now married, hubby and family visit when he lets us. I don't think he ever truly healed.

That hasn't happened in my family but anniversaries are so horribly difficult, remembering when you lost a loved one. I can only imagine the pain your dad is feeling, at least he has you there for him. Losing your mom has to be almost as painful as his losing his wife. Your mom is waiting for you, though, it's only a temporary separation.

First I am really very sorry about you!It's really very hard to deal with the grief when someone losts the familiar people.I think time is the best way to deal with grief! just let time to deal with the grief.

I loss my mother thirteen years ago due to cancer. And I understand the grief you are going through. Just make your Dad feel that you love him and that you are going to be there for him always. Your love will comfort him and your father's love will comfort you too. I'm really sorry for your loss.