what would you do to feel appreciated?
By deberooney
@deberooney (418)
United States
October 23, 2009 10:59am CST
Do you ever feel totally unappreciated? I feel like no one is listening to me anymore...the kids ignore me and don't listen and my husband thinks I'm a piece of furnature! WTH is a person to do to get some attention short of screaming and going postal?
1 person likes this
6 responses
@SallyAnna (142)
• United States
23 Oct 09
Hi Deberooney,
Find some hobbies that interest you. Maybe some activities outside the home. It could be your family is just busy with other things and they don't realise how you feel. If you feel like a piece of furnature rearrange yourself, hee hee. Who knows if you shake things up alittle they might take notice of you more.
1 person likes this
@deberooney (418)
• United States
23 Oct 09
Rearrange myself....hmm...maybe I could shave my head and run around nekid? lol
@SallyAnna (142)
• United States
23 Oct 09
Shave your head and run around nakied. OMG funny! That's a sure way of getting them to take notice. woot woot
1 person likes this
@jugsjugs (12967)
•
23 Oct 09
I feel the same as you i feel like a door mat as well as get treated like one by my children,husband as well as some friends.I told them all at once one day how they made me feel as well as how they were treating me.They seemed better for a little while after that talk,but then it has gone back to how it was.
1 person likes this
@jbrooks0127 (2324)
• United States
23 Oct 09
You have ask an excellent question and I have no doubt there are millions of us out here that feel the same way. That feeling is not just reserved for women either.
The answer I would give you may not be something you are ready or willing to do but it will get results.
Set down and make a list of all the things you do for that family. Just to get a picture of what your value is. Don't share it with anyone....it is just for you.
Now..take that list and find one that if you no longer did it would get the most attention. Maybe cooking all the meals. Cleaning the house with no help. Doing dishes and laundry for everyone. Maybe even running the kids around to all their events. It makes no difference what you pick I guarantee you if you stop doing it, you will get noticed.
You will need be ready to take some heat and give an explanation as to what happened. But once you do that, and explain why you did it, they will see clearly what they now take for granted. May not do any good right away but if you keep it up, or stop doing more on the list, you will get attention.
No one wants to be taken for granted. You don't need to scream or go postal. When they come up short because of something they assumed you would do, that they could do themselves, you will no longer be taken for granted.
Good luck to you. And remember this....remaining calm and doing less will get there attention long before screaming and hollering ever will. At least with your children.
1 person likes this
@Ruralchook (538)
• Australia
25 Oct 09
Im in the same vote as you. My kids think Im a walking money tree. They expect me to work for money that they can spend, but I can only work when they are out doing what they want to do and the other times Im expected to be an old maid at home doing the cooking cleaning and stopping the fights.
I work 6 days a week, have no help, come home at 10pm to find no dishes done, food and rubbish left everywhere, and I still have the dog to take out and washing to do. Then I get up at 6am to make sure they are ready for school, tidy up more and head back to work.
In 20 months Ive worked an average 6 days a week and on my day off Im running after the kids, other family members or cleaning house. I finally get a week off work, but hello the family says no to baby sitting so guess who may as well go back to work.
@ersmommy1 (12588)
• United States
23 Oct 09
I do my everyday tasks. Laundry, cleaning, spending time with the kids. I take care of the dog. And more often than not I am showed appreciation. Maybe you could sit down and have a conversation with your family about how you feel. If not try the postal thing. Break something REPLACEABLE to get their attention. THEN talk,good luck!
1 person likes this
@deberooney (418)
• United States
23 Oct 09
lol...I was thinking of going on strike! lol Maybe if they all have to feed themselves and wash their own clothes for once they woll see I actually do something.
@shadow41 (2351)
• Philippines
23 Oct 09
Hi. This must be so hard to you. Maybe you need to talk more with your kids. Ask them how's their day. What are they feeling. Maybe they just need you to listen to them. Are you a working mom? This usually happens when a mother is working and can't take good care of her family anymore.
shadow41
@deberooney (418)
• United States
23 Oct 09
No..I am an at home mom. I do talk to them alot, but feel taken advantage of right now.