An arising debate BEFORE GETTING MARRIED.. phew!
By jaygurl143
@jaygurl143 (23)
Philippines
October 24, 2009 8:25pm CST
Hi everyone... Getting married is one big STEP and of course one should be pretty much sure that the one that she/he marries will be forever willing to spend the rest of his life with his/her partner... BUT!! There are two questions that really comes into my mind when it comes to settling down.
"Should the couple be at least 4 years or more for them to finally decide to settle down?? Knowing that they have been together for so long and that they already know each other so well?? --OR!!-- Is it OK for these couple to get married even if they have been together for like 3 years and below?? even if both of them are pretty much sure of the decision and acceptance of living the life together for eternity?"
To make the long question short... Before going to marriage.. Does the YEARS of you and your partner count?? or NOT at all??...
PHEW!... really excited to hear it from you guys, because this has been an arising debate between me and my dad.. lol ^_^
3 people like this
8 responses
@solared (1207)
• United States
25 Oct 09
It dosen't matter how many years, what matters is agreeing on your morals religions, how you can handle children or if you want them.
A lot of people think only with their heart, but you got think practical an logical before getting married too, like where will you live will one move, are you both working, what are your plans in the future will one of you advance in your career an move for better work, an will the other be happy with the decisions.
All things you should consider before marriage, also do you have pet peeves an will your partner, not irritate with those peeves.
Basically you need to agree on many things before marriage if you do that you will be more successful than someone who lived with their partner for many years, but never looked into those things.
My grandparents knew each other a few months an have been married 52 years.
1 person likes this
@hexeduser22 (7419)
• Philippines
25 Oct 09
The years doesn't count before marrying yet it could offer some advantage, If you think about it the advantage is somewhat negligible because you get to know each well also during the married life too
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
25 Oct 09
My husband and I got married one month ago on Monday. We knew each other two years before we got married, but really wanted to get married before that. I think that as long as a couple know they love each other and that they have found the right person, then they should marry. Sure, a couple should definitely talk it over, but I think that no matter how long a couple has been together, unless it's only a week, or a few months, then they should marry. If only knowing each other a week or a few months, then the two should rethink things, or think things through... but otherwise, I say yes.
@jaygurl143 (23)
• Philippines
25 Oct 09
Wow... first of all i wanted to congratulate you guys.. best wishes to both of you... and thanks for the respond... im glad because i find that were on the same boat about this.. ^_^
2 people like this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
25 Oct 09
Thank You So Much For The Congrats, and I am glad that you agree with me! Have a wonderful day.
1 person likes this
@liquorice (3887)
•
25 Oct 09
My husband and I were together for six years before we decided to get married. It just didn't really come up before then. Then we thought, ok, we might as well get married! So by the time we did tie the knot, we felt as if we were already married. (If that makes sense!)
Because we'd known eachother for so long we didn't have any of the pre-wedding doubts that a lot of couples have - because marriage wasn't a major change for either of us in our relationship.
So it worked out well for us to know one another for years before we got married. But everyone's different and every relationship is totally different. I know people who have got married one year or less after meeting. You have to have faith in what you feel, and do what feels right for the both of you. Good luck!
@dlr297 (5409)
• United States
25 Oct 09
I was 14 when i met my husband and i knew that i wanted to spend the rest of my life with him right away, and that is what has happened.
My son married a girl after knowing her for only a couple of months and they have been happily married now for almost 10 years.
One of my daughters dated, and then lived with a man 6 years before they got married, and they were only married for a few years, and are now divorced.
I do not believe that time is going to be the deciding point if your marriage is going to last or not. Because you are always going to be learning different things about each other, and you are always going to be changing and looking at things differently as you grow older
Having a good marriage is something that you have to work on every day that you are married. It takes Love, understanding, patience, comprise. and it takes two people to work on it together.
@jaygurl143 (23)
• Philippines
25 Oct 09
Thanks for sharing your story to me dlr297, your story was indeed one good example about this issue.. We actually have the same opinion... That figure doesn't count.. ^_^
Thanks for the response and goodbless to you and your family..
@bird123 (10643)
• United States
25 Oct 09
If you are sure it's true love, time does not matter. If you aren't sure, time is your friend. True love will never leave no matter the wait. I know a couple that married after a month. They were married over 50 years when one passed away. True love has lots of chemistry even after years. Is the chemistry still high??? The question shouldn't be about time. The question should be whether this is true love or not. Don't marry until you are sure.
@jaygurl143 (23)
• Philippines
25 Oct 09
TRUELOVE rocks...anyway,,I do agree that both should sit down and talk about the plan...^_^
@lealuvy2j (1986)
• Philippines
25 Oct 09
I don't think it matters that much. I know a couple who are in a relationship shorter than 3 years and ended up getting married and are still very much happy after 10 years of marriage. On the other hand, I have a friend who was in a relationship for 10years but things did not work out in that relationship and she ended up marrying a man she dated for only 5 months and they are still very happy after 5 years of marriage. It really depends on how mature and committed the two people who are getting married that makes the marriage work. Thus, the years do not really count. :)
@free_man (7330)
• United States
25 Oct 09
Well it depends on the situation your in first if you know the person and are sure that you could wake up next to that person for the rest of your lives and know for sure that you will always love that person. Then I wouldn't think of the years you spend with that person I would be thinking of the moments you spend together. I am lucky I met my mate and we know each other so well we can usually finish each others sentences. We met one day and started hanging out with each other the next day and knew at that moment that we wanted it to be forever. It isn't just the physical appearance it has to do with the mental too. We both had been in bad relationships before we met and we both started off with respect and friendship. And in a few months we were ready to get married and have been together for almost 3 years now and nothing has changed we still love to hang out and work and play together. We still can discuss anything and everything.
