How do I get out of this dilema?
By cattlegard
@cattlegard (17)
United States
August 29, 2006 11:07am CST
I payed child support to my exwife for over eleven years. My ex passed away four years ago and I have custody of my two children. The state where we were divorced in came back on me for over $27,000 of unpaid child support. I paid it directly to my ex because when it was sent to the state she would not get it for months. I have spoke with the state and they say that since it was not sent to them first, they have no proof she recieved it. What can I do? I have spoke with several attorneys and they all want to charge me $10,000 to $20,000 to take the case.
5 people like this
17 responses
@ossie16d (11821)
• Australia
15 Oct 06
What was the actual initial court order, i.e. pay the money directly to your ex-wife or through a government agency?
How did you pay the money to your ex-wife? If you paid by cheque, money order or directly to her bank account, then any of them can easily be traced. If you paid her cash, then did if come out of your bank account first. The alternative is that can anyone else substantiate that you actually did pay her the money. If so, get an affidavit from them and send it to the state concerned.
Good luck.
1 person likes this
@jessycardy (684)
• Italy
29 Aug 06
Okay, I'm not a law expert, but... If you didn't pay for months and she didn't claim that to the authorities... then it would have been her fault, I think! Isn't there any relatives or friends that can witness in your favour or something?
1 person likes this
@sanell (2112)
• United States
8 Sep 06
go to this website it is called pre paid legal it is totally affordable and may be someone who can help you. My friend may be able to help you get the answers you need without paying tens of thousands of dollars because it is like you said, if you try to fight it you are going to be out $47,000.00 instead of just paying the $27,000 that they are asking for that you really do not owe!!
Here is the link
http://wserver0.prepaidlegal.com/Multisite/Multisite?site=hub&assoc=teresap_14
@protectiva (687)
• United States
19 Nov 06
hey, i heard about Prepaid Legal on the Tom Leykis show. I have been thinking about getting it.
@sabrinam (1203)
• United States
25 Nov 06
Okay, do you have any records of these payments? Were they regular withdrawals from the bank? Were they checks and did you write child support in the memo line? Did you ever get a receipt from her? Someone in her family that will vouch for you? If you have any of that, you can speak with an attorney with confidence that you can resolve the issue. If money is an issue, see if there is a chapter of Fathers for Equal Rights in your area.
@sabrinam (1203)
• United States
25 Nov 06
I should add that Fathers for Equal Rights is a nonprofit organization where lawyers donate their time to assist people in handling their own cases and if necessary you can retain one of them, sometimes with a payment plan, depends on the attorney. Or maybe LegalAid in your area. I don't see why they're after you unless the children are still minors, or your ex was on government assistance and they want their money back? Who knows.
@Monopolized (236)
• United States
21 Dec 06
The only way I could see is getting her beneficiary to try getting a copy of her bank statements. I'm not sure if they go back that far, but it's worth a shot.
If you paid in cash, you owe them the $27,000.
@lolalolacherrycola (899)
• United States
3 Feb 08
Sadly enough, I think you may have no recourse.
Many times, when support is sent directly to the custodial parent and not received through the Child Support Ageny, it is considered a gift.
I feel bad for you....Good Luck!
@Aali311 (6112)
• United States
23 Oct 06
Why do you have to pay when you have custody of the childen, it doesn't make sense, I don't think they could do much, one reason is your ex passed and she's not there to fight on their side so, eventually they will have to drop it. You don't need a lawyer.
@honey81416 (103)
• United States
15 Oct 06
Well they can't make you pay it cause it would go directly to you seeings how your ex-wife passed away and you have the childern. Either that or pay it and it comes to you.
@ladygator (3465)
• United States
19 Nov 06
wow! that is a tough one. Friend of the court really is something isnt it? If you cant afford an attorney dont they have other alternatives where you are?
@LackThereOf (571)
• United States
21 Nov 06
I would start with family and friends that can act as a witness on her behalf that you paid. Next i would check bank records - hers as well as yours for proof of cashed checks you wrote her, proof of endorsed checks she cashed. If the amounts are on the level, or above what the state wanted you to pay, that's your proof you did. If she never logged a complaint with them that you weren't paying, it shouldn't be an issue I would think...? Let us know how it goes...best of luck to you!
@classicaljazz (1628)
• United States
29 Aug 06
Your best bet if you can't afford an attorney is to try and go to court yourself. You are going to have to bring ALL your bank statements with the check or withdrawl highlighted and witnesses. If you can't prove that you paid it, you will have to pay it again.
@sedel1027 (17846)
• Cupertino, California
25 Sep 06
I don't know how much money you make, but you may be able to get a lawyer through the state. http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/programs/cse/extinf.htm
I would dig up all old income tax forms and bank statement - anywhere you would have documented paying child support - and bring those down to the court house to sshow them that you did pay.
@MySpot (2600)
• United States
14 Oct 06
The problem is that she is not present to witness that you've made payment and you say you never got reciepts.
If she had given you reciept of payment or at least made notification to the Child Support Agency that she'd recieved payment from you then you'd have a leg to stand on... at this point, I think the State will not likely consider your word as evidential and will continue to pursue you for back support.
Sorry and Good Luck!
