Help me help my daughter........

My Mom has been there for me through everything - getting married, having a baby, and I so appreciate the times when she openly and lovingly told me she thought I was making a mistake. I appreciate her honesty, and someday I hope your daughter will appreciate yours. You do need to tell her how you feel. For me, that would be that a baby needs a consistent "home" environment to feel safe and comfortable. It's the best for her son, and he needs to be her priority now. You might also say that your house is not a hotel, to stay whenever she wants, but that you've opened it up to her to be a home. You can let her know that you love her and you want to help her, but people in your house either live in your house or they don't. It might be that being back with Mom makes her feel like a kid again, and she doens't like that so being out with people makes her feel more independent. If that's the case, it may work better to try to find her a work-at-home job (maybe loan processing?) and her own apartment so that she can have her independence and her son can have a home. Since it's affecting you now, it's probably best to get your thoughts together and say something now, before you get too frustrated and say something stronger than you meant to and end up regretting it.

As a young mother, I understnad the need to want a life, but at the same time, I understand the responsibility of being a mom and providing for my child. I understand how hard it must be but in the end it all comes down to sitting down and camly talking about the issue, without making her feel like you are pointing out all the wrong things but with also making her see the things she could change for the better. At any point Its hard to be honest witht he ones we love if the truth is going to hurt them. Good LUck!

I have been where you are at, only last year with my son, his wife and my granddaughter. I have a discussion about it. However, I finally reached the point of telling them, they had to get their own place. I couldn't deal with the BS anymore. They still needed me to watch my grand daughter, so of course I got the initial flack and arguments for a while. But things settled down. I am sure you will reach the point where you health, and mental well being will give you the answer in which you need to rectify the problem.

You shouldnt worry about making her mad. She is still a kid herself, she is in your house! Explain to her that she isnt making good choices, at 20 she can just crash werever, thats part of being young and free, however she made the choice to have a child and crashing at whoevers house isnt a good enviorment for children. She will hopefully thank you one day. Good luck!