did you often wish your lover would die?

wish - wish
@ana3173 (420)
Philippines
October 28, 2009 7:26pm CST
sometimes you think about this not because you're a terrible person but because you feel trapped, you think that there's no way out and you don't know how to get out of the trap. other women tells this because they remembered how painful living with this kind of man, because they are emotionally battered, physically abused, bruises from the constant verbal abuse and not only fantasized her husband dying, but other women often had suicidal thoughts. they are exhausted and drained and all i want to do is to get away, she said. sometimes women don't leave because of children, they knew that even if they left they would still be feel responsible. in their minds the only way out for them is wishing their lovers to die. the way to get out of the trapped is to let go of responsibility for others feelings and to have their own responsibility for what they feel and this is a huge challenge for a woman. taking care of themselves rather than caretaking their lover/husband left them feeling unbearably guilty and this was the caused of feeling so trapped. remember caretaking is a form of control rather than loving their husband, giving up themselves to get approval or avoid disapproval and women realize that husbands should responsible for their feelings.
1 person likes this
3 responses
• Southend-On-Sea, England
29 Oct 09
I used to feel exactly like that when I was married, not because my ex husband was cruel or violent or abusive in any way; quite the contrary, but I just had made a mistake in marrying him and felt totally trapped. Eventually I found the strength to end the marriage and I wished I'd have done it a lot sooner. We both ended up being happier as a consequence.
@xannebull (1793)
• Philippines
29 Oct 09
i never wished that one because i dearly loved my husband so much, i would die if he'd die and he's my life. we love each other very much until the end of our life.
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
29 Oct 09
I think marriage should not tie a woman down. It is only a piece of paper that legalize the union. Take that out (through divorce) the relation will be cut off and you don't bind yourself to him anymore. We should not live on miseries. If we find marriage life suffocating, by all means seek for a proper route to freedom rather than hoping for the other to die.