Should I Stay or Should I go?

Hi usemyname! After reading your discussion, i think you should go. You see if you still stick to each other after trying many times to save the relationship and failed, would be enough reason to get out of that situation. Yes, your kids will be affected but are'nt they themselves are witnesses to your miserable situation? Talk to them present the pros and cons. Maybe they'll understand.

If you have tried everything and it does not seem to work out then its high time to go on your separate ways, anyway you can still be friends. I'm sure your case is no exception. the kids will understand eventually, don't let your marriage be a prison because it's not what it is for, if it's not working, let go and move on, life is too short.

It is difficult to advise because only you know deep in your heart what you should do. I do agree that arguing in front of the children and for them to live in a loveless household is not healthy. The way I see marriage is for life and one should leave no stone unturned before walking away from it. It sounds as though you and your husband have done that and if you know deep down inside that there is nothing else you can do then it would be tragic to spend the rest of your life in misery. Whether you have done all that there is to do only you can know. I wish you the best of luck with whatever you decide and remember life is too short to spend it with regrets and resentment.

In life, everything can't be perfect. Rather, nothing is perfect in life. So there is nothing like a dream relationship and a soul mate. You need to adjust yourself according to the situation. Life is all about compromise. Even in a 'happily married' situation people do compromise to be happy. In your case, it's not only you two. You know that children suffer badly in a case of separation. It's about their future. But as you said quarrellings in front of them will not do any good either. It's a bad situation. But try to make your partner understand what will be the outcome if you two get separated. Be calm and sit again with your spouse with a positive mind set that you'll get positive results. Do not think every answer of your spouse will make you happy. Once again compromise a little. Both of try to compromise. Try the formula of forget and forgive. I'm sure result will be better. But even if this doesn't work and things go worse then you need to take divorce. Remember Divorce won't solve any problem. It creates a many. But for some mental piece people go for divorce. So do not think of divorce until there's really no other way. Separation is the last option. Try all the other options sincerely before knock at the law.

After you have tried every thing nd if nothing seems to be changed between u both then must take a decision keeping in view of ur children coz it is dem who suffer the most with out their parents living together.you have said tat u were looking to disolve ur marriage but wat abt ur spouse if he too has the same opinion its good to be apart.

Divorce doesnt solve anything. can only bring harm to you and your children...think more about you live ,what causes your problems,couples need to endure and understand more than friends,that is why called family,you have children,that means you have emotion in ur love,nothing would be larger than emotion--love.sit down and talk,fing out if the reason is really irreversible ,try to minimum the harm. Good luck

I know that most people think that it is better to stay together. I dont believe that, in fact I know it isnt. I come from a home that there was fighting all the time and all it did was make us uptight and nervous all the time. It was such a relief when my mom decided to leave. Things were so much better we were able to relax and not wonder what was going to happen everyday. We were able to be kids!

There have many couples that have stayed together until the kids were of age before getting a divorce. Quarreling is not good. Yes, it certainly could do the same damage to the kids. My sincere opinion would be this: Why did you get married in the first place? Why did you have two kids with this person? And, what did the marriage counselor say about the two of you? If you are both unhappy then time to disolve the marriage BUT, I would find a good counselor to help stop the quarreling and be sure that you uphold your child support responsibilities after the divorce.

Well, that depends on a lot of things. Did you sample couple's therapy or did you actually commit together and go together every week for several months? It takes work to maintain a marriage and if both people are not mature and committed it will not work.

This is a very difficult situation most especially for your children but really what is the essence of staying in a marriage when you are unhappy. The impact of the divorce would not be difficult if your children are older because they will undertand but i think it is best to quit the marriage.

In my own opinion i think you and your husband will separate because it is much harder for your kids to see both of you quarrel. they said that it is much better to stay in a relationship together for the sake of the child. But for me, you can still take care of your child and do the role as a parent although you are both separated. But Im not forcing you to do this, just think of the better way.

People always say you should stay together for the kids, but is it reall good for the kids to see parents always arguing? I think if there is no love and respect in the marriage then you should not be together. The kids will be ok with the seperation as long as you make sure that both of you can stay in their lives everyday. If you stay together and continue the arguing, the kids may grow up to have resentment towards one parent or both parents. But it is important to let the kids know that no matter what they are still loved by both of you and both of you will see them everyday and spend quality time with them everyday. They need to feel secure in the fact that this is not their fault and sometimes people just can't stay together as a couple, but you can always remain as friends.

Things are not working out?Sounds divorce is the best and unique choice.You two still have feeling between each other makes it different,the question is whether you two still have?you are right,if you continue quarreling everyday,it could do the same damage with your kids,and something that afford shade in your kids's heart.

I am a child of divorce. It's really hard and it will hurt the children, I'm not going to pretend it doesn't. But it's so much better for my little sister and me to see our mother be strong as a single mother, get remarried to someone that is better for her and learn from that experience. My father remarried also and both of my biological parents are incredibly happy in their new relationships. I have a lot of issues with my father and he and my mother do not get along well at all. But when I ask her about their relationship she says that they may not have been right for each other but they were together to make my sister and I. I think that when your children see you unhappy, no matter how young or old, they know something is wrong. And you want them to have healthy relationships, so what better way than to show them. It's going to be hard to leave but if you have both given up then there is no point in staying together. Just do whatever is going to make you happiest, in this lose-lose situation.

The good thing is that you both acknowledged that the marriage is in trouble and you both seeked help. I do not know how long this has been going on but I will say this, do not stay in a marriage for the emotional state of your children. Although it may seem like the right thing to do, I believe the children will eventually want parents that are happy and not argueing all the time. Staying in that environment will only distance the children from you both. Who wants to hear their parents argue all the time instead of showing love? I've been married for over ten years now and what you describe is a marriage of misery. I can't imagine what you are going through. If you feel in your heart that it is over. Then it is. I wish you the best.

i think you tried everything to save your marriage but still don't work...so i think you need to go.....find yourself but don't stop get in touch with your children.....

It is really hard to be in a situation like yours. I thinks that it is better to let it go. Things are not working out to both of you after you have done everything. I can see that there is no more love. That is why it is not working out anymore. If you both love each other, you will find ways to solve it. You will understand each other. You are solving the problem for the sake of your children but to yourselves it will not work out. I know that they will understand you if you decide to let go of the relationship. Try to explain to your children and i believe that they will understand you. Marriage should be bound by love, trust and commitment.