Boy or girl: Did you have gender disappointment?
By fler
@feodda (579)
Philippines
October 30, 2009 12:40am CST
At about 16 weeks, some choose to find out the gender of their baby. There are a lot f people who experience gender disappointment. And often they just don't talk about it.
Some wished from one gender, but got the other, yet some just happy the baby was healthy. Others have experienced disappointment when finding out the gender wasn't what they had hoped for.
Is it acceptable to talk about gender disappointment? Did you experience any sadness upon learning the gender of your baby? Have you not thinking it can affect to them too?
3 people like this
11 responses
@msfrancisco9369 (10002)
• Boston, Massachusetts
30 Oct 09
I don't mind if my baby's gender is girl or boy as long as he or she is healthy i will be so happy to welcome him/her to our family. Having preferences is unevitable among couples especially those who's praying hard to have a son or a daughter but still what matters is the health status of the baby.
@vingyan06 (2486)
• Malaysia
30 Oct 09
True enough, a baby's gender isn't that important compare to its healthy. Who will get bother about the gender as long as the baby is born to be a healthy and cheecky.
I am lucky to say that I have a girl and a boy. For my first pregnancy, me and my hub do hope to get the first child is a boy. But we got a girl. We both still so happy about her arrival.
@msfrancisco9369 (10002)
• Boston, Massachusetts
31 Oct 09
I have two boys and if God permits we're praying for a baby girl too. A healthy baby girl or another baby boy will be fine with us.
@vhinzstrife (771)
• Philippines
31 Oct 09
yeah true when i will have my first born child i want it to be a girl i don't know why but it's what i am dreaming ^^v but what if it is a boy... will i be disappointed? yeah I've been thinking about that... but i can have a boy next after the girl so i think it's ok ill be happy still.. thankful to have a child.. =)
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
30 Oct 09
Call me an old fashioned . If I were to have kids,I'll want to have 4 boys .That way there is a chance at least one will want to follow in his father's footsteps.
@maximax8 (31046)
• United Kingdom
30 Oct 09
I always wanted to have a girl and a boy. I thought that it would be ideal to have both genders. If I only had one child I would have wanted to have a girl.
It wasn't possible for me to find out the gender of my first baby during pregnancy. I was grateful to receive a healthy boy. Twelve years later I had a second pregnancy. At 16 weeks I was disappointed not to be told girl. I then found out I was having a disabled baby. I loved him as soon as he was born. Luckily I still got my baby girl this year.
I know some ladies that suffer from gender disappointment. One lady had six sons then got a seventh son. She had treatment and gave birth to triplet girls. One lady thinks she is going to have a boy and she feels depressed about that. She wanted a second girl.
@weasel81 (2496)
• Australia
30 Oct 09
i didn't find out what my son was going to be, but if my grand mother in the u.k. fell sick we were going to tell her. as my son was going to be her first great grand child. main thing was he was healthy, of course i'd like to have girl. but i think it's the same with all parents. i've still got my mind set on a girls name and have found another boys name i like, if i have any more kids.
@EnglishTeaDuck (862)
• United States
31 Oct 09
I think people are made to feel guilty for wanting one gender or another. If I had a child I would prefer a girl - I can't imagine relating to a boy and I would be disappointed. But, it would not affect how I felt about the child once they arrived, I don't think, and I would certainly make sure the child knew they were wanted.
I think I would want to know in advance, that way I could reconcile myself to one or the other before the baby arrived.
The fact that someone has a preference, which may be based on their experience, or just a natural thing, doesn't mean they are NOT concerned overall with having a healthy baby.
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
30 Oct 09
There’s no doubt of the fact that the birth of a healthy baby is the biggest cause of joy for the family. Even then, many people have some expectations regarding the gender of the unborn baby and I was no exception to this. I had always wanted a boy for myself mostly coz there are only girls in our family. I have grown up among girls and have always wished to know how it was to have a growing boy at home. Also, I love the freedom that boys have when compared to girls…when we were growing up, there were so many donts for us girls…I was always scared as to how I would have to do the same things to my own girl (if I had one) which I myself did not like but which are necessary for various reasons.
Fortunately, God heard my wish and when my turn came, I was blessed with a healthy baby boy. Yes, I would have been a tad disappointed if I had given birth to a baby girl.
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
30 Oct 09
I was very fortunate because I ended up with a little girl which is what I always wanted; in fact, awful as this sounds, when I was younger I used to joke that if I ever gave birth to a boy I would give it back! I outgrew such stupid thinking when I finally did become pregnant after trying for almost six years; by that stage I was so thankful to finally be having a baby that I couldn’t have cared less if it was a boy or a girl!
@lelin1123 (15595)
• Puerto Rico
30 Oct 09
The two times that I was pregnant the doctor got it wrong. He had told me the first time I was having a boy. I had a girl with no name for her. However I was excited. The second time the doctor said he thought I was having a boy. Low and behold I had another girl and I was slightly disappointed. Only because I was hoping for a boy and a girl. Needless to say I didn't try for another because with my luck I would have ended up with another girl. My youngest heard the story and thought I didn't want her but I had to explain to her exactly what happen and that I loved her no matter what.
@jndlponti (2402)
• Philippines
30 Oct 09
That is true. The feeling of the mother will affect the baby inside. Though they are still inside the womb they are very sensitive about anything. They could even hear the voice of the people talking outside.
On my experience I notice that my baby recognizes her dad's voice. Whenever she is very uneasy inside and keeps on kicking, her dad will just talk to her and we let her hear a music then she will calm down.
We did not experience really that we get dissapointed with our baby's gender for we are welcome whatever God will give us. We will be greatful if it is a girl or if it is a boy.
@jen20ixm (165)
• Philippines
30 Oct 09
i havent had kids or have been pregnant, i do love to have a baby girl in the future (if time and god permits in the right time) but ig it turns out to be baby boy, i really dont mind it, whatever it is, i'll accept with all my heart. actually if it turns to be baby boy, my boyfriend would jump into happiness. but whatever it is, we'll accept it will responsible and love.