Should I pursue this?

Hi Jen! How recent was the post? If this woman received it maybe she is in a bit of shock that she got a response. Or maybe she didn't get it at all. It could have landed in her spam folder. Some people never look in there, so don't let this discourage you from pursuing it, if you wish to do so. Keep in mind that email addresses and phone numbers can change. When I was trying to contact my sister I had a hell of a time trying to find her. I did a search for her through the Internet and all the numbers and addresses it gave me were old. Apparently she moved around a lot! I eventually got in contact with her a few months ago. Okay, so I probably could have just asked our dad for this information, but as she wants nothing to do with our mom's side of the family I figured she'd want it kept confidential and knowing my dad he'd respect her wishes so I didn't bother to ask. Good luck whatever you decide to do. Happy mylotting!

But there was a time that you wanted to know kiddo. And you wouldn't have written this if it wasn't still eating at you. I think you should persue it. If you are at all like me you will always wonder if you don't and there will come a time you will kick yourself for not doing it.

I would not give up on this. He may want to meet you too. I hope that one day you will be able to meet him. I have a sister that we met for the first time about 7 years ago. My mother gave her up for adoption when I was 7 years old. It was great to meet her. Even though we aren't close, we still are sisters.

I definately think you should pursue it. After all she was looking so she is interested...I realize she wasnt looking for you specifically but there could be a lot of reasons for that like maybe she doesnt even know about you or maybe she wanted to get in touch with your mother first and then the rest... But at any rate I am sure once you talk to her and she finds out that your mom is gone she will be interested in getting to know you as well. You also said you contacted her but you havent heard back but a week is not very long so give it a little more time... people go through all kinds of emotions in a situation like this and she is probably going to contact your brother before she gets back to you and ask him what he wants to do since it concerns him the most. Even though she reached out first sometimes people do that and then they think nothing will come of it or whatever and then when they actually get a response their heart kind of drops and they arent sure what to think. And also she may be trying to do a little research on you as well before she replies...that would be a normal reaction and something anyone should do. Just give it some time...it may take her a while to decide to get back to you but i bet you anything she will!!

Even though no one like rejection, in a case like this I would go for it and pursue it all the while telling myself that what ever reaction I receive I will be able to handle. In my opinion if you let it go and do nothing you may always have it on the back of your mind and regret your decision years down the track when it may be too late to do anything about it. I would definitely try to contact this woman again and see what happens... Good luck with whatever you decide...

I would pursue it, because you will never know what could be unless you pursue. If its meant to be it will happen. If he is not interested you will know it but at least you tried and did your part in trying to find him. He will most likely be open to meeting you and being a part of your life. Good luck with your decision.

The lady might not reply if she doesn't want to pursue what you have said. Sometimes with adoption there are many feelings that people wish to hide. I think it would be lovely if you are able to find out about your brother. I think that you should tread carefully and there wouldn't be any harm in gently pushing your question. If you don't pursue your question you might feel dissatisfied because you don't know. I hope it goes well whatever you decide to do. Good luck.

Oh I think you should follow up on this. I think your brother would get some satisfaction in knowing you and that connection. I also think you would also. You have a lot in common. I think if it were me...I'd just have to at least meet him. You must be so curious...you are, right? I would be. I wouldn't even care what that lady thought...I'd do it. Do it.

I personally would because I would always wonder about it. Maybe what could have been and what might be. I just think that it would be something that I would want to know about and things that I wonder about drive me crazy at times. If you are the kind of person that doesnt get too wound up about things though you might want to let it go. It just depends on you and how comfortable you are with not knowing.

Hi Jenin...I think you should definitely pursue this. You might not know until you try. If it turns out disappointing, at least in your heart, you know that you have tried your best, truly. Don't give up and look for him all the way. And do tell us the outcome of this, all the best to you, aite..

My feeling is that if she didn't reply, you should probably not pursue it, she probably doesn't want to be contacted.

I hope that it's not too late to respond on this topic. Who knows you may have already made up your mind, but I'd like to put my two cents in none the less. If I were you I would write a pros and cons list to calling. The woman may not have seen the email yet ( I know my email box gets really full fast!) or she may just be contemplating telling him. You could always go another route and try to find your brother's email address and contact him directly if he has an email address. I see it in two different ways, you could call and get blown up at it, or never call and later regret it!... Either way you may regret it, but never knowing would be a much bigger regret. It may be a bit... Strange to just call, and they may not even believe you, but if you can give them proof... then you may find yourself in contact with a whole other family that would love you, and who would be so happy to find you this Christmas Season.

Hey Jen, Never give up!! He must not know about you and maybe she is a little scared of connecting with you. Being an adoptive Mother myself, I understand the fears that some might have. I was never fearful myself and made sure that my Beautiful Son knew he was adopted from day 1. He's 29 now and knows that his Biological Mother is probably not far from him but as far as I know he hasn't met her yet. Matthew's Dad, my Ex, researched as much info about his Biological family history because we found out when Matt was 16 that he had Bipolar Disorder. Since then we have found out that she probably has Bipolardisorder as well. We knew that she had some kind of mental disorder, long story, but never knew what it was. So aside from the emotional needs there are also possible health reasons to re-unite. I can understand the fears you may have but never let your fears keep you from pursuing your dreams. The possibilities that lay ahead for you could change your life. Go for it sweetie, you have nothing to lose and so much to gain. You will be amazed at all the answers to questions you've always wondered about and questions you've never even thought about. Good luck and please keep us posted. Big Hugsss Leenie

Sorry about the late response. By now, you've probably taken some kind of action. I hope that whatever you decided to do that it all worked out for you, sweetie! Let me know! Purrs, Catwoman=^..^= & Mija

I would pursue it. True, you probably don't know as much as your mother would know about herself, but it would be a step into the bio-family for your brother and would be a piece of yourself for yourself.

This is actually a question only YOU can really answer. Do you feel it would answer questions or do something for you to do the pursuing? Do you think that the time spent in pursuit will be worth it in the end, whether anything comes of it or not? I know there are many questions to ask yourself, and in the end YOU are really the only one who can answer how important it is to you and the worth it is to you. Not much help, huh?? Good luck, Jen!!

me and my wife has different views about this. my response is since you liv your life already with out him them why should you now. i know it hurts that he has not responded but at least it is just a little hurt. my wife said that she thinks you should wait for a little longer.... and pursue to know your sibling. but she said that you should be careful not to be that giving. you need to know that person better first before giving anything about you. well i guess what my wife said was a great idea, as long as you will take care of yourself. yes he is your sibling but you dont know how he was brought up so just be careful.

GOOD MORNING & HAPPY HALLOWEEEN, I think u have made the first move that it's up to him now whether he contacts u. I hope he does if that's what u want.

I've just read one of your replies in which you say you've picked up the phone a hundred times and been unable to carry through with the call. That's what's probably happening on the other end as well! She's probably typed up the beginning of an email a million times, then decided she can't quite think of the right thing to say, and deleted it! I would phone. I can only imagine how nerve wracking it will be, but nothing ventured, nothing gained. It might be the case that just one of you has to gather the courage! I hope you get in touch hon. Good luck!

I live with my parents from the day I was born,to be raised on and support my parents.we will contiue live together.In china,vast maiority of family,children live with parents all the time.It didn't sound well,don't worry,you should go to pursue this,you and your brother will meet someday,and everything will be ok,it's worthy of waiting and giving,spending time to.Don't give up,wish you and your brother luck.