Watching a loved one die.

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A year and a half ago, I stood by my husband as he watched his 86 year old mother dying. He had a hard time visiting her in the hospital the last few days because it was so hard to watch her suffer. As I am writing this, my friend's father who is 91 is dying in the hospital. Yesterday he was lucid, but suffering. Today he is only semi conscious and in a lot of pain and they have started giving him morphine to make him more comfortable. The family has chosen to avoid "heroic" measures. Their father asked them to stop the treatments as they were making him worse instead of better. His wife, like my husband with his mother, has a hard time sitting with this man as he is dying. She says, "I hate to see him this way." As I watch him, I can recall clearly how it was when my mother in law died. It is so hard to see a person you love dying, especially when they have been strong and vital right up to the last few days when they became sick. Even yesterday this man was lucid, but today he is confused and drowsy as the doctors try to make him more comfortable. It is so hard to make the decision to stop the "heroic" measures, and I watched my husband and my friend's family go through this decision. It is hard, but after you take the decision, it is easy to see from the peace on the dying person's face that you have done what they asked. I'm so tired from the last few days. My friends must be way beyond tired as they spend every moment in the sitting room of the ICU, sitting, not really sleeping, waiting. This is the time, I suppose, when you pray for comfort and peace, because there is no hope of healing. I do believe God chooses the healing, even if the doctors try or stop trying. And God chooses the time of final rest. It's only in His hands.