Why are we congenial and good?

I know someone who treats his wife very poorly when they are alone but is terribly upset if she complains to anyone else about him because they may think badly of him and he will apologise to her just to make himself look like a better individual! To do good for another is to genuinely care and it has to come from the heart; doing it for any other reason is self indulgent and selfish, I think. I guess as long as people are doing good deeds it is a positive but I would rather see people truly care for one another.

mimipi that was good blabber,so there. I think it all depends on how we were brought up as to how we become what we are. I grew up among medical people who were dedicated to helping the sick. I was also taught it is better to give then receive also my mom showed me that if you do good you do not go around pounding your chest and asking for kudos ,you will be appreciated and that should be enough. I do not agree that the dogooders who do this just to get applause are all that great, as there is a lot of insincerity there and sort of a looking down your nose at the ones you do good for. I would much rather see someone do good because they wanted to.I have never much worried about what others think as much as about what I think of myself. Can I look at myself in the mirror and not be ashamed? If I can that is great.

I think it depends on the person. Ideally, it is so that the person you are being nice to gets some benefit. Of course, you'd also hope that you'd be treated nicely.

I think when people do something good just for personal gain it shows. People who are genuine and like to do good for others do not need to be praised and made a big deal out of. They do it because they want to and it's part of who they are. When I do something for someone I do not care if they know that it was me that did it or not. I am just happy that I put a smile on their face or that I could help them.

I dunno, it's a good feeling when you do something good and then see others do the same. I guess it's a pay it forward philosophy.

It's more towards what others will think of us or what the result of it will be.For example,have you ever met someone who is very religious or goes to church often yet don't practice what they preach?Like old ladies in church who sing the loudest yet are mean.If you're going to do something good it should be because YOU feel it is not society.Also "bad human of society" is just a perspective from the viewpoint of others.

It's driven from within us primarly and then societal influences play it's role. It starts from the our upbringing. The religious minded train thier children imbibing the fear of punishment in doing bad. At some stage we start to feel and distinguish ourselves between good and bad and then then the societal influences start. Some want the recognition of being called and the others on the other hand do not want to be called bad. Those who don't really care about what others think get in ways shunned from society. In a nutshell Mimpi, it's because we are and at the same time do get affected by what others think. Have i confused you more?

Hi Mimpi! Came back today and though some comments are pending this discussion attracted me. I think, some people are inherently soft spoken, kind at heart and have a lot of humane qualities. Broadly all people are good but those thta are really good, selfless and do not worry about reciprocity are quite rare.THere would be very few Mother THeresas and Mahatmas in this world. As you had rightly pointed out we all hesitate to speak our minds out on account of 'what others would think', at times and due to inherent sensitivity sometimes. Essentially, very sensitive soft spoken people would do this out of habit. Being congenial is a compulsory thing because it is part of our education and so called civilization.We hate it when other people are unpleasant to us.Simiarly, we have no right to be so.We also feel and say at times"why does she behave like an uncultured brute? This is not good classy behaviour"-[when we are hurt]THis is another reason why we are congenial. Sometimes , too much of this thought and societal pressure bog us down.Nowadays I bother less than before .You would soon reach that stage when you come across more unpleasant people.

Hi dear! It is nice to see you back on board after a pretty long absence. I think being congenial comes natural to most of us. I believe, if we are good at heart, it would reflect in our actions and efforts and we just cannot pretend to be good all the times. Also, I feel that we just cannot be good to others just to please them or what others might think about us. Being good to others gives us a kind of inner pleasure and satisfaction and we love doing it, irrespective of the fact what others might interpret about our actions. If a person is not good from the core, social pressure can affect him/her to behave properly for a temporary period. Have a great evening.

Hi Mimpi! Well, I just think it is common sense. Why would anyone want to go around bragging how bad they are? We should not be decent just in order to avoid shame, but because decency is...I cannot resist saying this...BETTER than badness. Because it is GOOD, lol.

I think it's in our nature to be good. Whether we are conscious of it or not, we do good "just cause". However, there are times when people do good for unknowingly selfish reasons. Some say they help others because they genuinely wish and want to care for others. But when you think of why do they continue to do so? It's because they feel good when they help others. So in that logic, people help others not just because they really want to help but because it makes them feel good and they like to feel that way everyday. It just comes back to the self. I do prefer those times wherein a complete stranger helps you in those split second situations. These times, one can say that the person acted impulsively good. He didnt stop to think if its the good/right thing to do, he just acted on it. Im not sure if Im making sense, but that is what I think about it.

I am so because it makes me feel like a good person. I like the way I feel when I do something nice or help someone out.

Part of the reason I don't like to go out and "socialize" is because of all that B.S. I want to just open up to people..but I'm a very quiet and personal individual. That's why the internet is such a great thing! You can get right down to the basics and say to someone, "Hey, I'm an Agnostic (or whatever) and here's why..". You can come out and say, I love Metallica! Or I hate [whatever]. People spend so much time small talking..without actually inviting that person to get a chance to actually know the REAL them. Also, if you go to something as trivial as a grocery store and don't reply with a courteous answer when the cashier says "thank you" or something, you're supposed to feel like sh*t. It's all on the surface..and it's as shallow as Paris hilton. When someone says, how's your day going? and other small talk, I want to ask if they'll let me sit down with them and talk about things that matter. I want to get to KNOW you if you're going to keep talking to me.?. Am I the only one who feels like this? It's all or nothing for me when it comes to people.

I think that the reason why "we" (as humans in general) are good and congenial is our importance of co-existing with one another. This is also what differentiates us from other living beings. Our superiority amongst other living beings comes from our ability to work with one another. In doing so, we are able to achieve great things such as being able to construct tall buildings, invent and innovate, successfully create an effective organization, etc. In life, I think, one of the most important aspects is to have order. Being congenial and good maintains such balance.

When people do good, do they do it just for the sake of it or for the good name and blessing that others would shower on him as a consequence of it? The beauty of being human is able to shift, either be in 'got state' or 'devil state'. Whatever, both states done by human with comment interests completely with self resolution and confident. Which results the differences in meanings between human and people. Am I confusing you? No and not at all, in fact, a great new point and a kind of nature nurture learning for all to mirror ourselves for which zone of life for an individual to select. What makes us congenial? System, a life system when both behemoth or enormous energy runs in both different parties. Making the definition of we be us and us be all. Is it because we are just so or are we affected with what others going to think, if we are not? Caring by tantamount supports of telling and sharing values between both parties by means of consensus decision making is a great human team building and will never split. Finally, a life a system.