Do you think a baby remembers at some level?
By TheRealDawn
@dawnald (85146)
Shingle Springs, California
November 5, 2009 2:14pm CST
Or is this just a bunch of foolishness?
Let me explain. I was a difficult child. I don't mean deliberately contrary, though I'm sure I had my moments. But I was a very colicky baby for the first 8 months of my life. At 8 months, I went from rolling to running and climbing. I was into everything. At 15 months I was speaking in sentences, which no doubt involved a fair amount of talking back. By age 5, if not earlier, I was pretty mouthy. I did things with scissors and I don't know what all kind of mischief I got into. The baby sitters all hated me. And my parents had three more children all in the space of less then 5 years.
It occurred to me that the reason I tend to make peace and smooth things over and avoid conflicts is simply that I am afraid of anger. Why am I afraid of anger? I think it's because a lot of the attention that I got from my parents when I was little was anger. I am now learning better how to deal with that.
But what I wonder is whether there was a lot of parental anger directed at me when I was really little, too little to remember. Do you think a baby or a toddler remembers things like that at some level? Or is that just a bunch of foolishness and I should go take a walk and have a brownie? 
6 people like this
16 responses
@thea09 (18305)
• Greece
5 Nov 09
Hi Dawn, babies who aren't hugged and kissed and are deprived of attention in the first year of their lives never develop in the normal social areas properly as they didn't learn it automatically.
If it worked on you the way you think it would be expected that your husband would be an angry type and that that is what you would have expected out of life, the same scenrio as beaten way always going for the same kind of guys who will treat them badly. Basically if you were brought up in anger my analysis would be that you would have low self esteem and see nothing abnormal about others still treating you with anger.
I could be way off base of course as it should be said my actual knowledge on this is based on others as I've never been around angry people of men who have treated me badly, but then I wouldn't be because part of that is expecting to be treated like that. Most of what I know is from the perspective of the criminal mind.
2 people like this
NO!
do elaborate, please?
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
5 Nov 09
I do think that babie and toddlers remember some of what they
went through as little ones. I know I have always hated confrontations where people screamed and yelled at each other
from the time that I could remember back about three. I
think my parents were having some sort of marital problems
and I bore the brunt of it.I learned to talk and walk eary according to my mom, and read before ever I went to school
and was horribly shy.I learned to write before I even entered
school too.
2 people like this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
9 Nov 09
I think that people do remember at some level things from their childhood. They may not remember exactly but they are definitely changed if not drastically then a little because of these actions. I think that children are smart in the womb, but need to learn things whilst in the real world...
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@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
9 Nov 09
I pick up all these strange words from somewhere. I guess on here mostly, but I've said whilst a lot in the past before coming to mylot. Though on a related note, back in high school a friend though I was from England because of the way I talked sometimes!
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
10 Nov 09
Somebody once asked me if I was from the South. My mother was, but I sure didn't know I had anything resembling a southern accent!
@rocketj1 (6955)
• United States
5 Nov 09
Oh, I believe that our early days can have a big impact on us! There are babies who suffer in orphanages from having very little attention and I think that conversely the same must also be true. Purely my own theory. Haven't studied it or anything. It just seems like it makes logical sense.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
5 Nov 09
Oh well the intelligent thing is clearly true. lol
@rocketj1 (6955)
• United States
5 Nov 09
The first response above mine mentioned babies being more colicky when bre*st fed vs. bottle. Not sure about that. My nephew was extremely colicky and exclusively bre*st fed. But I did hear a study that said that colicky babies may be more sensitive to stimulus around them. They tend to grow up to be extremely intelligent individuals. This is very true for my nephew who is brilliant!
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (160998)
• United States
6 Nov 09
You can take the walk and have the brownie, and I might add if you walk over here you can have fudge. I do not think this is foolishness, and I actually knew someone who believed that children has some vestiges of memory from when they were in the womb as well. She was a masters or phd in something or other and dealt with adoptive families. She, herself was an adoptive parent and had, after gaining her degree, worked in counseling members of adoptive families. Some of the stories she told were very convincing. I think we remember many things in a non verbal mode, because we do remember them but it is from a time before we had the ability to speak.
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
6 Nov 09
I just took the walk. lol
I think I'm going to go do some reading on the subject!
@scarlet_woman (23463)
• United States
6 Nov 09
i'm positive some do just from my experience.
i had a dream when i was in my crib of it being surrounded by flames (why an infant would or could dream of that,i don't know)-so of course i shrieked my tiny head off.
of course being comforted by my folks.
i mentioned it to my dad years later when i could speak and he was all "is THAT what you were yelling about?" he remembered it.
he said i was only like 11 months old,but i still remember it today.
i asked them if there had ever been a fire in the house,but they said no..
1 person likes this
@zed_k4 (17589)
• Singapore
6 Nov 09
Dawn, here's what I think.
A baby chooses to remember whichever memories he/she chooses to. Something like a selective memory. Don't know; that's what I think. I could remember when I was a baby-toddler days, people carrying me, cuddling and kissing me. Yucks! LOL..but I remember that. And mostly, I remember lots of running around and then, me bullying others too. Happy ones, I'd prefer to remember those.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
6 Nov 09
I'd prefer to remember happy things too. And I do. But I wonder how much the unhappy things affect a person's behavior and reactions later.
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
5 Nov 09
Oh dear! Yes, all of this stuff can surface with us at some time of our lives. For me it happened at Menopause when I had vivid dreams and flash backs to things that I was so certain did not happen. But they did. This was verified by my sisters. My Dr. said that to go on to the next stage of life we sometimes have to come to grips with what had happened in the first stage, as it were.
I took crap from many people all of my life (look at my story with the horse!) and my life would have been so much easier if I was not a doormat most of my life. I had no self worth. The influences and things we experienced do come back to haunt us. At lest I was haunted for some years.
Okay, now take a walk and munch on a brownie and especially reflect on what I did NOT say.
1 person likes this
@oXAquaXo (607)
• United States
6 Nov 09
I know I did. I could read at a little over one years old, so I was always talking and arguing with my grandparents. I spoke to them in full sentences at that time, so people always turned around and stared at me. And I remember a lot of things that happened when I was that little. I still remember when I was one, I accidentally swallowed a fishbone and it got stuck in my throat(good times). I remember being scared on the plane when I was two, and crying at night because I wanted to hear my dad's voice. I believe children always will remember things like this, and if not, impressions.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
6 Nov 09
One year? Amazing! Have you discovered a cure for cancer yet? 
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
6 Nov 09
I think that children do remember the things that happen to them when they are babies to some extent and I do think a lot of that, whether they consciously know that they remember it or rather it is subconscious memory does have a lot of impact on the person that you are going to become.
The best example that I can think of is in my daughter, she's almost seven years old now. She is the most caring and agreeable child that I've ever met in my life. I think a lot of that is due to the fact that she was doted on so much when she was a baby. Her grandparents loved her more than anything from the day that she was born and had such a great level of concern for her. Now, on the other hand, my son is the opposite in a sense because my in-laws never took to him the way that they did my daughter.
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@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
6 Nov 09
It's so unfair when grandparents don't treat the grandchildren the same way. Even if they had more of an emotional attachment to your daughter, they should have treated your son the same way.
@jesseverette (111)
• Philippines
7 Nov 09
hi there,
I think, children do remember. As for me, i do remeber a lot of things, sometimes i think it's de javu but i think it has somethinmg to do with what was registered in the child's memory during her childhood.
1 person likes this
@mrfdg1972 (3237)
• Philippines
6 Nov 09
I can not remember my past as a Baby, as much as i recall i can only see myself like when i was around 4 or 5 years old, I was spank my by father when i played with my birthday cake, and my Mom was having intense arguments with Dad, thats all there is. I am 37 years old now and that happened 22 years ago.
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@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
6 Nov 09
I had a bad experience on a birthday too. Got put in the corner for an hour...
@mrfdg1972 (3237)
• Philippines
6 Nov 09
yeh it is so stuck up in my memory i cant get it off, some kind of a childhood trauma i presume.
1 person likes this
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
5 Nov 09
I would eat the brownie first then take a walk......as far as the babies are concerned I think they could remember something like that....a feeling...because how else would they know so much at such a young age? I have a grandson that wasn't wanted by his mother (my daughter married someone with custody of his kids but they are still my grandkids!)...he has known for as long as my daughter has known him that his mother never wanted him....if you ask him...he'll tell you that he has known that fact forever...
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@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
5 Nov 09
I would too if I HAD a brownie.
I"m sure babies are affected some way or the other even if they don't consciously remember.
I"m sure babies are affected some way or the other even if they don't consciously remember.
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
6 Nov 09
I doubt that you can actually remember anything that happened as a baby, but babies that age are already developing their personality, and the way their parents treat them does have a bit to do with the child's personality. For instance, my older 3 kids are pretty well behaved and don't cause too much trouble because I was strict and set in my ways and put my foot down a lot. My little 2 get away with a lot more. I'm too relaxed with them... so they've turned into little monsters! They're stubborn, hard headed, and will throw fits to get whatever they want.
So their personalities are being created by their environment and how they're being treated by the rest of the family.
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@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
6 Nov 09
I'm sure your experiences as a baby affect you at some level. Your brain is developing and how can it not affect you when you're mistreated or when you're totally loved or whatever.
