I don't like to be compared to anyone else
By ayebelle
@ayebelle (367)
Philippines
7 responses
@joshualu5 (93)
• China
10 Nov 09
All asian parents do that all the time. it's normal. they just want to to get better, and usually when you do get better, they will just compare you with a even better person to get you even betterer.
@joshualu5 (93)
• China
10 Nov 09
it's not the race... it's the culture. in Western society, it is strongly discouraged to "compare" people with other people. everyone are different, so you cant just compare people. however, in Asian family (like my family), parents just want their kids to get better. comparing kids with other people is just one of the ways.
i used to get compared to my sister everyday too, and i know it's very painful. and i guess ur mom only compare the parts where ur sister is better than u. or like when shes studying, ur mom will tell u to study. But when she's playing and YOU try to compare and say that u want to play too, ur mom will say no. this is the way with a lot of Asian families
@samson1967 (7414)
• India
10 Nov 09
If they compare you to a celebreties like jennifer lopez, of Miss Ex universe Aishwarya Rai, or to the fame personalities do you like it, Yes I know you will like it. why dont you like when you are compared to your sister, both of you are two flowers from the same plant, isnt???
@Zhizho (1350)
• Indonesia
10 Nov 09
Hi..I know how is your feel.No body like to be compare,especially by our mom.I suggest you that just tell your mom with good attitude,explain about your feeling.Sometimes,Mom does not mean to hurt you,maybe she forget that it will make you hurt.I ever felt it but now when I be a mom.I know it's not good habit but I try to understand.
@getbrowser (1708)
• China
10 Nov 09
When I was very young, my mother often did that too.
In my country, people often say that "Comparisons are odious.". That is to say, if you are compared with others, then you may get angry easily. Every time, when I failed in the exam, then my mother may tend to compare me to my cousin. Usually, she said like this: You see, your cousin could gain a good goal all the time, but for you, it seems that you have to face the failure all the time.
As you have said above, we are all unique and we are just ourselves. Every time when I meet such a situation, my heart hurts badly.
As you have said above, we are all unique and we are just ourselves. Every time when I meet such a situation, my heart hurts badly.
@redthaidevil (1047)
• Thailand
11 Nov 09
Well, my mother will always compare me to other people, but I'm sure she has her own way in thinking that way. Also I trust your mum is just trying to motivate you so you can fulfill your potential as it is their job as a parent to try to support you as much as they can.
@tokouchi (370)
• Philippines
10 Nov 09
It's all a matter of how you see it. If you think you're better, no need for words, just prove it. They'll eventually stop comparing you (or find someone else to compare you to). It's like a challenge. At the end of the day, your parents still love you and wants whats best for you (generally). I have and I still am experiencing such but It doesn't really bother me. If they say someone's better than you, prove them wrong! That's the only way to deal with it.
@calmingblue (103)
• China
10 Nov 09
Yeah i have the same feeling to yours. I hate my parents compare me with others very much. But my parents alway say how wise someone is inside me, they like to speak other's achievements.
Though they just want me to turn better, i feel very sad. I'm a human, even though i'm not the best one, i'm the only one in the world. I have my life, but need't living like others. They are themselves, but i just am myself.
