what if a colleague bad-mouth you in the office?
By xiaotong
@xiaotong (33)
China
November 11, 2009 11:09pm CST
we work in a big office, 12 of us in total. there is somebody who always dislikes me. we are not the same kind person.
i am not an active person, sometimes look quiet and slower in action. also slow in thinking of questions. i am not troublesome, i seldom disturb or offend others. i am always polite to everyone. i think everyone has his own character. i am myself, i am not in your way by any means. why do you hate me just because of my nature?
she spoke out her disgust in the office in face of me. she said in a strong tone that she hated woman with a sad face and slow action. afterwards, she pointed out that only me in the office was of the "mild" nature. i quite understand what she meant. yeah, i am mild, i even don't know how to talk back.
i don't know what to do to change situation.
3 responses
@shell2784 (752)
• United States
12 Nov 09
#1 - 12 people isn't that large of an office... but its enough people to have differences. Hell, you only need 2 people to have differences.
#2 - I could give two sh!ts if my colleagues bad mouthed me at the office. I am there to do my job and get my paycheck to support my family.
It doesn't matter what your demeanor - in an office setting you're going to have problems. Who cares what she says!! She's probably some snoody b who hasn't gotten laid in awhile.
If she doesn't sign your paychecks or your time card... forget about it. lol
@shell2784 (752)
• United States
12 Nov 09
Yeah - just keep your head up! Girls will be girls and unfortunatly we're b*tches. lol Don't take it personally :)
Like I said, you're there to do your job and collect your paycheck - if you make friends in the meantime that's great, and if not, oh well.
Take care and good luck!
@paleorainy (630)
• Italy
12 Nov 09
In my office we're 25 and there's a lot of backtalking, I also keep a very low profile, but in the years I found out the gossip and backtalking can be really used to your favor.
Sometimes you can create a gossip on you that goes to your own profit, like when a boss mobbed me, I 'confidentially' told a particular person because...I knew she'd talk to another one I don't have access to, and that other one will spread the news all over the office...so in a while who mobbed me would be known everywhere. So it happened.
Another time I wanted to skip a meeting but really it wasn't one I can skip. So...I told one particular person that 'omg, poor me, I have to skip the meeting because I've to take my dad to a medical visit...'...I knew that person would tell that out, it was just enough to put it like I was sorry, and there you go, excused and protected! I think the gossuping and backtalking in the offices can be used to your own profit as soon as you understand how the gossip flows, who are the key people and what kind of info they prefer...then you drive it!!
@jaysumalnap (236)
• Philippines
12 Nov 09
Well, you don't have to do anything. As long as you think you are doing the right thing then the problem is not with you but with them. So why bother thinking what to do if the problem is not with you. But then again, learn how to defend yourself when you are being tread on.
