My mom turned 83 on 11/11/09 ...
@casarivasplata (52)
United States
November 12, 2009 10:14pm CST
Check it out! My dad died in 1997 and my mom is a dynamo! Lover her to death! But her bday is 11/11. Every year for the past few years, we've had parties at her house, surprise parties at restaurants, whatever.
This year, mom decided that she didn't wanna deal with anyone and do anything. Of course, MY sister (her daughter) and one of my aunts wanted to celebrate. My mom spoke with me and she didn't wanna do anything so she asked me for help getting out of town.
Ofcourse I helped her, checked priced for train/bus tickets and ended up booking her on a bus with one of her sisters & a cousin to Reno from SFBay Area, etc.
I think - Leave her alone! She's old (and spunky) but she's Grandma, popular and always the matriarch of the family. I think she needs a rest. I'm her youngest of 4 kids (42 y/o) but always organizing, planning, popular, etc. I know I get tired of dealing with people. She must be ... just like me but 40 yrs older!
If she doesn't wanna party on her 83rd bday, leave her alone ... right?!
I knew exactly where she went - with whom, where, what time, check-in/check-out, return trip, etc. But I thought I needed to give her the privacy & rest. Was I right? I'm getting flack from family members because she's getting old and "she needs it."
I'm confused!
4 responses
@lelin1123 (15595)
• Puerto Rico
13 Nov 09
At 83 she deserves to do what she wants to do on her birthday. I think when I get to that age I'm going to want the same thing. Just let me be alone. I'm 52 and I don't like celebrating my birthday. Its mainly because I don't like to be the center of attention. Its just not me. Your family will get over it. You did what she wanted you to do. So I wouldn't waste time with what others are saying.
@casarivasplata (52)
• United States
21 Nov 09
I think you were the only one who hit the nail on the head. She's VERY active and I think she's just tired. I get that way sometimes too - just want to hole myself up, turn off the phone, lock the door and read or work on a craft project. It's very relaxing. I know many older folks don't necessarily get a lot of attention or socialization but not her. She was out of town for a wedding the weekend before her birthday and was trying to wind down from that. I think that's why she called me to help her.
The closest transport place was a train/bus platform 5 minutes from her house. Train had a transfer, bus did not. I got her 3 Greyhound tickets (so she wouldn't have to drive 4 hours each way) & 2 nights hotel out of town. Other than those who went with her, the only people who really knew where she headed was me and oldest my nephew to where I emailed her ticket. I think he took her to the bus station.
Somehow my sister found out. I think she pressured my nephew or his dad into telling her. Then she started telling everyone to call mom's cousin's cell phone since she was with her. I thought it was pretty inconsiderate.
There's one in every family, huh?! Thank you for your response. I almost bent to the pressure.
@lelin1123 (15595)
• Puerto Rico
21 Nov 09
Thank you so much for the best response mark. Have a great weekend and I hope there is peace in the family now.
@Tuanshun (138)
• China
13 Nov 09
i think she just doesnt want to bother all of you, or maybe she wants to have a special birthday! And you should know more about what she's thinking about? Then arrange a special birthday party or something. The old need the most attention, right? Think about ourselves when we are old!
@pradeeptheone (49)
• India
13 Nov 09
I feel like at time time she need some happiness not loneliness because its the time she had to be happy all the time never to think of the past,if everyone is with her she might be feeling happy rather than being alone somewhere with someone.......
