parents choosing the friends of their kids

My parents did not choose my friends. They did advise me accordingly but they let me make decisions myself on the basis of what I thought of the person. They would always say, you know what's good for you and you know what isn't. If someone is doing something bad, you should know better than to follow them. Otherwise, face the consequences. I am not a parent but I can speak from a child's point of view. However, in the event that I do have a child, I would not teach him or her to discriminate against others based on class or the standard of living of a person. I would teach my child to identify what characters he/she should associate with on the basis of whether or not the "friend" is indeed a good influence. Not all kids who go to fancy schools are great. In fact, a lot of kids who have a silver spoon handed to them at birth can be snooty themselves and they can also be quite arrogant given that their attitudes towards others can be the result of hand-me-down prejudices. Sometimes, the poor, dirty kid around the block with a bad mother happens to be nicer than the rich kid living in a fancy mansion. I wouldn't let my kid play around the block if the neighborhood isn't safe but I wouldn't teach him/her to discriminate against social class. Again, I would instill that it doesn't matter if you're rich or poor. What should matter is who and what you are on the inside.

Its really hard sometimes to decide if you want to choose the friends that your children would have or just let them discover who are good friends from not so good ones. Friends certainly influence each other. There is also a factor to consider however, wherein the influence of the parents is much more stronger than that of the friends could ever have. Of course, children should at least experience playing games with other children. Eventually, they would either grow apart from each other or keep in touch as real friends would do. That's just my idea though. (^_^ )

I totally agree with you. I think that friends with whom our kids are playing in their childhood have huge impact on their future. That's why parents should check out the friends of their kids. Also, think about valuable connections that your kid will have in the future.

I don't know....I never picked my kids friends for them. There were a few certain homes that they were not allowed to hang out or at least spend the night at all. That was if I knew things were going on that kids shouldn't be around. Still the kids were always welcome in our home. I had 4 kids and through all their friendships there was only one kid that I absolutely put my foot down and did not want in my home or near my family.

I don't see anything wrong with parents protecting thier children from negative influences because kids pick a lot of bad habits from thier peers. The only thing is to do it rightly and let your children know you are trying to protect them