Long Distance Relationships - Yay or Nay?
@TickleMeBreathless (590)
United States
November 14, 2009 11:12pm CST
We've all heard of long distance relationships, or known someone who has been in one. For me, that would be myself. I have been with my boyfriend for three years, and during this relationship we've only spent half of it in the same state. We met online, and eventually he moved in with me. Then he had to leave, and eight months later he returned. Then he left again, for school, and recently returned again after nine months. We're close in a lot of ways, but in others we are worlds apart. We've had our fair share of arguments and lack of trust.
My question is - what do you think of long distance relationships? Do you believe they can work or are they all doomed to fail? Have you known someone in a long distance relationship, or have you been? How do you believe it effects the two people involved?
1 person likes this
13 responses
@rg0205 (2636)
• Hong Kong
16 Nov 09
I've been in a long distance relationship and what we did was we moved to be together. It obviously worked out because we're still together. I think long distance relationships can work as long as you have a strong foundation and both parties are willing to work on it. It is harder but as long as you're willing to sacrifice, you both will pull through it.
1 person likes this
@TickleMeBreathless (590)
• United States
16 Nov 09
Thank you for your comment! I fully agree - long distance relationships take sacrifice and strength. I'm glad your relationship is working out! It makes me happy to know that those kind of situations can work out.
@MJay101 (710)
•
16 Nov 09
I think permanent long-distance relationships are incredibly difficult to sustain. However, I think that it's definitely possible for a long-distance relationship to lead to a 'normal' relationship - hey, it happened to me!
When I first met my partner, I had to get on a train and travel for six hours to be with her. (Does that count as long-distance, I wonder?) But we kept doing it... We stayed in contact using, e-mail, MSN, phone conversations - anything to bring us closer when we were geographically distant - and then, after just a few months, I moved house to live in the same town.
Now we share a house. 'Long-distance' has become a distant memory!
Stick at it: if the spark is there, distance is no barrier to a relationship!
1 person likes this
@starsailover (7829)
• Mexico
16 Nov 09
Hi MJay: it's nice to know about a case that can explain us how love can survive no matter if everything seems difficult for the relation. If there's love, there's hope and we know we have something to fight for and that, even if it's a very difficult challenge, real love survive after all. Thanks for sharing with us your story. Thanks for your answer. Hope your relationship keeps growing up. Have a nice day.
1 person likes this
@TickleMeBreathless (590)
• United States
16 Nov 09
That's similar to me and my boyfriend! He had to take a two day bus trip to get to where I'm at. And that was usually only a week long stay. He finally lives with me now too! I'm glad it worked out with you and your girlfriend!
1 person likes this
@starsailover (7829)
• Mexico
16 Nov 09
Hi tickle me breathless: i think we can't never make a judgement so general to say "these type of relations NEVER WORK". In popular culture, people say these relationships don't work because it's difficult to keep your feelings for a person you don't see personal and second: because there's always the risk of infidelity.
Despite of this i think that a mature couple can love each other no matter the distance. Even with that, i hope you and you're partner will be together soon. Thanks for your post. Have a nice day.
@TickleMeBreathless (590)
• United States
16 Nov 09
Thank you for posting! And I agree [I'm agreeing with a lot of people who post here!] that mature couples will most likely be the ones who will have working relationships.
@jewels49 (1776)
• United States
16 Nov 09
I don't know if this qualifies in the way everyone else does,because we share an address, but for the last 14 years my husband has worked a job that keeps him away from home as many as 280 days a year. Usually anywhere from 3 to 8 weeks at a time. He leaves for Trinidad this week and will probably be gone until Christmas.
We make it work. It gets hard at times and he misses alot of stuff the kids have going on, but as someone else said, modern technology is great at filling the void.
Trust has to be a given and neither party can forget that the other one is going through the same thing.
@TickleMeBreathless (590)
• United States
16 Nov 09
I'm sorry to hear that! But at least he's there some of the time, and hopefully like you said, he can see more of what the kids are doing through technology. I agree with the trust issue, as well as the fact that you have to understand you aren't the only one hurting.
@iamrooby (10)
• China
15 Nov 09
As far as I am concerned, I saw so many lovers broke up in the end because they can't stay with each other.So I think distance is a important for the two person. For example, you and your boyfriend quarreled some day. At this time, I think even no a word, just a hug, a kiss, eye contact would have more power than the endless soft words by phone if you haven't hand up.
But nothing is absolute. Nobody dare to say the lovers doom to fail because of the long distance. As long as you have a Attic faith and love each other, distance is not a big deal.I wish you have a good ending :)
iamrooby
msn:qiqigood@msn.com
@TickleMeBreathless (590)
• United States
15 Nov 09
Thank you! We plan on getting married someday, but now we are both still too young. I am 18 and he is 20, so we have a long way to go before we decide on that. And I agree with you - over the phone I can stay angry for a long time, but when he's here to give me a hug it's like all my anger melts away. We have made it to three years, so I hope whatever comes our way we'll make it through that too.
@TickleMeBreathless (590)
• United States
16 Nov 09
Thank you for your opinion, but may I ask what is the difference between a regular long distance relationship, and having one of those people serving overseas? Isn't the sacrifice the same no matter the circumstances?
@MrNiceGuy (4141)
• United States
16 Nov 09
I've always thought they were a pretty bad idea. But I did end up getting into one for a while. It went ok even though we were 5 hours apart, but in the end it didn't end up working out. I think long distance relationships are a horrible idea. I just dont think its either natural or conducive to a healthy relationship. I've seen way too many fail to think of doing it again.
@ronnyb (6113)
• Jamaica
17 Nov 09
Like you mentioned the issue is really trust ,if you really trust and love the person an know the person loves you back ,then it can work.Personally I have been in two such long distance relationship and both didnt work .The first one didnt work because I didnt trust the person and wasnt sure the person was committed and the second one didnt work because taht perosn really didnt love me and preffered to stay with her current boyfriend.
INSPITE OF THE FACT THAT IT DIDNT WORK FOR ME i WOULD BE WILLING TO TRY IT ANOTHER TIME IF I CAN MEET SOMEOEN WHO IS EQUALLY COMMITTED
@babyania (161)
• Philippines
15 Nov 09
i haven't been in a long distance relationship.
i think long distance relationship is the best way to prove if you really love your partner. because if you really do, you will patiently wait for him and faithfully love him.^^,
it depends whether that long distance relationship will work out or not. if the couple aren't loyal and don't have trust for each other, then obviously it won't.
for me, Love isn't true if it cannot handle a long distance relationship. couples shouldn't just love one another if they're together, but also when they are separated. they should be ready for whatever changes in their life will come.
@TickleMeBreathless (590)
• United States
15 Nov 09
It's true - I loved him while he was far away, and I still love him now that he's closer to me. And I love him more and more every time he comes to visit. I just wait for the day he will come to see me and not have to leave again. We've had a lot of hard times and I can honestly say being long distance has prepared me for most of the hard times we have in person.
@yan_blue8 (1437)
• Philippines
17 Nov 09
Me myself have been in this relationship. Not once, but twice! And for me, it doesn't work.
My 2 ex's and i have been together for over 2 year but we don't see much of each other often so its really hard. Though we missed each other everyday, and would love to caress, or show how much we love each other in physical way, we can't do something about it. We rarely see. Usually once every 3 months only. At first, I think it was working but realized later that it was not anymore. You will know. Something is missing. Long distance relationship for me only works if you are married already.
@CathyLee2009 (429)
• China
15 Nov 09
hi,tickemebreathless!
actually,I was in a long distance relationship for a long time.it was so painful.of course there were sweet meeting togethers,but at most of the time,painful.
there is a saying that"Distance adds beauty to a relationship."sometimes it is.while distance brings a lot of problems,like misunderstandings,suspicion,arguements.but the worst is missing the other.that's why I felt painful.
when two are just be boyfriend and girlfriend,I blieve they can conquer long distance if only they love each other genuinely.but as for marriage,I don't think it's easy to handle it well in a long distance.so...
have a nice day!
@happy2512 (1266)
• Philippines
16 Nov 09
I have been in that relationship before we are worlds apart in a lot of ways but that doesn't affect our relationship if I was given a chance I find it better in that relationship because for me that is how I find my partner if he is faithful & honest to me & our relationship. Frankly speaking I know what is my status in his life & I trusted him in many ways so there's no reason for me to doubt in anything. I love him & he loves me.
