what do i do if i have fallen in love with a married man?

Yes I think it isn't impossible to fall for someone who is married BUT, falling for him is so much different from WANTING TO BE WITH HIM. I can like and love who ever I want but I know I can't always have them. Like you said, it is hard to control yourself from falling but for me, it doesn't necessarily mean that you should go on and nurture that feeling. It depends so much on your values also. If you love and value yourself and your morals, once you feel that you have somewhat fallen to a married guy, then you already know that the right thing to do is to extinguish that feeling... One thing is by distancing yourself from him. There's too much risk involved in such situation. No matter if you end up with the guy or not, you'll really be in trouble. Who can afford hurting innocent people just to be happy for herself/himself?? i personally can't afford to ruin a family. Even if I get the guy, I would still live in hell since I know I had ruined a relationship and a family. I am sure I wouldn't be happy in that situation. Plus, there are tons of other guys out there I can admire and eventually love without having to deal with as much trouble. If I like a guy and I know that he is already attached (to wife or gf), it's not hard for me to stop myself from further falling for him. I am actually just doing myself a favor since I know that I will most likely be the one on the losing end. Even if the guy is in love with me as well, I would actually be the one to really cut everything off. i wouldn't wanna be with someone who is able to drop all his responsibilities just for a girl. If he can do it to his wife, then it wouldn't be hard for him to drop a random girl like me.

Being old and have been there. most people don't really want advise or won't heed it unless it reinforces what they really want to hear! But if I were you since this play has been played so many times with the same outcome! I'd get as much money from him and bank it for the future you will never have with him, and even if his marriage breaks up and you come out the winner, he'll do the same to you! You will be the loser no matter how this turns out! tdemex

no matter how genuine your love for him it's still useless because he's married. you both have to deal with the laws and when you both overcome it then that's the time when you're free to exposed your love for him.

That's easy, but definitely hard to do - fall out of love. Don't think about how or why you're loving him/her. Instead, you have to dig this into your mind - think about the lives you'd ruin; think about the how you'd be seen and thought of by your peers and people around you. If this doesn't help you in doing the righteous thing, I'm sorry to say, no one can help.

Women know that falling in love with a married man is wrong, for in so doing the man may reciprocate the love shown him and thus he becomes unfaithful to his wife. Such infidelity may lead to the neglect to his family and later on to break-up. One mistake leads to another. And the root cause of all this is falling in love with a married man. An unmarried woman should look after an unmarried man.

That is why love is blind. Love does not discriminate, and your heart won't listen to your head about who you can love or can't love (that's why I like to say that the heart is deaf). I can't say whether I will fall into this situation or not because I don't know for sure, but I will definitely do what I can to prevent it. If I ever did end up facing it, I would just continue to deal with it because I wouldn't want to break up a marriage by confessing or do any of that. It may hurt but I understand that I'll get over it at one point or another and that I'll find someone better out there that's single.

Hi, I don't like that, it's really horrible, I know love is hard to control, if you know someone has married, the emotion is really hard to control, and we all know this is bad, he has a family, and he can't give a promise, and you have to think your own future, a future without him. You deserve your own family. A happy one.

perhaps, the guy is treating good that is why you admire him so much that resulted to fall in love with him...The best you do is to get away from that fool feelings that you have today. Because you put yourself in trouble at the end of the day. The guy is married and not suitable for you to fall in love with him. Just think a thousand times for what you feel about, my friend...Have a nice day!

Unfortunately, we can not choose who we will fall in love with. If the one you love is committed somewhere else, the chances of your relationship blossoming become slim.

Well i cannot give you an advice cause it is you, but you know i think you already know what is right and what is wrong, think of the consequences first before making a decision, do you know how to do the right things right? and of course What it you are in the position of the family of that person, will you feel hurt? or Not? What do you think is the best decision to made?

its simple make her happy and enjoy

LOL!!! You put a big smile on my face. I've through that situation before in fairness to my self at first I don't have any idea that he is married it was only 3 mos after that I knew about it.I am having a hard time giving up the relationship everytime I planned to he always convince me of not to give it up until one time I run away & only my family knew about my whereabouts so I am happy that I did it atleast I already have a peace of mind. But I do regret it for I am the reason of a broken family

You won't give anything from it girl. I advised you to search for someone whom not committed to anyone else. Analyze the situation and relate it to your mom and dad. What if your dad have someone else rather than your mom? How would you react? It's much hurting in your part similar things with your lover's family. They would hate you the way you hate her. In any ways, you ended up losing and people might dislike you for loving a married man. I know love doesn't work with a stranger but tried to figure out if you can still escape with that love or else you might be forever secret lover. And it wouldn't give you much opportunity since the feedback of everyone is very negative just because you are linking yourself to a married man. Wake up and fix yourself. Go on dating and love someone who destined for you and only for you.

Ha ha .. Tis is really an interesting topic to discuss...!! I really donot know form which country you are ? But in india, it is a type of crime when it comes into limelight. People here strictly follow and strictly believe love as a feeeling, a sign of bonding between a man and women and there is no point of seeking or throwing it to someone who has got married. May it be the male or female. People belive it to be incriminating and disgusting on finding such relationships.

It is true that you cannot control what the heart tells you. I will add to that though. You need to look at the reason that you have gotten so close to this man. Where was his wife while you are falling in love. I know that may sound a litte on the harsh side but honey if he out with you and you make a relationship out of it then how do you know that he wont do the same to you..Let him leave his wife and get a divorce and then if he shows back up then maybe then you can follow your heart. Have a nice day and keep smiling.

If I ever fell in love with a married man I would never pursue it. At my work there was this guy who pursued me for a long time, after awhile I started to have feelings for him, luckily for me I found out he had a girlfriend of five years before I went on to do anything. He eventually married her and still kept pursuing me. Even though I liked him I wasn't about to be "the other woman". Also even though I didn't know the girl I didn't want to be the cause of any pain for her. Not to mention what a struggle I would imagine it would be to be with a married man, aside from the guilt and heartache but the lying and sneaking around. Too much hassle for me!

Hi smallcloud, I have the same situation as you that my boy friend is married. We've been together for almost 8 years. It is really hard to maintain such relationship. I can't let my parents know about this because they will not allow it. I try to get rid of this relationship but I can't. If you ask me that I do love him that much? My answer is 'not sure'. But everytime I want to run away from him, he begs me not to leave him then I go back to him again. If you really feel regret but you really can't leave him, maybe you can't give some more time to let him stay with his family. It is hard for yourself and even me but at least you can forgive yourself a bit.

"When you'll make a decision, choose things which you'll have peace of mind and not the one that only makes you happy" Well, I've heard that quote from one of my favorite talk show host... And that is quite effective. If you want to be really happy then learn how to appreciate the happiness of the other people... and not to take it away from them. I believe that the person who meant for you is already designed by God. But ofcourse He gave it to you with a puzzle. In order for someone to win in a puzzle game, he/she must use his/her mind to find out the "correct" answer. I think, you're old enough to know what is right... No matter how it hurts, just do it. Put God in everything you do :)

You have got really to think it through. Think about the married man's wife. Or if he has children. My friend refuses to talk to his dad after he had an affair 7 years ago. If you do fall in love with a married man, the best thing to do is to find a distraction until the feeling goes. End it before it starts.

I would hope that if I found myself falling in love with a married man, I would try if at all possible to remove myself from the place where I would see him. That would be very difficult if it were a work location. I know I would feel very guilty about hurting his wife and possibly children. I would definately not let it get anywhere near a physical relationship.