death of a loved one

i had this terrible experience before, that day i answered the call from home , told me my step father had heart attack ,fell down on the street, now is at intensive care dept. in hopsital...i rushed to the hopsital with my new born baby ,it seemed take so long to arrive, on the way to hopsital, i received my sister call, said step father is now at level 7... at thought: oh thanks god, he is fine....i can see him soon... but when i arrived level 7, after the lift door opened, i saw everyone was in a sad face, within a second, my sister told me: he's gone!! couldnt think of one single word to say, i just handle my baby to my sister, then i walked slowly to his bed, his body was cold....i talked to him for a while, then i got to leave the bed, cos the nurses had to push him away, they were just waiting for me to come and say goodbye to him... we usually talked on phone (ath home) everyday, i was going to give him a call in that morning to say hi, owing to my new born had a cold, i took her to see doctor first, thought i could call him in the afternoon. But i will not have a chance to call him anymore, i didnt even have a chance to say goodbye, didnt tell him how much i loved him... i will never forget that day, it has been 15 yrs now, but i still miss him so much!!! he brought me up when i was 5 yrs old, he would give me whatever he had, would forgive whenever i made mistakes...i would never forget u---