How to mend my relationship with my in laws??

This is the generation question between you ,but i think any questions would have a way to relove it ,pay more attention to her on your daily life to prove you love her and care about her ,if you have different opinion on the topic ,listenling carefully each other's opinion ,if you think you are right ,try to tell her why and let her trust you ,and if you think her is right ,give her encourage .

I'm not seeing this turn into the warm and loving relationship that you really want to have with them. From what I'm reading here, the best you can hope for is a civil and respectful one which is much like what I have with my ex. I'm not sure just what it is that you disagree on but you can't give in and be her little puppet in the hopes of gaining her admiration. You can take her advice into consideration but in the end you have to follow your heart and do what you feel is right by your family. Last, you say that they take things in your home without asking???? That would be just too much for me. It is stealing. Truthfully your husband should be the one to say something to them. Someone needs to. They absolutely should not be taking things out of your house without asking. What sort of things do they take?

well ive learn we cant and shouldnt talk to my mother in law about everything. sometime its just better not to say anything to her just keep it to yourself. i used to try to talk to my about the kids, she didnt belive in how i displind my kids. where she just talk and i gave spankings out

Well, I have to say your in-laws are too meddlesome, based on what you said here. I hate meddlesome in-laws. They should give you space and respect you and how you do things. But of course, we always have to tolerate them, no matter how much they annoy us. We need to be on civil terms with them. You can just make small talk with them. It is not necessary for you to have long conversations with them. Just smile and talk to them for a few minutes or so. You can also do a few things your in-law says, so that she will that her advice is valued and heard. But you should have a limit to that. You can also try to talk to your husband/wife about your opinions and problems with your in-laws. Maybe your husband/wife can talk to his/her own parents about that.

Because you feel angry with her until now but when you take a look and see that if your in laws doing like that be patient and understand her same as you understand to your own mother buy doing like that you accept of what her doing and you can take more patient in her.

Hi,Riani it happens,but i think if you change yourself a bit and adjust,everything will go fine.I think it is all because of the generation gap existing between you and your in laws.It is obvious the way you see things differs with the way they see it.And you please understand that if they are telling anything related to your kids then it is because they being responsible towards your kids,they are enjoying the rights of being grandparents.That is what makes them happy in old age.Feel happy as there are many kids who do not have grandparents beside them,to take care of them and to spend time with them.Your in laws are also your family members and there is nothing to say they interfere in your family matters,ofcourse i understand there will be certain issues confined to you and your partner,which you can discuss among yourself in privacy.If there is any difference of opinion in matters of talk then just stay quite,do not express your opinion.And if your in laws are taking things without informing you,tell them in a polite way that it upsets you and you waste time in searching those things,so next time to inform you before they take anything.Please understand that they are old and they are in the last stage of their life,so give them their space,in the long run someday,you too will grow old and you may face the same situation with your daughter or son in law.Put yourself in their shoes and understand things.Sorry if i have hurt you,all i wanted to convey is it is for your comfort and happiness.

I am sorry my friend. I understand that it is a difficult situation. I don't like people forcing me to do things like their way in my personal matters or personal responsibilities. They can give their opinions as suggestions, but not orders. On the other hand, I never force people to do whatever I say. We should not enter into others personal space and rights. In this case, you can avoid talking to her much. But, treat her in a nice way whenever she talks to you. If you don't like to take any of her suggestion, please don't argue, but tell her that you will consider her opinion and think about it. Finally, you can do things in the way you like. Till now, I have good relationship with my inlaws. They live in a different country. So, I have very little contacts with them.

It's a very tough situation. You didn't mention about your husband; Is he not around? I understand your situation on avoiding in hurting them. Elders (in laws) are very sensitive whenever we expresses our (who are much younger than they are) opinions and would often will lead to hurting them. If you are living with them, the best option is to get a place of your own so that you only get to see them once in a while. It is also best if you could tell your situation to your in laws to your husband's attention. I know this is hard but please try to extend your patience and understanding to them. This is only my opinion. Happy myloting.

As long as you stay civil with them, I think it should be alright. Try to maintain respect even when they are not being nice. Whether it'll work, I don't know. I just don't think that you can get a person to like you. I don't think there's anything wrong with in laws making suggestions about how their grandkids are raised so as long as they dont force it because you are still the parent. I also dont think it's nice for anyone to take things from you without permission. I think this is all just a matter of respect to agree to disagree. I would just keep things civil with them but I won't try to get them to like me or anything. That's just me. I would feel the same way you do.

You are not alone in this type of situation. What you can do is talk to your husband first since I'm sure it would be hard for you to tell your in laws about what you want. More often it would lead to more resentment on their part. Your husband would be more at ease discussing your situation but he needs to be careful in explaining your side since his failure to do so would lead to some negative reactions and somehow would even aggravate the situation further. It is very important that your in laws feel that you would like to be a part of their family and for them to know how you feel in some situations. Another option is to put some distance between you and in laws. If you live near them, try relocating and try to visit them only on special occasions this would at least lessen the pressure on you since the least you are in contact with them the least chances of you getting hurt by their insensitivity. Cheers