Need To Vent

Hi carolbee Im not a mean person but I have an ideal for you on this. Call your nephew and wife and tell them that you have previous plans and won't be able to come to the dinner that are having...LOL..This let them know that you know and it might get the message across to them. I have done this before in the past. It kinda makes them so OHHHHHH...LOL Try it and see what happens. Have a nice day and keep smiling.

I WOULD feel insulted…though I think there’s a lot of difference between the way western and eastern people consider all the relations. Thanksgiving as much as I know is a family celebration…all the more reason why elders should be invited…it could be an occasion to thank the elders too just for being there for us (even if it’s the extended family) But kids today I think are really different…maybe they feel that with uncle and aunt in their midst, they would have to compromise on the fun *sigh*

I do see where you are coming from actually. Now are they celebrating with the family on Thanksgiving as well? If they aren't then someone should speak up and say something to them. This is a family holiday and really should be celebrated with family. If they are celebrating on Thursday and this is yet another celebration then it could be really a gathering of young people celebrating their own Thanksgiving. I remember doing something similar when I was younger. My husband and I invited a few close friends and my brother & his wife over for another dinner.

Well I guess I'm looking at it two different ways. First of all are you already spending Thanksgiving with your kids on a different day? I guess if you were going to see your kids on one specific day then it wouldn't really bother me, but if you're not going to celebrate Thanksgiving at all with them, then that's something else. I would be upset if I were you if I weren't going to see my kids for the holiday. I know during the holidays we always have my parents over, even if we decide not to invite everyone else. Sometimes we just want my parents and brother and his partner to come, so we don't invite the other people as we don't want a huge gathering.

I can see how you would be irritated, and or hurt by being left out of this dinner since your children were invited. Do you think that maybe they accidently forgot to invite you, or told your children to pass the word on to you and they have forgotten? It's hard not to stress over it but I would try not too.

Sometimes a person needs to vent,probably because at work,too much pressure,there is something intractable in life,these will allow that you are not happy, not happy should vent out,then you will feel better.

What normaly would be the situation with your nephew, kids and Thanks Giving? If you normally celebrate together, then yes, I would be offended. But then I am facing that scenerio with my ex husbasnds family. Total silence.

Oh dear I'm going to add fuel to the fire on this one - that is horrid! Why on earth would they invite the kids and not you? Is the rest of the family invited? Is anyone in the family having Thanksgiving on Thanksgiving Day? That's just NOT right if this is supposed to be a family celebration - that should be the whole family. Think you can tell I would be the one venting here if it happened to me :(

Wonder why you weren't invited, Carol. Have you asked? You do have the right to be upset by this but also have the right to ask why not as well. Now me..wouldn't really bother me much being I'd much rather just stay home.

Oh I would be pizzed....and irritated....and angry...and feeling left out! That's a bunch of cr*p.....Maybe one of your daughters could mention to them that they forgot to invite you and if you don't come they won't either! Do you want me to beat them up for you?

WOW, what do people think of these days? Are they really calling it a Thanksgiving dinner or is it just another excuse to party? In our family Thanksgiving is every day but we only have one Thanksgiving dinner, it is always on Thursday that has been set aside by the Gov't as such day. Are you having Thanksgiving Dinner at your home on Thursday? I hope that you have a happy one.

How terrible for you and your husband. You are well with in your rights to be upset. Ainge

Hi, carolbee. You have every right to be angry! Thanksgiving is for the entire family and for other loved ones... You should be invited to the meal.. I think that you should accompany your kids as well. How old are your kids? If they want to do a date that is fine. But they should invite you if you if it is a big Thanksgiving meal.. How awful.. It would be something if your kids didn't go, just because you and your husband was not invited.. I hope that this will change so that you can go..

Wow I understand how you feel but maybe they couldnt accomodate all of the family so they decided that this was the best way to make a family session but with onlly the kids invited .I dont know what the issues are but I would suggest that you ask them befor eyou get livvid as the reasons may be valid as to why the didnt invite you

That seems like that would hurt my feelings as well carolbee. I understand, like you said, if it was just a get together for the younger people. But why in the world would they invite your kids, and not invite you. Do they not realize that you talk to your kids, and that you are going to be aggravated? Are they doing this on purpose, just to be hurtful? Then again, I wonder if they were planning on calling to let you know. Maybe you have an invitation on the way and you just haven't gotten it yet. I hate it when our family has situations like this. Sometimes my sister invites me, but doesn't invite my brother. That really makes me feel awkward. Good luck, and I hope you have a Happy Thanksgiving!

hi carolbee if it were your adult kids who were giving the dinner and had not invited you yes I would also be upset. but a nephew and his wife , I have nephews and wives inother states who have never even sent me a christmas card let alone ever invited me to anything at all. Don't let this upset you as there could be any number of reasons why you were not invited, for one thing if your kids were invited maybe the nephew and wife thought you would of course come too? I mean maybe they made the assumption that if you are close they wou ld not need to give you a formal invitation.call them and ask if you wou ld be welcome instead of just stewing about it. or have you ever said or done something that might have pissed off either of them? call them and find out.

lol. why you should be upset. My advice, do not be angry. You should still thank them, although you are not invited but your child still invited to enjoy their food. Maybe they have their own reasons, why not invite you or maybe they are afraid you would rather spend their food and left no food for them as hosts. lol

Try not to take it personally. Did they purposely make it obvious that you weren't invited? Even if they did, and for whatever reason they did, trust me, this doesn't matter in the long run. Why take it personally? Why waste the energy on such a thing? Will it matter in a week? a month? a year? five years? This is how I define what and when I really invest in getting upset enough to do something about whatever it was. Most things really just don't matter enough to warrant getting upset. So what? Let them have their separate thanksgiving. It's not hurting you, and I'm reasonably certain it wasn't meant to exclude you specifically. Who knows? Maybe they're trying to start a new thanksgiving tradition. I try to take a Zen-type attitude toward such matters. In the long run, this doesn't matter, therefore, it doesn't warrant wasting time being hurt over. Even if this was their intent, to hurt you, why give them the satisfaction? Be like water: the softest and the most destructive force in the world; only now, you need to be soft and yielding. This doesn't mean you're weak -- far from it. It makes you the stronger of the bunch to be able to stand up to insult and let it flow right off of you like rain off a duck's back.

Oh, maybe they have some reasons. Do not be angry,smile can make you younger.

Well, i do understand your feelings and the anger. Sometimes relatives are like this and they dont understand the importance of relationship in inviting and respecting everyone equally. I will go real irritated and will not stop asking them the reason.