How is your Relationship with your In-Laws?

Hi, doran... Well let me first say that what your fil did was nasty and trifling!!! That was mean to say all this stuff about you to your own hubbie.. I have been married for 8 years. And let me tell you my in-laws have not always had me in their best eyes.. I had to tell two of my in-laws off. I have told my mil off a million of times!!! Now, we all try to respect each other, at least some of them do. But my fil is still in his old school ways and he does not respect my words when it comes to my kids. My mil and bil will try to, but not him. I have been through the tail and wind with my mil... And still is going through it with her... But, to keep myself away from their mess, I will distance myeslf away from them. When I was at my fil's trailer he would blow his breath when he would see me.. He be like, Awww... I wished that he would say something to me instead of blowing his breath all of the time.. My mil used to do the same crap.. Now I am in my own place, and I hardly answer my phone when my mil calls.. One time she used to compare my hair to her hair, and her oldest daughter's hair.. She even told me that my daughter had hair like her daughter's hair.. Which is a lie.. My in-laws know better than to talk smack to my husband about me. They know what I will do to them all when I find out.. Don't sweat it, let them be dirty to you.. As long as their eyes are opened they will never get away with treating you so ill!

nice. it sounds like there is no pleasing this man. a clean house is certainly no reason to get a divorce over, if he wants to change it so bad, tell HIM to come clean your house!

Whether you have 2 kids or 10 kids and whether you have a job flying round the globe on a broomstick and whether that’s a biological father or not…there is absolutely NO justification as to how he could tell his ‘son’ to divorce you…this is so personal that I don’t think anybody has the right to advise a couple, unsolicited, whether they ought to stay together or part ways! And you say he’s the only dad your hubby’s known…so presumably he loves your hubby and vice versa…what kind of father would advise his son to divorce the mother of his two kids and with whom he’s building a happy family? And you really don’t need to justify to anybody the state of your home! Personally, I share a very good relation with my in-laws but we keep to our limits and that is the best for all round healthy relation.

Hugs to you dorannmwin! I can't believe someone would go so far as to say THAT - I mean, with kids, a tornado hit house is just the way it is. I know our place is often messy . . . I can either spend quality time with my kid(s) or neglect them to have a sparkling clean house. Should I feel bad for not being able to cook gourmet every night as well? Has FIL ever said or hinted anything about this? That was pretty ballsy of him to call up your husband to talk about something as serious as divorce, when you otherwise thought everything was going well. My relationship with the ILs, well, we stay "nice" to each other - but mainly because I hold my tongue. They are well meaning people, but they drive me (and my husband) nuts. I could make a whole laundry list about them, but I won't vent here . We live only 5 minutes from them, but see them maybe once a month, if that. I don't talk to them on the phone . . . and I don't go visiting their place without my husband.

Just take it easy, Dorannmwin, Maybe your father-in-law is in some kind of special period of his life, like menopause of women. sometimes people will do something blankety-blank, Just take it easy, don't get into a wrangle with him, you will find it's important to him with times going on. something he said or he did should be misunderstanded by you or something goes to the end out of his intention. you know, sometimes baby cry loundly, but there is nothing to cry for, he just want to make you awaring his activity. So you father in-law said that to your husband, Maybe he just want to let you know you should take care more about his daily life, his health, he is being there, Never forget that he is your father in-law. That is it, no other meaning. I think there is no other people who has the right to talk about your marriage life, beyond your husband. Come on, it is a little episode of our daily life. Just take it easy.

Hold your head up and stay strong! It might be that your father-in-law is having troubles in his own love life(misery loves company). Bottom line you need to make sure you and your husband have good communication. Talk to your husband. How did what your father-in-law say about you make him feel? Continue to be nice to your father-in-law. In fact, encourage him to visit his grandchildren and let him know that you are here for him to talk to(if, he ever needs a woman's perspective, or, in general). Do this casually, like its no big deal(you don't want him to think you believe he needs help). If, he does come over to visit his grandchildren -use that time thanking them so, much for coming over(let him know that he is valuable in your life and in your family)use this time tiding up and to make small positive conversation(think of a positive holiday memory you have shared with, him -tell him you were just thinking about it the other day!). By making your father-in-law feel more valued, he will be less likely to want you out of his life! Even, extremely cruel and heartless people generally, don't want to push someone entirely, out of their lives(even, if, they want them gone- they still, want to be able to get a hold of them). Wishing, you the best! Stay strong! Stay sweet! Talk up your father-in-law to his grandchildren(especially, in front of your husband). You can do it!

I'm real sorry to hear that. It's not very nice for him to all of sudden say something like that. He should understand you're doing the best you can with you having your kids and babysitting. It takes alot out of a person. Well I do hope things do get better for you and your in laws. I get along with my in laws. I loved my mother in law but of course we have butt heads every now and then. And for a little while I had a little slight problem with my father in law but I come to realize he's only trying to help. It's just words hit me deep and somethings he's said in the past has affected me but we're better now. I don't know I was staying with them and just have gotten real close to them. They're really great people.

It's none of his freaking business. Why did he have to do that? What did your husband say to him? That would make me mad :( I have a good relationship with my in-laws but I don't want to get too close with them. I limit myself with my communication with them cause sometimes when you get too close with your loved ones family somehow something goes wrong. People get too comfortable... enough to talk behind your back or take advantage of you. I hate that.

hi dora, how are you, yeah, me my mils is very good relationship, we understand eachother, till now only one time had fighting but, not serious, only because of my kid. his appitite is not much good, i will force him to eat the food, for that, inbetween us little bit misunderstanding that'all, otherwise, she is good enough. in everybody's family there are silly silly misunderstandings will come, but they should raise as big to cutoff their relationship. thankyou, have a nice day.

My mother-in-law and I got along even before her son and I got married. She and I would go out and do girl things. Unfortunately, she had passed away before we got married (six weeks before). I never got to meet his dad because he had passed away 10 years ago. His mom would call me up and say please have my son pick up a loaf of bread and milk. Of course I would go out and pick it up for her, she would offer me money, but I never took it. I try to get along with my sister-in-law but it is not easy. She and I never got along. I remember when my mother-in-law was in the hopsital my sister-in-law treated my mother-in-law like a child, but when I went out and bought her some tea my sister-in-law accused me of spoiling her. I am sorry your father-in-law said those things about you. I know it is hard to keep a house clean when you have kids.

Your not alone, I have been married to my husband for almost 17 years. His father and his step mother, he isn't close to any of them all of sudden want to be grandparents to our kids. First think I thought we well why have thet chosen now I have one teenager and one almost teenager. Where were they when they were babies. We currently live pretty close and we have lived close to them 2 other sets of times and now they want to be grandparents. Well, on facebook I put something about my sons football game and it would have been nice to have family there, meaning my uncle who was in town on business. Well, my Father-in-law went off the deep end about it posting it back on facebook so people that I work with could even seen and yes my teenage son. Ok, so I am trying to make peace I called told him I was sorry, I sent an email everything I could do wasn't good enough. Ok so I finally sent him the Dear Jerk that he needed to hear. Yep, that relationship is done! Not on purpose just something he couldn't get over even though it had nothing to do with him. I would confront him the same way I did if not it will eat away.