My son has already a girlfriend and he is just 12 years old.

My son was 15yo when he had s*x for the first time..... I did not have the s*x talk which was my fault... The girl was 14yo.... Her mom and I was talking on her aunts porch and my son asked if he could show his girlfriend where he goes fishing... We both agreed they could go not having any ideal that they would have s*x...My son did not tell me for over a month.... Of course, I was mortified but had to act calm to get information..... I asked him about protection and talked to him about the dangers of having s*x without protection..... I also had to explain the experience in detail so he would understand that it should have been when he got older and with someone he loves..... Then I went home and called his mother because I thought it was my obligation as a mother to do this.... According to some of the things my son told me, it was not this little girls first time..... Of course, her mom cussed me out and told me I was crazy.... Her girl denied and started crying.... I told her mom Tell her you are going to take her to the hospital to find out if she is a v*rgin or not.... Then her little girl fessed up.... You know that woman never spoke to me again..... The girls father told the mother to call me and apologize and she would not ..... He told her that she should thank me because I was concerned for our children.... My son used to ask for money all the time for the very same things.... I do not think it would be appropriate unless you are rich and can afford it until they get atleast dating age 16yo or whatever age you have set in your home....

The money issue, and the girlfriend issue, are two different things. First, the money cause it's easy. I'm 33 now, and I grew up in a household that taught me the value of money. How? By not giving it to me. WHAT?! Shocking I know, but my parents actually had me earn my money. Funny thing about earning money, when you do that, you learn the value of it. When you hand out money on a silver platter, not only do you teach them money is easy and simple to get, but you also teach them to blow money on frivolous things. A habit that can destroy marriages and lives, later on in life. Oh, and another useful lesson that can be learned, is the life isn't fair, and it's ok. I went to an upper middle class school system. While most people were driving to school in mommy and daddies BMW and Porche, I was driving a B2000 Mazada pickup '86 (what I could afford). Was it fun? No. But I learned that it's ok that others have things I do not. So my answer to asking for money, for a girlfriend or otherwise, is no. Start mowing the lawn, or taking out the trash, cleaning the floors. Oh and not $50 bucks a lawn either. If I can get a lawn service for $20, then I'll pay him $10-$15, since it's my mower and my gas. Now once it's his money, let him use it for whatever he wants. Now back to the girlfriend. This is a bit tough. Where's the father? Boys relate to fathers more than mothers (logically). So does he have a good relationship with his father? If not, then it is possible he is compensating for that lack by getting a girlfriend. Also why does he not want to tell you? Are you overbearing, controlling, or emotional? My own mother at one point was emotional. If I told her anything she'd get bent one way or another. Angry, flippant, sad, scared, worried... and so on. I understood that this was simply the way she was, but that doesn't make me want to tell her anything, and... I didn't. Instead I always talked to my father. He was way more approachable, and I could talk to him about anything. Still can really. My mother has improved on this greatly, but even today, if given the choice of spending time alone with either one, I'd choose my father. I would say rebuilding, or beginning to build a relationship with your son, is a far more important issue than the girl friend. I'd let that run it's course. I highly doubt they'll be setting a wedding date.

Things like this seem to happen at a younger and younger age. I understand you may not be ready for it. I don't think I would be either. But the fact is that it has happened. Just take it slowly and let your son know you are there for him.

And they call it puppy love.My 9 year daughter also goes around telling all she has a boyfriend,family's friends son,then she also told me she is sharing her boyfriend with her best friend,so not sure whether your 12 yr old knows exactly what girlfriend means,their version is very different with older teens,i think it is a good sign,hormones speaking.

Hi celestial. First of all, you should start a well planned campaign to earn his trust, to become his closest friend, to feel free to talk things with you. That is very important for his future and also for your family future. Right now it sounds he preffer to hold for himself or talk senzitive things with .. strangers .. As about gift for his gf .. if is her birthday or something, is ok, if not, you should try hard to do the above in order to later teach him how to manage a relation with a girl without being necessary to buy her gifts .. Oh, don't forget to make him to enjoy bring and introduce his gf to you .. and you must play the good-cop role ..

OH wow he has girlfriend at this age ,I think I should learn something from your son because I am 24 years old but still I dont have any girl friend well actually that is just attraction but I dont think in this age it is good for hin,I confessed that time has been changed but it is a peak time to make future and learn other things ,you should make him undertand in nice manner but do not scold hin other wise he will not undersatnd anything

Umm... better have that talk with him as soon as possible. Tell him that he is young and that he needs to enjoy his youth because he only gets to be young once. I did not have a boyfriend until I was an adult. Seriously, no real romantic relationship until I was 22. When I was 12, I listened to Hanson and read comic books. Yes, I listened to boy bands and read comic books. I was not ready at all for a relationship. I am almost 25 right now, and even though I have a boyfriend, we still act like kids. We are not ready for marriage and a family. We are still young and we want to have fun before it's all over with. Tell your son to find a hobby. Video games will get him away from the girls, so will comic books, card games (I suggest Magic the Gathering), and sports. Tell him to focus on school first and the women will come later.

It seems that kiss are dating younger and younger all the time. When my kids were that age I told them no dating until age 16. They didn't start until after they were 18 the same with my grandkids. This was back quit a few years. First off I would set your son down and have the s3x talk make sure he understands about all The STDs. After that give him some ground rules, hen and where he can see her. But I also wouldn't give him any money to buy her gifts. If you do the gift is coming from you. If he gets an allowance he can use that money. If not have him earn it. Give him some extra chores around the house. Things like washing windows. He will the n learn that girlfriends cost money.

It's ok for someone that age to have a girlfriend. Just make sure it doesn't go any farther thatn hand holdong or a peck on the cheek. As for asking for money if he doesn't have an allowance than I don't see where this is too much. This is where you can take control and show him how minor this is. This isn't a for the rest of your life relationship just one of many but you still don't want to be careless.

I wouldn't worry too much. When I was 12 years old, I had a girlfriend and had some strong feeling for her. Unfortunately, she was not staying in my country and we had a painful parting. This was back in the 1960s and I dare not tall my parents in those days. I went through many weeks of emotional pain and never told anyone why I was feeling that way. If it was my son, I would explain to him about sexuality and the problems of getting involved, but I would not try and put him off as knowing my son, this would only cause him to want it even more. I would also need to know if the young girl's parents were aware, if not I believe they would have to know about it. They may even object. But the problem would remain that the more adults would try to break them up, the more likely they would be to see each other behind our backs. It is far better to get these things out into the open. Kids are shown so many adult relationships on TV these days, that they are bound to want to explore such relationships themselves. It is only natural.. - Derek

Parents should be understanding with their children in all the aspect so that their children respect them totally. Even if their children having in that kind of relationship. parents should be reasonable enough for the children will not discourage on their actions... If the kid ask for money to buy gift for his girl friend just talk it in a better way for not disappointing the kid. It's not bad to tell with kid about the important of one relationship before allowing him/her to enter in that relationship...

I think the young bud is going to have flowers in their age. If you suppress it more, the negative result is much. That is why your son prepfer to tell others and not you as he think that you will oppose it for sure. 12 years old kid is in the age of reverse psycology. You should let him know that you care him too much and allow him to contact with the girl. But he should behave himself or you can list the prohibition. Study is the most important thing in his age, and he also has the right to make friends. Respect is the basic thing between you and your son. You can lead to another direciton if you can manage well for the same situation. Have a nice day.

Be proud at least you know that your son knows how to love another person and how to make other people happy, be proud at least you know that your son is growing, your son can experience this things. There are kids who do not know nothing but themselves and the things that they could get form their parents. Know nothing but selfish thinking as they are only a child. But your son, is good, and mature enough to do things. Let him do things his own way with your guidance, guidance only, never decide what you think will hurt your son, and will make him rebel to you. It is ok for that age to have a girlfriend but be sure to guide him properly and always stay at his side as a parent and as a friend. If something goes wrong, don;t you think it is right to comfort him. Don't you think it is right to explain him things that it is the way of love. If all is good and going strong, then be happy, if not then be on his side. That is all, and i hope this helps. Thank you so much.

Thats not the kind of stuff boys like to tell their mother because... well... mothers usually overreact. If he asked for money, I would tell you to give him. About giving him advices... no offense but that is more a father business.

I don't have boys, but I have two daughters. I made a rule right from the get-go that they could not date, wear make-up, drive, wear bikinis, etc., until they are 16 years of age. My 16yo has been great. She doesn't care to bare her body, only wears a bit of mascara because she has blonde hair with pale lashes, and hasn't really shown any interest in boys until now. However, last week I happened to be driving by when I saw my 13 year old daughter reach out and hug and kiss a boy on the cheek. I was dumbfounded. When I confronted her I kept my cool about it but she lied saying it was just a friendly hug and that she didn't kiss him. I was sure she had kissed him but the sun was shining right between them so I gave her the benefit of the doubt... until I followed up with a neighbour. Her son was there was when this occurred and had immediately told his mom because he saw me drive by. I confronted her again, adding that she had now lied to me. I explained the reason for the rule... guys are not satisfied with just that. They want more. It is inappropriate for a girl her age. I had also spoken to the boy's mother who also did not approve of the physical aspect, but didn't really object to him having a girlfriend as he had had one before. I said there is no boyfriend/girlfriend and hands off. They can be friends and hang out with other friends together (they haven't though). I guess I was in the right place at the right time. They had only been "together" for a week. Apparently that was the first time that had happened. A little disturbing though that she was the one who made the first move. In talking to other parents I found that they weren't comfortable with these kids hugging all the time, but I guess I am the first one to take a stand and put an end to it. My daughter lost her cell phone for a full week because she broke the rule, lied to me, and snuck out that evening while I was out. (Turns out she was in the neighbour's house while I was talking to the mother of the boy that had been there, and while I talked to the "boyfriend's" mother on the phone, in that house). Kids' brains aren't fully developed until they are about 21. There is no way they can make any smart calls at that age. I am here to guide her and protect her and lead her in the right direction. I can't keep an eye on her 24 hours a day but we do talk about the boy. I think I handled the situation well (not once raising my voice) and I spoke to my husband about it and together we told her what her punishment was. She hid it from me because she knew it was wrong. That what I feel may be the situation with your son... he didn't tell you because he thought you would disapprove. Honestly, he is way too young to have a girlfriend. JMHO.

Well most likely it is very innocent at least hopefully it is. If they are just talking on the phone and not really having any alone time together it is probably OK, although I do think it is a bit young, but it really depends on how serious it is. Are they seeing each other a lot outside of school or is this more of a school thing? Are they ever together where there are no adults around? If they are not I would not worry about it too much. I would encourage him to talk to me about it though.

You should tell him you were hurt he didn't come to you first to tell you he had a girlfriend and that next time he should let you know. That way you can talk to him about the way you feel. I would also suggest having him do chores to earn the money to buy the gift for his girlfriend, that way he will learn how to work for money (if he doesn't already) and he will be more likely to pick out a great gift for the girl.

Oh!! he's too young to have that kind of relationship. Anyway, if it is just a simple fling, that's just alright. Just be there to check and follow up his whereabouts every now and then.

Don't be angry with him. This is very important. Just lead him how to do, you can tell him some cases and let him know the bad. Besides, your and your wife should give your son more love and pay more time on him if you did't in the past. Maybe he feels lonely, so he......Of course, you should be patient!

Sometimes kids feel uncomfortable discussing things like these with parents. They are scared of "the talk." Explain that you are not going to judge him, but you are his parent so you want what is best for him. This relationship will not last (12 years old, no, I don't think so.) Just try to be there for him. Young love is sweet and shouldn't be discouraged, but explain to him that certain behavior at his age isn't acceptable.