"It is the thought that counts." Do we still follow this motto?

It is the thought that counts.. Most people expect someone to spend a lot of money on a gift. But, sometimes that may be impossible to. I had bought my aunt and uncle a Christmas card for the both of them. My others aunts was not pleased that I gave them these cards. They got mad at me because I bought them cheap cards. I had no money to buy something that they would have liked more. But I felt that I did try to give something. So, they took me off of the Christmas list. So each year, my name is not drawn to give two people a gift.. If we are supposed to be a REAL family then money should not be the reason we are accepted??

Hi, ladym33. I am sorry about what happened to your fruit basket. I am pretty sure that the bowl that it was in was very pretty. As far as my knowledge is concerned, I don't think that my mil thought that I was trying to make her be a Jehovah's Witness. She knows that I don't follow this kind of religion.. I told her an episode about how a man tried to chase me down in his car by giving me a booklet from Jehovah's Witnesses. I threw it in the trash can when I got home.. I sometimes feel that my mil is very ungrateful when it comes to me doing good for her. Because I have noticed that down the line she gives me her behind to kiss. It was mean of your relatives to make fun of your fruit basket.. It is mean for them to be like this. People like this, won't have any good coming to them..

Hi cuddle. I hope to make a difference in others thinking when it comes to me giving a gift. Thank you for understanding where I am coming from!

I just wanted to add that yes it is the thought that counts but how much do you really care for your mother in law,I mean the thought usually is that it would be something the other person would really like, but if you have some hidden anger towards her maybe you were not quite as thoughtful as you might have been otherwise. I know that gifts in this horrid economy need not be expensive but being careful to tailor a gift to the receipient would help to relay your love for her.

Hi, Hatley. You are right. Please let me explain to you my side of the story... I gave my mil this book out of love. When I gave the book to her I did not read the book. So therefore I did not know what the book was about.. I admit this was my fault. If I had to scan the book to see what kind of book that it was then maybe I could have gotten her something that she would have liked. I am in no way trying to turn her into a Jehovah's witness. This is a religion that I myself would never follow. Yes, I agree that books should be selected with the likes of the person in mind.. I have talked with her, and I have found out what books that she likes. Lastly, I would never expect her to like whatever I give to her. I know that her interests are different from mines. I don't expect her to like the same what I like nor do I expect her to accept my preferences for a book. Here is why I feel this way, please read below.. An older woman once gave me a gift. She gave me a two boxes of cologne. She gave me some house slippers too. She also gave me a red and black stripy scarf. Well, the gifts that she gave to me was of something that she assumed that I would like. The cologne smelled like a man's cologne. It did not smell the way that I desired. It was not a scent that I would choose if I had to buy this of my own. But, I appreciated the gift that she gave to me, so I utilized her gift. I wore the slippers even though they made my feet uncomfortable.. But later down the line, I stopped wearing them. The slippers were leaving a mark around my ankle which was very uncomfortable. I wore the perfume and scarf. It was not to my liking. But I appreciated the gift because she took the time to give it to me because of her appreciation that she had for me. I was honored to have someone give me a gift even though it was not to my liking. When my mil stopped reading the book it made me feel that she did not appreciate what I had gave her. Despite it being what she desired, it would be nice to have a Thank You. I am not trying to sound nasty or anything Hatley. But I really am not an mean person. I just wished that others would appreciate the things that I do for them. Sometimes in life, God will not give us what we want, but he will always give us what we need.

If this is the only thing that you remember from this post about me Hatley, please remember this: If I took the time to even think about giving my mil something, then this is more than any work. I have never seen any of her kids do for her what I have done for her.. I am never in competition with them.. I am only being a good daughter-in-law to her. I never try to be more than what I already am. Even though she has put me through a terrible strain, I still find it in my heart to do for her... That, to me is what counts..

Hi, kellyjeannne. I agree. But, it still would have been considerate of her to at least keep her comments about how she felt about the book to herself. Just because she does not follow The Jehovah's Witness religion, does not mean that she can just knock the gift down of what I give her. I am not trying to be rude here, but that is how I feel.

Now you see where I am coming from.. All before she was reading the book that I gave to her without a problem. Then she all of a sudden has complaints about it... When my bil told her that what she was reading was a Jehovah's Witness book, she automatically stopped reading it. It is sad that my mil can let someone tell her what not to do.. It would have been fair for her to tell her son that she still appreciated the book even though it is not the religion that she follows. She should have told him, that she will decide what is best for her, whether she wants to continue reading the book, or if she no longer wants to read it. Reading the rest of the book should have been her decision not her son's. She has read almost the entire book. So, if she had a problem with how the book sounded from the start, she would have been done put it aside. Just as soon as her son comes along to tell her what she has been reading, she decides that she no longer wants to read it. My mil needs to learn how to decide for herself what she likes and dislikes. Listening to someone else is not always the way to go.

You are right about that. If someone gave me a gift that I didn't like I would simply smile and say thank you. That would be the gracious thing to do. It would be very rude to come to that person and say something like: "Oh, I'm so sorry, but, I don't like it". That would be the rudest and most thoghtless thing to say to someone who bought you a gift. Purrs, Catwoman=^..^= & Mija

I don't blame you, TickleMe. If someone had to treat my gift so thoughtless, I would not get them another gift either. It was mean for them to just toss your gift aside. I know how it feels when the in-laws don't give you anything. It will hurt. In-laws have a way of keeping a person out of the equation. They can make you feel that you don't belong at times. To blank with them....

You have a point there at least she was honest. It would have hurt more if she had to lie to be about liking the book. I do know what type of books she likes to read as of now. I guess the truth hurts..

Hi, cathy.. You mean like what habits??

Hi, rjvb26! You are such a sweet man! You remind me of so much of me! Only I am a woman. I love to see others smile. And if I can't afford something, I will give them a gift that still means something. You are very compassionate. Continue to be this way, your life will be filled with love and blessings!

Hi, r. Yes, it is special being that someone gave it to you.

Hi, jn. Yes that is a great idea. That way she can get what she wants.. This is something that I will start doing for others from now on anyway.. It works out better this way.. Besides, I would rather someone give me the money or the gift card.. Thanks for this suggestion!