What are the rules of chatting ,who should say ' hi 'first ?
By ronnyb
@ronnyb (6113)
Jamaica
November 21, 2009 10:03am CST
I spend as much time chatting on my IM ,(yahoo messenger) as I do mylotting or even more time .This because I have quite a few friends adn that list get longer by day .Lateley however I have been deleting some people in particular some new friends I have because they seem to think that I should always be saying hi first even when they came into messenger and sees me and they will sign in and dont speak to me if I dont initiate the conversation..I am not saying that they should talk to me all the time but jeeez
Now this might seem petty to me but it annoys me a lot ad I live by the simple rule taht if I sign into my messenger and I see you I should say hi as I would if I enter a room and see you .Its as if I am excited to talk to you all the time and you dont .Now I odnt mind saying hi to you first but I dont think that I should do it all the time and I am frankly rethinking some of my friednship as a result.Now dont get me wrong I have some friends who will always say hi to me and who will do the same too but then I have some who are just so cocky .
Now do you have this same problem or I am just being petty ?What would you do if you had friends like that.Do you have rules when chatting on messenger ?
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4 people like this
9 responses
@maygodblessu44 (7336)
• India
21 Dec 09
Hello my friend ronnyb Ji,
Well, your annoyance is natural. In such cass, my children always suggest to keep quiet, but my hubby is very much fond of initiating first without being biased by anythin.He is of the view that a person who leads first becomes leader in real sense in life. Others are lef as followers. A self steem will prevail. I do not think, it will harm you.
May God bless You and have a great time.![](/Content/images/emotes/thumbup.gif)
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@maygodblessu44 (7336)
• India
22 Dec 09
Hello my friend ronnyb Ji,
So nice of you for your pleasing comments. Further it has added another feather that you have praised my hubby.
May God bless You and have a great time.![](/Content/images/emotes/thumbup.gif)
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@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
21 Nov 09
I only have very close Friends on my IM and if I see them come on they will say Hi but I sometimes appear ofline so they will not see me on I will then say hi
But I agree with what you are saying and it does seem that they do not want to talk unless you do
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@jdyrj777 (6530)
• United States
21 Nov 09
Forgive me if iam one of them. From the tagged site i get many request for my messenger ID. There have been a few that have been annoying to me in the past. I also work online and they open the messenger ID and expect ASAP response. Meanwhile i may have a window open and working. So after a few problem people who liked ringing the BUZZ i deleted a lot of people from my list. Now im selective in giving out my ID. Mainly because of all the request. Right now im in a transistion ive gotten a new computer that has vista on it and im waiting for the pony express to bring my free disk upgrade for windows7. I didnt even bother setting the home page or downloading the messenger. Just because i will have to do it all again ina few days.
@ronnyb (6113)
• Jamaica
21 Nov 09
Yeah I know that many people alwyas asking for your messnger Id on tagged and I dont have a problem giving out mine if I get to know the person.I dont expect also to alwyas get a response asap and I dont buzz people but what I hate are persons who always expect me to say hi all the time .Thanks Juds
@jdyrj777 (6530)
• United States
24 Nov 09
Ok. im with ya on that then. If im busy i wont say hi, but will respond if said hi to me. I dont like to hide that iam online either. Sometimes you have to do that to get things done. I usually tell people i will get to know them a little better through tagged before giving out my ID. Most tire out before getting it.
Once this guy in kingston asked me if i wanna see his cam. i said yes. As soon as it came on he gave me some an adult show then sign out. I removed him after that. I bought the cam for contact with family and friend in my home state.
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
22 Nov 09
i WOULD DELETE ALL THOSE SILLY IMMATURE PEOPLE TO. hOW CHILDISH FOR GROWN PEOPLE TO ACT LIKE THAT. THEY NEED TO GET A LIFE.![](/Content/images/emotes/thumbdown.gif)
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@barbara7321 (240)
• United States
22 Nov 09
I think there should be no rules for chatting. Some days I feel like chatting, and other days I don't. Sometimes I chat with one friend, and then the next a different. I think that some people might spend too much time on the net, and should relax and do something else. After all, in real life we don't spend every waking second with our friends, chat should be the same. Peace!
@MadRooster (51)
• Portugal
22 Nov 09
Usually when someone adds me, I don't start a conversation.
I wait for them to say hi, hey or something like that.
If they added me just for adding why would I be boring them every time they log in?
I think there are no rules of chatting...
@kykidd (6812)
• United States
21 Nov 09
I don't know why it would matter to those people that you don't speak to them first. If they want to have a conversation with you, then they should just say "Hi" or ask you if you are busy. I know a lot of people who have there instant messengers up when they are at work, and I would never expect for them to just automatically say hi to me every time that I log on to the internet.
I wonder if there is a way that you can make yourself invisible to these people. Some of the messengers have an option to show your self as invisible to certain people unless you want to show yourself. I think that this might be the thing to do. Then again, I don't blame you for deleting them either.
Good luck with these relationships, and have a great day!
@weasel81 (2496)
• Australia
22 Nov 09
i don't think your being petty, it does get annoying when you have to start the conversation first. i don't use chat that much, most the time those who are on my list are people i don't really talk to unless i see them in person. if i want to talk to someone i will say hi, and let it go from there.
@khayshenz (1384)
• United States
21 Nov 09
I used to chat as much as you do - but not anymore. And yes, I used to have "rules" like you do and hated it when people break those said "rules." But you have to understand that they might have other rules - that are not conforming to yours. I think that you should just chill and don't berate yourself over such things. If they didn't say hi - you say hi. If they don't give you a hi back. Move on! Life is too short to stress over such things. And most importantly, chat is suppose to be fun. When you let people stress you out like that - it losses its charm. So just keep on having fun chatting - and screw 'em. ![](/Content/images/emotes/happy.gif)
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@ronnyb (6113)
• Jamaica
21 Nov 09
Well you made a very good point ,maybe they do have other rules that I didnt think about .I do say hi at first but then when I see thats the only way we get to talk then I stop and see hwo it goes but maybe I do need to chill.They arent really stressing me because its not very long before I eventually move on but I will take your advice and try to have some fun
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