If you love someone...

Philippines
November 22, 2009 7:16am CST
If you love someone would you care about his/her past. Does where the person come from matter to you? Would you still love the person knowing all the bad things from her/his past? Or what count is the present and what the persons promises to you?
12 responses
ckyera
@ckyera (17331)
• Philippines
22 Nov 09
hello careguarden! if i love someone, i will accept him for who he is, i will love him in his best and in his worst...just loving him unconditionally... just leave the past behind and just live for the present and look forward to the future... you know what? my husband, he's a perfect example for this...he accept me and my family despite the fact that we do have a not so nice family background and been through many problems and bad things in the past...he still loves me and marry me, even if most of his friends oppose, for they say, i am just not suits to him... and i am really thankful and feel blessed that he fought for me, accept me for who i am, love me and my family. love me on my best and love me more on my worst... now, things of the past don't bothers us, coz we just leave it behind and we are just enjoying our present life and looking forward for a better future... have a nice day! love conquers all...
ckyera
@ckyera (17331)
• Philippines
28 Nov 09
hello acie my dear bff! haha too many questions...hehe well, well i have experienced something like this that's why i can say that i can forgive & forget even if he committed something like that...haha but what happens to us is, well those 'cheating' moments happens when we are not yet married...huh! yeah it hurts knowing that he cheats on me after all that i have done for the relationship... but i don't know why, we still together till now! haha i even marry him! maybe that's what real love is... and maybe we are really just destined to be! hehe i can say that after that incidence happens, there's really some changes with the feelings...of course because we are angry...but love conquers all and time heals all wounds! hehe all those happens when we are not yet married...what more now that we are already married...i guess i can still forgive but will be more difficult to forget...
acie_21
@acie_21 (5633)
• Philippines
28 Nov 09
hi bff... will you still accept you husband even though he already committed a biggest sin to God...like cheating??? will you still love him just liked before?... and willing to change him for the sin that he committed?? are you ready to forgive and let it pass away??? if this situation happens.. what will you do?? does feeling change in your relationship?? or let it stay to save your marriage?? thanks! hope to see your reply! cheers!
Drsunny21
@Drsunny21 (556)
• India
22 Nov 09
I dont care about the past...I had experienced this thing but i m concerned wth her present only...Past doesnt matter..will count her promises and honesty...
careguarden
@careguarden (5670)
• Philippines
23 Nov 09
In some way we should not take consideration of the past, since it was over. But past mold the person and determine her/his character and attitude. But I have known someone who's deeply in love with the person, who has bad experienced, and came from a dysfunctional family. She thought that he's a good person and past was past, until they got married and learned that the person she's in love with and thought to be someone she know was completely different. She was abused in every way, and almost ruin her life. That was then I learned that the past is really matter. Anyway thank you for sharing with us and enjoy your day!
Drsunny21
@Drsunny21 (556)
• India
23 Nov 09
Ya ur rght at ur point...The girl i loved has also a past and from tht past her nature and as their was effect of past on her...but still i loved her and i had tried my best to take her out of all this and i was successful.Definitely she is not wth me as a lover but as a frnd still she is wth me...and i m happy for her....I m concern wth er happiness...Hope she lives a happy life...
my_name_is_coco
@my_name_is_coco (4333)
• Philippines
23 Nov 09
when you love someone,his/her past doesn't matter.whatever his/her mistakes won't be important.you will think about today.you will think how s/he is now.you will see how his/her experiences made who s/he is now.you will look forward on a future with him/her.as they say,whatever happens in the past,it is history.
careguarden
@careguarden (5670)
• Philippines
23 Nov 09
Yeah, you have your valid point. We should only look at the present. Past is over and done there's nothing we can do about it. But there's one thing I could say, if the person has a terrible past, like witnessing his parents kill each other, or being abused by his/her parents,or siblings in one way or another. And especially if the person was not undergone any therapy or counseling, That's a red flag that you should consider, before jumping on settling with the person. Anyway thank you for sharing with us and enjoy your day!
x_Jo_x
@x_Jo_x (1040)
•
22 Nov 09
I guess for me it depends on what the past is exactly. If its something very bad, or something that could affect me then i'd want to know about it. Stuff like who they went out with before i dont really need to know. My ex was really violent and abusive to me and if i was the next girl who he goes out with i would want to know that he had been able to do that to someone. I think if youve made mistakes in the past you should be able to hold your hands up and admit them. Id rather someone was open with me from the start and told me all the good and bad things, rather than months later all these things slowely start creaping out the closet
careguarden
@careguarden (5670)
• Philippines
23 Nov 09
Yeah, it depends on what is the past. Especially what they been going through during their childhood and how they grown up, the kind of life they live onto and everything. Because it has psychological effects on him/her. There are so many people who are trapped on a violent and abusive relationship because they overlook the persons past, past does matter. It will give you an idea and knowledge how to deal with the person. Anyway thank you for sharing with us and enjoy your day!
paul_original
@paul_original (72)
• Japan
22 Nov 09
careguarden, as long as the other person is honest with me and tell me about her past, then it would be my decision to accept her past. afterall, it seems that everyone in this world have past experiences that are not very good and its part of life. what i wouldn't accept is that when we are already in the relationship and the other person is not honest with me in the first place, and i will discover her past only after some time.. then i don't think i will be able to accept her past.
careguarden
@careguarden (5670)
• Philippines
23 Nov 09
Well honesty is very important. And yeah the person should be open to his/her past, nothing should be left secret. Since in the long run whatever happened we can't help not to look back the persons past and connect his/her behavior and attitude. Anyway thank you for sharing with us and enjoy your day!
MJAL08
@MJAL08 (275)
•
23 Nov 09
Actually if i love that person, i don't care. I love for who he is and not of what he has or has done. I keep looking forward instead of grieving over what was already done. The past is only a memory, its done and it will never come back. The future is a vision The present is treasure, what happens now will affect the future
gentlezee
@gentlezee (41)
• Nigeria
23 Nov 09
My dear that is very true, those who always think of the past and always use it against one never move ahead, but as you rightly said thinking ahead is the best and the present state of things matters most,a great reasoning there. For i believe to have a good relationship one should never think of the past of another.takia
dpk262006
@dpk262006 (58678)
• Delhi, India
27 Nov 09
Hi! If I love someone, his/her past is not important to me because I cannot change his/her past and I was not a party to it. I am concerned about the present of the person and how s/he behaves with me and how s/he treats me. Building relations from the present would be priority for me, leaving aside his/her past.
rimarima
@rimarima (80)
• Philippines
22 Nov 09
Loving someone is accepting her for who he was, who he is and who will he be. His past helped mold or influence whoever he has become now so whatever it is, you should learn to accept it. If you look at him and still see his past, you are not in love with him. You are just toying with the idea that you are in love.
Craicha
@Craicha (801)
•
22 Nov 09
will since i accept and love these person..so it means i already knows who he is but i still love him..bcoz i love him of what he is not what he got....
gentlezee
@gentlezee (41)
• Nigeria
23 Nov 09
If that lady realize her past was bad and have truly changed i dont mind because every human being have his or her past and change is very constant in life. Its better to to fall in love with some one who realized mistakes than falling in love with some who will be very funny. And the issue of where she comes from does not count at all. Love is law coz law cant over come love.
scoutsniper85
@scoutsniper85 (432)
•
23 Nov 09
loving takes risk..If I love someone, I would not care about his/her past.what matters me most is that he/she loves me for what I am..
madteaparty
@madteaparty (2748)
• Japan
28 Nov 09
My boyfriend's past is pretty cool, so that makes me like him even more. Even so, I don't think that if he had a bad past I would like him less. The past is already gone, and we have to concentrate in what we have now!