Do you think confinement month is important for woman?
By vingyan06
@vingyan06 (2486)
Malaysia
November 23, 2009 9:42am CST
Chinese mothers will undergo a one month period known as the confinement period. During this month, the new mother will have to eat certain nutritious food to renourish the body. This period is also known as confinement because there are a lot of do's and don'ts, especially for Chinese. For those who don't have their mother or mother-in-laws to help out, we would have to hire a `Confinement Lady'. A confinement lady is normally a lady in the age range of late forties to early fifties, experienced in handling new infants, a knowledge of what a new mother would need and what the mother is not supposed to do.
Their duties include cooking for the mother and taking care of the baby for the next 28 to 30 days.
Finding a confinement lady is always a concern and finding a good and understanding confinement lady is like looking for treasure. Most of the time, finding a confinement lady is through word of mouth recommendation although there are several agencies that are also offering confinement services.
So do you think confinement month is important?
3 people like this
23 responses
@JamesKYTan (1605)
• Malaysia
23 Nov 09
Confinement period is important not only among the Chinese, Malays or Indians, it is also important in the West.Some Western countries give 60-day paid confinement leave
for the mother. During this period the mother needs plenty of rest to recuperate.
The mother needs nutritious food to replenish and nourish her whole being. She is not allowed to do work or carry heavy. Rest and Rest. Plenty of Rest.
2 people like this
@vingyan06 (2486)
• Malaysia
30 Nov 09
Hi james,
thanks for your response. Yes, I know confinement month is important for a woman to carry out the rest day for her body. For Chinese is the most particular, we not only not to carry heavy things, some more they have more things to follow, more food can't eat. Some even stop taking bath for the whole confinement month.
@anniege (202)
• China
24 Nov 09
Hi Vingyan. I am a new mum from China.
I can share my exprience with you all. After I gave birth to my daughter, I had 4 months paid leave . Even my daughter is already 7months, I have 1hour each day to go back home to milk my daughter.
In the past,if a woman was in confinement month, she would not be allowed to have bath or shower,washing hair ,brush teeth.It is said that if they do the above things ,they will suffer pains when they are getting old. Even now in rural place, they continue the tradition. Of course, I dont't think it is correct idea. I took shower and washed hair one week later. But keeping warm is realy importment.
During my confinement, I had a stomachache and must go to hospital. You know what. On the way to hospital,I was wrapped up with cloth.People can only saw my eyes. It is said that,in confinement, woman can't be blown by wind.
Culture is different and i really enjoy share with you here.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
23 Nov 09
hi oh yes I can imagine for Chinese women it would be really
important. We do not have this custom in our country but it
sounds very practical. we do get a lot of information when we
are first pregnant from our doctors on all the things we should and should not do. I can see where this would be most comforting
to first mothers as they do not really know what its all about yet.Here in the US we generally look to our mothers or grandmothers for help for the first time. I am a senior citizen now but I did have two children many years back.
1 person likes this
@thea09 (18305)
• Greece
23 Nov 09
Hi vingyan, this is interesting as back in the UK I had a Chinese friend who was expected to go along with being confined for a month, as in not leaving the house, but was still expected to get on with things around the house, unless she was prepared to let her mother in law stay which she didn't want, as a very interfering type. She was onto the second baby when I knew her and didn't ask if things had been different the first time, but she saw it more of an obligation to do it than her own wishes, who could blame her, it was summer and she wanted to be able to push the pram around in the fresh air.
I could understand the tradition more as it applied to custom but I'll never forget the one part of not being allowed to bathe for a month which I thought was total nonsense in the modern age with indoor bathrooms, rather than in the freezing north of China. I think in that case modern hygiene standards should have prevailed over tradition.
Most in the west though just have to get on with things without having anyone to look after them.
1 person likes this
@Sweetchariot (1718)
• United States
23 Nov 09
It is interesting to hear what customs go on in other countries. However, here in the states, we rely on family members to help us - such as our own mothers, older siblings, and even our Husbands. It is very important for most of us to bond with our new babies, so having someone else take care of them for a month, doesn't seem right. Basically, our husbands help us with the night feedings, even if they have to go to work the next day...after all, they are the fathers too. When it comes to learning how to take care of the newborn, that's when our mothers come in handy. They show us what we need to learn. The rest we need after giving birth, should only be a week. For most new mothers, they can get around after that.
@MysticTomatoes (1053)
• United States
11 May 10
My husband's parents live in Texas. Mine live here in California. My husband's parents didn't even see our DD in person until a few months after she was born. I did thank God every day that during the first few days after I was home from the hospital that my mother was here with me.
@mythociate (21432)
• Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
20 Jan 13
Yes, because a 'mother' is a different kind of woman. As any good Method actor knows, you have to spend sometime 'practicing being a new role,' before you can "become the role."
@maximax8 (31046)
• United Kingdom
24 Nov 09
I think that the confinement period is ideal for Chinese women. They are able the rest and recover from the birth. Cooking for her will give her healthy meals and caring for her baby will give her some well earned rest. It is likely that the confinement month gives the new month a positive start to parenthood.
I know that many ladies can have a demanding and tiring birth. I know I did when I had my baby girl. I was so tired due to a severe loss of blood. I felt weak and kept fainting. I went into a high dependency unit in hospital and when I came out I found life exhausting. I was lucky that my mom gave me much support for six weeks after my baby was born.
@sminut13 (1783)
• Singapore
11 Jan 10
it's the same for us as well. we too have a confinement period, but our elders in fact say that if we can stay in confinement for at least 3 months, that would be even better. but that's of course hard, with the situation and all.
for us, we don't hire a confinement lady. if our mothers or mother in laws are not here, then it's up to our husbands to take good care of us for a month if possibe, if not 2 weeks a must. hehe in my case, my hubby was the one who took care of me.
it's said by our elders, that we really need to take care of ourselves during the confinement period as when we are older, we might get sick more easily. they even bar us from using cold water during that one month. and we have to eat rice at least 3 times or even better, 4 times-_-" us new mothers job would just be to feed our baby. the rest would be done by our husbands.^_^
@bellis716 (4799)
• United States
25 Nov 09
The idea of a confinement month is a new one for me, but I think it is an absolutely fabulous idea. I would have loved to have had someone there to help when I brought my babies home. I was 25 years old when our first child was born, but I knew absolutely nothing about babies. I learned by trial and error. It is a wonder that he survived. When our second child was born, I was a little older and a little wiser, but I was also more tired. My husband took a 3 day pass to take care of our 3 year old son until I came home from the hospital with our daughter. We were kept in the hospital an extra day because the baby jaundiced, or I would have been home sooner. I had an infant and a 3 year old to care for as well as all the normal household duties and no disposable diapers. There were diaper services available, but we couldn't afford them. A confinement month lady would have been like heaven to me.
@celticeagle (166757)
• Boise, Idaho
24 Nov 09
It really sounds like a good idea. I think before the baby comes is very important but hadn't given alot of thought to the mother and the period after the baby is born. This sounds like a very good idea and something to seriously think about. Sounds like another excellent Chinese custom.
@vivianchen (2646)
• China
24 Nov 09
Hi Vingyan,
I am a chinese, so i understand what you are talking about. Personal idea, i think confinement period is important for a mother just gave birth to a child, because your body will need to recover, and you will need to good rest. It was saying that if you don't take care of your body during this confinement month, when you grow old, your body will hurt. I think i will believe it and have a good rest. 
@climber7565 (2579)
• United States
3 Dec 09
I am not sure you are offering enough information to help me share my opinion as to whether confinement month is important. I read that while one person is engage in those traditional duties during confinement month, its important to have capable person cover the house and family duties in the mean time. I would love to know why do women have to observe such tradition.
@amykok (13)
• Malaysia
10 May 10
Yes, confinement month is very very important for woman. As this is the time for those 'weak" woman to recuperate. Previously i did not believe all this but i now yes. The complexion will be look nice after the confinment month. During the confinment month, we need to eat a lot of 'heaty" and nutrition stuff in order to replenish the weak body .
@danishcanadian (28953)
• Canada
24 Nov 09
I think it is important that the mother has some help, but she should not be out of the picture alltogether. it is important that the mother bonds with her baby, and her older children if she has them. I think the lady's help would be nice, but I don't think the Confinement lady should take over all the tasks of the mother, because the mother needs that time with her kids, especially when the baby is young.
@drannhh (15219)
• United States
24 Nov 09
Yes, I think it is a good way to ensure that the new mother gets proper nourishment and rest. These things are very important. However, the practical reality is that often a young couple cannot afford this service and so some might view it as a luxury rather than a necessity. Certainly it is different now than when farm wives were cutting hay in the fields right up to the hour of birth and then expected to go on as if nothing had happened afterward.
Certainly, the first few months are highly important in a child's development.
@margerydaw14 (735)
•
23 Nov 09
sounds absolutely marvellous!!! when my son was born, I was living with my in laws, and had the unfortunate experience of mother in law, grandmother in law, brother in law and sister in law overseeing me. Your confinement lady sounds superb. my own mum lived miles away, and suffered with travel sickness, but bless her, she did make the effort to come and see me in hospital along with my dad. So 100% i agree, confinement month is the ideal start for a new mum, who needs a confidence booster to start her on the long long road to motherhood. 
@Fulltank (2882)
• Philippines
23 Nov 09
As you have said, finding a confinement lady is like looking for treasure. I'm sure it becomes a job in your country. I guess its a tradition in your country and is really a good one. But my concern is that what if you cannot find a confinement lady? or one does not enough money to pay her?
@monkeylong (3139)
• Guangzhou, China
24 Nov 09
eah, I do think it is so important for a woman who will have a baby,which the time should be given the best vare of. I think the time will have a lot of happinees for you will be a mother ,the greatest positon in the world. On the other hand ,there will be some pains ,too. In a whole , it is so wonderful. Happy mylot.
@echostone542 (53)
• China
24 Nov 09
Chinese people think that the woman's body is fragile after giving birth to a baby, so she will be took very good care for the whole month. also for the baby. after this first month, both the mom and the baby, will be much more strengthened. My mom and our twin sisters were under the good care of my grandma, mom even don't give birth to us in the hospital, just in my grandma's house. At that time, we don't have so good condition. but we are ok now, very healthy. But mom really didn't have good nutrition at that time, so she is fragile when she grows older.
