What's your take on this?
By calai618
@calai618 (1773)
Philippines
November 26, 2009 8:07am CST
Me and a guy friend had a chat about random things and we came to a point where we discussed romantic relationships. He believes that guys find it harder to accept if their girl cheats on them than girls if their guy cheats on them. I tried analyzing his view and it seemed like he has a point because he argues that it is harder for a guy to commit to a relationship than girls so if a guy finally decides to be in a serious relationship, he expects his girl to be his forever. That is why if the girl suddenly cheats on him, he feels betrayed and more hurt. He said that girls, on the contrary, are already aware that guys are capable of cheating so if their guy does cheat, it is somewhat acceptable (or at least easier to comprehend). Guys, he said, by nature is afraid of commitment so if he finally commits, it is very hard to let go.
What's you take on this?
Do you really believe that it's harder for guys to accept that their girl is cheating on them? Is it really easier for girls to accept that the guy is cheating because it's a widely known notion that guys find it hard to resist other girls? Is there some scientific proof or a psychological study regarding this? I hope to hear views from both guys and girls.
5 people like this
10 responses
@notlsra (25)
• India
27 Nov 09
Well since you asked about studies related to this...
i happened to read a book by Barbara & Allan Pease...
"Why men don't listen & women can't read maps"
also John Gray's Men are from Mars, Women are from venus"
Basically these books suggest that men and women are diffrent.
With a historical perspective men were the hunters while women tended to be home defenders... these basic job descriptions have made them behave the way they do.
What I feel being a guy myself..is that even though men are scientifically more 'licentious' that doesn't count as a valid reason for a girl to find it easy to accept the fact that she's being cheated on. Things like romance and love dont really follow 'scientific' norms, and frankly, your guy friend is wrong in thinking that women will take cheating easier. I'd feel that rather guys might find it easier...but then again, I would'nt make generalisations...each individual is different and each one will react differently.
1 person likes this
@WBtheMP3guy (227)
• United States
27 Nov 09
Well said, dude, but I still hold with the definition that it isn't cheating unless you're married. The simple definition is that men are hunters and women are gatherers. All the liberal attempts to change this have done nothing except confuse the issue. Caused gender wars, and taught women that men are to be treated more like animals rather than respected as providers for the home.
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
26 Nov 09
Sounds like alot of b/s to me. Everyone involved is hurt when someone cheats. noone should cheat just get out of the realationship before u cheat.
@cream97 (29086)
• United States
26 Nov 09
Hi, calabi18! My belief on this is that either one, male or female can have it hard getting over someone. It can go either way. We all have the same organ and that is a heart. When it gets broken, either gender can experience a deeper wound. To say that, women are acceptable that men will cheat, well I am not that woman in this category. I expect my man to not cheat on me. I will not accept anything less. If I am faithful, I expect him to be the same. If he can not live up to this option, then we can no longer be together. Any heart /mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Calai618. Either way it goes a heart can be broken. Gender does not matter. As a woman I am not acceptable to my man cheating on me either. If I am faithful, I expect him to be faithful as well. If he can't be then he needs to depart from me and everything that we ever knew together.
$
@celticeagle (168126)
• Boise, Idaho
28 Nov 09
I think men are almost expected to cheat. SOme women are just looking for it. If they don't state how they feel about it and vice versa then it leaves the can open and the worms easy ascess. I think alot of reason for cheating is not discussing it when you get into a relationship with someone. And, if you show yourself to be someone who lets things go then men push until that is the next step and they figure it will be overlooked. Self respect goes a long way in keeping cheating out of the mix. And if women have any self respect they can tell a man who is libal to cheat from a man who respects her and treats her right. This goes both ways.
@WBtheMP3guy (227)
• United States
27 Nov 09
First off, this whole notion of a "commited relationship" is false. It's only a commited relationship, and therefore "cheating" if you're married. anything else, and you're a free agent, whether you be male or female. Stop thinking in the liberal term of commitment, and follow what the dictionary says it is. Relationships come and go, until you find that person you're willing to spend the rest of your life with in that "commited relationship" called marriage. Everything else is just fishing for that "record catch".
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
29 Nov 09
Well, I am a female and I honestly don't think that I could accept it if I found out that my man was cheating on me. I feel like that if I was to commit myself to a relationship then the other party that is involved should be just as committed to the relationship as I am. I realize that it is more in a man's nature to cheat because the second head tends to only think about reproduction, but as humans I think that it is best to mate for life.
@Lakota12 (42600)
• United States
26 Nov 09
can only go by me.
When I found my x cheating I gave him the boot but then went back to him and we moved to a different state hmmmm thought that would change him!? NOOOOOOOOOOoo way.
So when I started going with my 2nd hubby and soul mate took me along time to trust him.
years.
@eshaan (6188)
• India
26 Nov 09
i never thought about this...but yes..it maybe the fact that as the men have that nature, getting involved with other girls easily, maybe the girls are already prepared for such things...but sometimes i think that women are more jealous and they wont be bale to digest easily that their man cheats them....dont know whats the exact fact..in figures and counting..but i think u r right that males once committed take it to heart too much...
@savypat (20216)
• United States
26 Nov 09
I think you are talking about a relationship outside of marriage? Right, I can only tell you how I feel when someone cheats on me, I feel totally betrayed and I loose all respect for the guy, he can never gain my trust again. It seems to me the proper way to go outside the relationship is to be up front and discuss it with your partner rather than just doing it and hoping you will not get caught. I know that guys feel first and then think but if you are in a relationship with me, it will only happen once, I want to be first in your mind no matter what the circumstances are. I would hold you in my mind as first. So no it hurts both parties equally.
@PeacefulWmn9 (10420)
• United States
26 Nov 09
I do not think it's easy for anyone, male or female, to accept cheating. Both genders are equally capable of doing so...and both find it equally hard to accept or to get over the hurt!
Karen