I do not hope to make any online friends.
By VANILLAREY
@VANILLAREY (1470)
India
November 26, 2009 11:19am CST
That is true. After countless efforts I have given up on making online friends. I might meet people and send a few messages. But it is likely to be for just exchanging information and not due to friendship.
I started surfing a long time ago. From the start I was interested in making online friends. Tried many chatting sites and a few dating sites. There was some very bad experiences in chatting. I once used a username which seemed like a girls name and suddenly there were many people interested in chatting with me.
The funny thing is I make friends easily in real life.
4 people like this
26 responses
@thuynhu (661)
• United States
26 Nov 09
it's not usually easy to make friends online. i use to be able to make some friends online when i was younger but nowadays, everyone who's online is trying to make money. so they don't seem to have time to have a real conversation unless it has to do with making money. but that's funny to know that once you changed your name to a female name then people became interested in talking to you. and that's good you make friends easily in real life, i'm sure that counts a lot more than making them online, cause i'm the same way i have plenty of friends in real life.
2 people like this
@VANILLAREY (1470)
• India
27 Nov 09
Nowadays people do seem to make friendship for certain need of theirs.
@yourlankanfriend (156)
• Australia
27 Nov 09
I have to agree with you, making online friends is not as easy as making friends in real life. I think the definition of 'friends' in an online context is different to the term in our daily lives. For instance the interactions that you have with 'friends' online is certainly different to that of friends in real life, you do not meet these friends, do not go to the movies, have drinks etc you merely talk to them online comment on their interests etc. Do hope to have online friends? Well as I said my hope to make friends is not the hope that I have to makes friends in real life. I accept that I probably will never meet the friends that make online, and will adapt my expectations to that fact.
1 person likes this
@VANILLAREY (1470)
• India
27 Nov 09
Well that could be one of the reasons why people do not take online friendship seriously. Good point.
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
26 Nov 09
hi vanillarey thats sad as we all need friends but yet some friends on the internet are not just what they seem to be too.
I think you have a nice talent to be able to make friends easily
in real life.it comes through in your discussions that I have
answered.in real life I am very shy and find it hard to make friends but when I do I a m very loyal and my friends stay friends for years. Count me in as a friend,okay?
1 person likes this
@VANILLAREY (1470)
• India
27 Nov 09
Good to hear that you have friends who stay with you for years.
@mentalward (14690)
• United States
26 Nov 09
Hi Vanillarey. The trouble with online is that our true personalities can't show through the written words. I mean, it's impossible to look someone in the eyes or read body language. I honestly believe that the only way to make true friends is in person. You can believe you have online friends but can't truly know them until you've spent time with them in person.
Also, we hear about more and more horror stories of people meeting people in person after meeting them online. Too many times, people are not what we think they are. It is very easy to hide our true selves behind words on a computer screen. I think people are more skeptical about people they know only online these days.
I'm happy with my online friendships, although I don't place them in the same category as I do my real life friends. I like the jokes I receive from them in emails and getting advice from them when needed. But, it's really only your real-life friends who are always there for you at the drop of a hat.
I'm not saying that there aren't some really great people online, though. I've known some who would give their last penny to an online friend if that friend needed it. But, they are few and far between. You just can't really know people online as well as you can know them in person.
I used to chat but, because of all the nonsense that is usually bantered back and forth and the few really intelligent people in chatrooms, I stopped. Besides, I've met a few people that I met from chat and most were nothing like what they seemed to be online.
I have to tell you about a username I had once. EVERYONE stopped chatting with me when I used this name, both male and female: IDontDoCyberSex.
@VANILLAREY (1470)
• India
27 Nov 09
You have said everything about friendship, online and offline. You should publish it.
Last lines were funny.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
26 Nov 09
I've actually been very lucky in my life in that I haven't had a problem with making online friends. It was about eight years ago that I met my husband online and we've now been married for five years and we have two children. I also met a great group of ladies online when I was pregnant with my second child and I've met some of them in person as well. For me it has been an overall good experience although I will also admit that there are some bad eggs out there.
1 person likes this
@VANILLAREY (1470)
• India
27 Nov 09
Earlier every other person did not have a computer and internet connection. And internet started off as a place to exchange information and knowledge. People were also truly interested in meeting people online.
Now many crooked people know that internet is a good place for them.
@j3mz28 (9)
• Philippines
26 Nov 09
hi vanilla, i tried to make friends online as well before. but i realized i really don't need that many friends as long as i have at least one true friend. last time i checked, i have at least 4 true friends. it's both easy and hard making firends in real life. but one thing is for sure, it's totally worth it.
@VANILLAREY (1470)
• India
27 Nov 09
So I am not the only one who found it hard to make friends online.
@DARSHAN_SPI (88)
• India
27 Nov 09
YA. ME TOO. ITS NOT A GOOD I DEA TO MAKE FRIENDS WITHOUT SEEIN THEM:p
@celticeagle (168269)
• Boise, Idaho
28 Nov 09
What is it that you expect in these online 'friends'? Some one to hang out with? Chat with on an ongoing basis? Someone to confide in? I think as far as online friends go these things are asking a bit much. And, you may be trying too hard. I have been on Mylot for about a year and have only over the last few months really come together with several friends on here. So I know it happens. Maybe the stars just aren't in alinement for you yet. Haha.
@ronnyb (6113)
• Jamaica
27 Nov 09
Wow maybe you need to try a site named tagged ,people are fairly friendly there .I have pver two hundred on line friends and I even hve some more friends here as well.Making online friends is never easy .Dont get me wrong I have met some unsavourary characters but for the most part I have met some nice people there.Dont give up on making online friedns just persist
@zenrat1984 (86)
• Norway
26 Nov 09
I know what you say is true.I always only exchange link with people.I also ask them to stay in contact with me so that we can build a friendship and help each other but that never happens.
1 person likes this
@VANILLAREY (1470)
• India
27 Nov 09
The same thing happened to me also. Few stay in contact then don't seem to be keen to continue.
@birdlady41465 (223)
• United States
26 Nov 09
So sorry to hear you feel this way for right now going through what I am I could not deal with it without my online friends for they are more then helpful and there to talk but also come and see and help me as well. I have one friend in another state that wants to come and help me with my problems and have excepted his help just waiting on him to get a way here. Another online friend who actually have met before is always calling to check to make sure I am ok and if it was not for them I would probably go insane. Maybe you had a few bad experiences but don't that get you down there are more then one good person out there that will be a friend in the end or when it counts from online. Good luck in your friendship hunt.
@VANILLAREY (1470)
• India
27 Nov 09
Good to hear about your friendship story.
I should not let my online life affect my real life.
@Baluyadav (3643)
• India
26 Nov 09
hi,friend,may be you forgotten,you are the second member who sent me friend request when i joined in mylot just 3 months back...but after your friend request,37 members sent friend requests and 17 gone away from mylot.I can say proudly that i had atleast 8 close friends on online..sharing everything..guiding each other in on line earnings...attending every discussion..exchanging personal mail I.D's..what not,just meaning for true on line friends..
Think once why you come to this conclusion..where the fault was..things will set right.All the best and have a nice day.
Of course you may attract friends more in person with some additional qualifications like nice talking..smiley receiving..etc..
@danitykane (3183)
• Philippines
27 Nov 09
hi vanillarey,haha..that's funny..girl username?.. I was hooked with chatting sites before especially, when I was still studying. It was like a fun thing to do on my vacant time...but right now, I am not really active in chatting sites. I rarely communicate online with people I really don't know. I choose to spend my time doing other stuff, but there are also situations wherein you can find great pals online!Stay cool, alright!? lol..
Happy lotting!
@VANILLAREY (1470)
• India
27 Nov 09
I also found it funny when people were coming to chat in numbers.
@royale11 (3)
• India
25 Jan 10
well, frnds believe me that once u hv got the way to manage the situations, than u will not say like this..but perhaps it can hurt som1 too as in urs!!
so. in my opinion u shud make the frnds only if u can easily cope up wid tha challenges n can tackle the situations effectively!!
@ersmommy1 (12588)
• United States
27 Nov 09
I hope you don't give up. I have made some nice friends online. And have learned a few things from them too. Keep trying. sooner or later you will have a nice group of online buddies.
@ladym33 (10979)
• United States
27 Nov 09
Many people on here are just looking to exchange information and there is nothing wrong with that. If you are not out to make friends that is fine. I have made several aquaintences on line over the years, and probably only a couple I would consider friends outside of the sites we are on together, I have several I consider to be certain site friends and I care about them, I am sad when they are having troubles. But will I ever meet anyone of them probably not.
@undecoverbro (96)
• India
27 Nov 09
No ones intrested to know if u make or dont make friends in ur real life, when your online nobody cares about your personal life everyones here to chat and make friends and have a good and a fun time online, if your a person who is not looking for any of that please dont be here and plz dont tell others what u are or did in your personal life !
Thanks !
@corrycrystal (1775)
• Malaysia
27 Nov 09
Hi, Vanilla!
I don't find making online friends are easy either, but when I started to blog a few years back, there were some bloggers that have just started like me. We have been following each others' blogs and have actually become my blog buddies until now. I think it's much easier making friends online that way because when we read their personal posts in their blogs as if we have already known them for a while. That's what I think...