After all these years, I'm still hurting

proxima i read all the comments and responses to your(this) discussion.. and i realize one thing that your very much in love with him whether he is with you or not.. even if you gather confidence and move on to someone else also.. you cant throw this guy out of your heart because he has mixed in your blood, mind and heart.. my opinion is try your level best to bring him back into your life.. if necessary beg him to be back. because, i don't want you to suffer life long thinking about his.. your's is true love and its not infatuation or need.. who knows maybe god is testing your depth of love on him.. travel the way and your destination should be achieving him in your life again.. all the best and i pray to god that he gives him to you..

You must admit the fact that you and him is not compatible each other. Because as you said you still love the guy. Let him go, and counted the past is past. I know you love the guy. But what I don't understand is that your not strong enough for challenge. Be strong in whatever it take into your life. How if you find another like your ex-bf? Then your parents didn't agree on it. What you will do? Don't worry you will find the right guy for you, proxima. Love is all around...

I think you have to release him now and let him go. Now he has his own life and also you. He has new girlfriend , it means that he is ready to leave you and move his own life. So you have to move your own life also. thinking of him with his girlfriend is just wasting your time. He is still thinking of you now while he is with her girlfriend? I guess not. He is busy with his new girlfriend now. You have to move forward and find your new love also. you deserve it. I wish you luck :)

the main reason why you tend to not finding the next person who'll give you that spark is because you're still attached with your old love. find somebody whom you can love not basing your former love's attitude or whatsoever! move on and accept the fact that you can't have him back and no matter how you fight for him, it's still considered wrong for the benefit of religion.

Hi, Proxima. Do you think you've idealised this ex? Like, you've built him up, into this absolutely perfect person, whereas the reality is, he's as flawed and imperfect as the rest of us. We've all, at some point, thought "what if?", and when we have these daydreams, we imagine that it would be perfect and amazing, we don't let ourselves think that maybe it wouldn't have been so perfect after all! And if you actually did get together with him, it would probably be a disappointment! I think you have yet to meet "the one". Take care of you first. Go out with your friends, and fill your life up with interesting hobbies and events, and the right guy will gravitate toward you. Good luck!

Hi ur situation remember me of mine...Coz my gf also told me tht she cant be wth me coz her parents will not allow,she says tht..She even didnt ask her parents coz she is afraid....I love her much and i know aftr passing 1-2 years she will realize this..As you she will be in the same situation...Please now try to control ur feelings....and now dont get upset,may be god has planned some other for you...You knw i m worried of this only..But i had lived evrythng on God....God Bless you

dey...it will be hard instead of looking out for him...just let ur feeling go and be with someone u knw already and going with someone new...someone who knws abt him...so that u can talk abt him to this guy huh...

That is one of the reason I do not like religion. It tears people apart, ruins relationships, causes people to disagree. Some people are lucky and allow it to bring peacefulness and love into their lives, but for many it causes conflict such as this.

I have experienced similar heart break and I found it almost impossible to move on for years afterwards. I got over the person but not the hurt he caused me and I guess for me I didn’t have a proper sense of closure…Regardless of the circumstances the time has to come for you to move on and let go of someone who was not right for you in the first place! My advice is not to waste years of your life like I did pining over someone who was just not meant to be. I am now happily married and had I hung on to my pain and my ex I would have missed out on meeting the right person for me and don’t forget that experiences like these teach you what you DON’T want the next time around. Good luck to you, I wish healing and happiness…

Proxi i might sound a bit bitter but i dont know how you are going to take this if you manage to read this well and good if not then i hope you make a wise decesion all i would say is irespective of knowing how old you are all i would say is if he really loved you and still loves you he should have fought for you even though you told him your breaking up with him now the thing is he is still single and has a g/f forget his g/f guys will have a g/f today and marry some cute fat chick with a fat sack full of money so g/f isent an issue the thing is you still love him crazy all you got to do it go to him and ask him first if he wants to marry you Dont go to him and tell him that you still are crazy about him dont tell him you love him first, first ask him if he still likes you and wants you the same way he wanted you 5 years back if hes going to say i have to think about it and all that crap just ask him how long should i wait for the reply he would give you a time if he dosent even then dont tell him you still want him back admit it only when he tells you he loves you more than you love him. The reason why im not asking you to tell him how you feel before he admits is it because if your gonna tell him you still love him he will say yes i still love you if he hasent found anyone better than you, cause he knows who you really are and he knows no other gurl is going to take care of him better than you so he would obviously say yes even if he dosent love you if he wants to have a happy married life cause he knows you will do anything cause you love him alot, so wait till he tell you he wants you back and if he is going to ask you if you still love him then you can say how you feel about him, but till then dont tell him how you feel All i would tell you is this once you have set your mind on marrying someone or being with someone you can marry anyone else but the things you will feel after marrying somone else will be like dieing every day and i dont advice you or that guy to marry someone who u dident picture yourselves being with if you do you will die everyday you will emotionally die everyday you wont have love your marriage with that someone else would be in ruins and you would not only ruin you happines but also make that other person who you dident intend to marry be unhappy and i dont want both of you guys to do that so go and ask him what he still thinks of you and if he still thinks of you the same and if he still wants to be with you And my sincier advice would be marry the person you pictured yourself to marry and who you wanted to marry no matter w/e cast relegion creed even age they may be white black i dont give a damn if you wanted to be with that blond guy or that blond chick and pictured yourself marrying them just do it hope it works out for you guys and please excuse me if i said anything wrong Go Get Him Gurl(Stop Being A Wuss) Peace !

Hi proxima14,I know how you feel.It was so painful for you.Any way, 5 years are long enough,it's time to move on.Enjoy life,Past is Past,what is important is to move on,find another guy that loves you.I think Your boy friend before doesn't love you any more because he did not fight for you.Besides,he had another girlfriend now.Wake up,just move on,time will come pain will heal.Good Luck!

Hi there. First of all, I would like to give you the kudos for sharing this experience with us. It was courageous of you to do so.In order for you to be healed from your pain, you need to let it all out. It is sad to know that you have lost some one you love due to religious conflict. It hurts at first because you loved him and invested so much time, effort and your emotions as well. You need to express and grieve for the loss. Cry. Throw a plate against the wall.Write a journal about it and then burn it. Do anything that would get the anger out inside of you. And then move on with your life. Do the things you love or you're passionate about. It will take time before the heart can forget, but I am sure that you can do it. Don;t give up. There is still someone out there for you.

hello proxima.. i can feel your pain.. literally.. well yeah i guess i was also so in love with my girlfriend that when we broke up year ago i cant seem to let her go that easy.. but you know what?? everyday of your life that you overcome being away from him can make you stronger.. you see you just think that you still need him and is hurting (so did i then) but come to think of it we stood our ground uptil now so i think we are really strong.. and you know what else? we can prove to them that we are better persons and that we are not that weak.. try to keep busy.. it worked for me until just last week when i had my last post about my ex here in mylot and i learned to let her go finally.. i felt relieved and i also feel sad.. but i think it was worth it.. people like them dont deserve our love for them

Hi Proxima, i understand how you are feeling. I have been in that scenario wherein i was not able to fight the feelings that i have for someone i loved and long for. It really hurts. But you what i did to cope up with those emotional strees? i keep myself busy with work.. And i relay my problems to God and ask for his guidance. Try to move on and let go of that feelings that wasn't really meant for you. Just enjoy life to the fullest..

let him go. you do have different valued coz of religion. if he really loves you, he will give up his religion too. however given the situation that he already have a girlfriend meant that he had moved-on and you also have to move-on. help yourself. pray. Goodluck!

proxima14, I am not going to ask you to try and find a place back in his arms and I just would not want to consider your mother's relent as a sign of acceptance if your next boyfriend is to be of the same religion as your ex. I would suggest that you accept this break up, let yourself go and start anew by moving on. There's just no point in staying status quo and miss out another one who equally or loves you even more. Let me just add a few words of wisdom here as you contemplate another relationship which might have the same quagmire. No offense as I am coming from the angle where humans are being creatures of habit and what I have to say will open another perspective at your end. First and foremost, Don't take up that challenge if you are not prepared to leap flames, get trashed from other's perspective and constantly having to defend your relationship. People THINK that such relationship will not be able to make it because the hurdles are real and arduous. If deep love existed, the problems are still manageable. If one conviction and love is feeble, you can have the same skin colour, race, religion, status and whatever thingy that segment our society - things just won't work out. How long do you want to live under your parent's ideology of what they reckon life is best for you? Even the young birds must one day flap their wings and leave their comfortable nest in search of food for themselves - you will one day fall in love and start a family in the future. These are major decisions in life which you must learn to be responsible for and ultimately learn what's best for yourself based on your own failure and experience. Should you fail, you must fail with your own hands and not disrupted by nefarious plots others or society had instilled into your mind, which causes the failure. There are some things in life worth fighting for and if you have decided that this love is paramount to your personal growth, you must draw steel and fight for what you believe. Take care and remember that your life just not sole revolve round your ex.

Why dont you tell him how you feel???

Hi girl you need to pull yourself together and forget about this guy. There is nothing else you can do. You can't have him any more unless you are willing to break up his relationship with his girlfriend, fight for him, which may not be the best solution. Start dating again and don't look for him in anyone you date, everyone is different and you cannot find anyone like your boyfriend. Instead, look for the qualities you want in a boy friend and I am sure you will find the one for you

free him and free yourself dear procima14, you know you must start a new love story and you can remember him in your memory because you and he still had happy time ever, but past is past. you should pay attention to now and work on it.

being in a serious relationship is really self sacrificing..in love, you'll give up everything just to make your partner happy. seeing your previous partner with his/her better half really hurts. but who says that you can't move on? you can have another partner who is totally opposite with him. just reflect where did you go wrong before, then ,change it slowly.. you'll be happy someday=)