Mother-in-law spending too much on kids for Christmas
By mnlaajz
@mnlaajz (4)
November 27, 2009 2:50pm CST
My mother in law is always telling everyone how little money they have, how tight things are for them, the sacrifices they have to make to make ends meet, etc. And it's not just once, it's over and over again. I try to be polite even though I think she causes a lot of her own money issues. Anyway, yesterday my in-laws were over for Thanksgiving and my mother in law was asking about Christmas presents for my kids. She wants to buy my step-daughter an expensive video game system. I told her that it wasn't necessary to spend that much money, and she gave me a dirty look. My step-daughter doesn't need it, she already has her own little laptop, a cell phone and the family has a Wii. My mother in law just always has to get the best and most expensive presents so she can look good. My husband has tried to talk to her, but it doesn't help. Does anybody else deal with? Does anybody have any good suggestion or am I best off to try to ignore it and let her unnecessarily spoil my kids even though I know she can't afford it?
4 responses
@Annmarks (39)
•
4 Dec 09
Hi,
Make sure your husband sorts this out with her. I know, you said, his spoken about
it, cannot, have done the trick, she, needs a firm handing, before it gets out of
hand, speaking from experience, I wished, I did not have to put up with this, more
from a mother/sister in law from hell, when, I had no parental love, myself, this was the last thing, I wanted or needed.
Do not ignore what she is doing, these are your children not hers, she, does not have the right to spoil them, especially, not, at Christmas.
Tell, her straight, always, be united, she, will get the message, or, she will have to make other arrangements instead. Children, soon pick up on those who really care, others, who, are just doing it for show.
@Annmarks (39)
•
2 Dec 09
Hi,
Although, you say, your husband has had a word with his mum, he, needs to keep
on telling her, until, the message, hits home. These are your children, not hers.
Too many Grandparents, act as if, they are the parent, who, have the right to spoil
their grandchildren as they like, when, they do not.
Christmas, is not about money, why, we give, she, is only doing so, to boast, how
much, money, she, may think, she has to spend. It may, work for a short while, with
a small child, who, is impressed with expensive, toys, not, long term it will not, a
child will soon pick up on who, is the adult, who, cares the most for them.
Do not ignore the situation, it will only become worst over time, your children, are
not related to her, any more than mine are to my husband's mum, is how I prefer to
address, even, with her, knowing my back ground, the fact, I have never had any parental care or love from mine, she, tried to cause me so much pain, trouble, it was
still is, hurtful, only, if, I let her, do not let her, win.
@ersmommy1 (12588)
• United States
27 Nov 09
It sounds like you may be in a no win scenario. I understand what you are saying. But after the dirty look you got..I'd say it's her decision. And you can't always rescue someone from bad choices. If you are worried about spoiling the kids, get together as a family and decide on an item to donate to some organization for the needy. We do it, and it works well.
@savypat (20216)
• United States
27 Nov 09
We tried for many years to cope with this situation, we set a dollar limit on gifts, we talked to the person and finally I realized how important it was for her to spend this money on the kids, the boost to her pride was worth every cent to her, from then on I just let it go. I did talk to the kids about true value and how never to judge anyone by what they could buy for you. So in a way I got full value in the lessons this action allowed me to give the kids.
