A Mother's Instinct
By butterfly_me
@butterfly_me (4)
United Arab Emirates
November 30, 2009 1:11am CST
I am a mother of two, my son is already 7yrs old and my daughter is 18months. My son is staying with my Husband's parents, and my youngest with my Mother(this is the part which i'm not really proud of). I and my hunsband flew to Dubai, UAE, to work, to earn money for our kid's future as we say. It's so ashamed but it's true, I never had a time to take care of my kids and i'm always at work as my husband also does. We've been here for almost 7yrs (yah that long). Every year sometimes not, we go home for vacation, enjoy sometime with them but the sad part is that we, I and my husband never travel together, he's schedule as Sales Assistant never match mine, I am a Receptionist, so sometimes i really want to go home so badly even without him and so i did and so is he. And for the recoed, i do not have any regret of all the things happened to my family, to my life, because i've learned a lot, and i turned out so well i guess, but, you know sometimes just want to go home and risk everything, i am feeling so sick and tired of working away from them. I am thinking sometimes to just let my husband work for us but then again i realized, poor husband, it will take him his lifetime working to keep us.
At this point, i am asking the experts or anyone that reads this an advice, on a situation like this, shall i sacrificed a little bit more since i already did that, stay focus on what i am doing right now, or shall i turn the other way around, go home with nothing and be with them, that's it.
1 person likes this
6 responses
@ongtina (1232)
• Singapore
30 Nov 09
As you had said, your husband and your schedule doesn't match, so even if you are away from your children, I wonder are you alone or with your husband? If you are usually by yourself, then why be away from your children? Won't that be losing on both ends? Do you really earn much much more away abroad cos even when you are in your own country, as you have help from both sides' parents, you still can go out to work in your own country.
@mommaj (23112)
• United States
30 Nov 09
I completely agree with you. If butterfly has parents who can keep her children, why be in another country to work. Even if you don't make much money at least the children will know who you are and they will be together. Right now, they don't even have each other. They have two separate families. That's a bad situation in itself.
@deviltamer (64)
• India
1 Dec 09
Stop the work you are doing and leave for your children's sake. Money matters so little in life when you compare it for your kids against parenting. You parents are so much vulnerable without you, they can be anything without your parenting. You have to be with them, to give them love, money is nothing compare with it. Making them a good human being is more important than making them successful. I am sure in saying that
When your return to meet them they will be much more that happy that any thing they bought with the money in a foreign country
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
1 Dec 09
butterfly you know inside what you really should do,just cut back a bit on what you think you need, cut out some frills, and go home to your kids,they need one of you there all times, this is
no way to live,what good does a ton of money do if you, your husband, and your kids are suffering from not being together, confer with your parents and his parents, and decide on the least amount you really need for your family and just settle for that. better to have a mom where her kids can know her than a million dollars for their future when you are all unhappy and leading u nnatural lives,you must not sacrifice their childhood for money they can get along and you all can too on less. get back together again.,work if you have to but where you can be with your family all the times.the way you are living is too hard on the kids and on you really. good luck and God bless all of you.
@sublime03 (2339)
• Philippines
1 Dec 09
I had my son young but promised myself eversince that I will be wherever my son is. Even if there are alot of opportunities out there, I vowed to keep my family together for myself and for my son. You should spend your time with your 18th month old daughter because she will only turn 2 or 3 years old once in this lifetime.
Children are very precious and we should be around them most of the time because we are the parents. We are here to guide them, to nourish them and to show them that whatever they do we are here always.
@invisiblelady (1655)
• Philippines
1 Dec 09
I'm not an expert... I'm a child who was raised by my parents with only a dad who's working and with a mom who stays at home. I think you should think about your kids.. Growing up without a mother is not easy. You might just wake up one day and ready for giving up everything for them but finding out that they don't need you anymore... It's the hardest part of being a mother. But I've never ever wanted my mother to be away from us. Even if we don't have much in life, at least we're happy. I don't want to be like any other kids who have everything what can be asked for in life but haven't got a parent who will be at their side for the needed times--you'll never know when your kids will need you the most. My mom has always been dreading to work abroad but we won't let her...
It's your choice to make... Try to look at the advantages and disadvantages of things... Just keep in mind... "Money can buy everything but not HAPPINESS..."
@wallacb3 (88)
• United States
30 Nov 09
I agree that you should be with your children. While you say that you don't regret because you've learned a lot, it certainly seems like you are depressed. (no offense hun). It's great that the children are with family, but are they also separated from each other? Children that young need their siblings and parents. If schedules make it difficult for both parents to be with their children at the same time, switch places every few months if possible. Try to stay in touch online through videos, so that the other parent will get to see the children often. It sounds as if both you and your husband are working your hardest. I'm sure the children know how much you love and miss them. Maybe you could look for a source of work closer to the children, so that you can put in a few hours here and there. When your daughter is older it will be easier for you both to work. You don't want to miss her growing though...missing milestones like her first steps and first words are hard on a parent's psyche. It will only continue to stress you out- making focusing on work that much more difficult.
