No Christmas Gifts This Year
By cowfdcowfd
@cowfdcowfd (5)
United States
December 1, 2009 12:30pm CST
I have convinced my family that we should not exchange gifts this year. At least not for the adults. I will still exchange gifts with my husband and daughter, and we will give gifts to the children in the family - but not the adults.
My mother seemed to have the hardest time with this, but everyone else in my family and my husbands family seemed to be relieved. Extremely relieved.
This brings my total purchases down to 7 people - my husband, daughter, her godparents and 3 cousins. My original count used to be 32! This will save us hundreds of dollars!
My question is, how do you handle gifts for the holidays? Do you still give to absolutely everyone in your family, or do you have a grab bag, or no adults or what? Who made the first move in your family? Was there resistance?
1 person likes this
4 responses
@cher913 (25782)
• Canada
28 Dec 09
well i think it is the thought that counts. i am sort of suprised that you wouldnt buy anything for your mom though. i still like to remember people even though i cannot afford a lot for a gift for them, so i made a lot of presents this past year for Christmas.
@cowfdcowfd (5)
• United States
28 Dec 09
"I am still sort of surprised that you wouldn't buy anything for your mom though."
Actually, my mother is probably the core reason why I don't want to exchange gifts. I do not want anything from her. Not one cent. She is the kind of person who makes you pay for the rest of your life for anything she has done for anyone - no matter how big or small. She is demanding, disgusting and down right obnoxious. I can't stand her with every fiber of my being. I spent most of my good childhood in foster care. She still has some deluded idea that she was a great mother, even though she spent time in jail for my abuse. The only reason I even see the witch is because I still love my grandmother and aunt - and if I want Christmas with them, it comes with her too. She is not even allowed to be alone with my daughter.
Still think I should buy her a gift?
@cutepenguin (6431)
• Canada
29 Dec 09
nope.
I admit that before you explained, I would have thought a token gift for parents to be not a big deal, but yeah, if she isn't your "mom" then why would you?
I was in foster care for a lot of my life too. My birth mom did try to be a good mom, she just wasn't capable of it. I understand this, but I don't actually speak to her. It's good of you to compromise for family gatherings.
@JoyfulOne (6232)
• United States
1 Dec 09
We only do for our immediate family, and my daughters family and the grandkids. We used to do everybody, but it's just not in the budget anymore to do all the cousins, etc. There are those close and dear that we do exchange homemade cookies, or breads, with as opposed to regular gifts. One year, when my Dad was still alive, he had a really rough year, so we each drew a name with the adults, and only gifted the children. We also set a $5.00 limit on the adult gifts. It worked well, and we did that for quite a few years. He resisted the idea at first, when I brought it up, but I think he was truly relieved on Christmas day when it was all just as much fun and festivity as it was in Christmas's past. In some ways I do think it's harder on the older folks, but just because they're just wanting to share their love to each and every one by gifting them.
If I may offer a suggestion, for if you have all the 'ungifted' adults at a family party?! This has worked well for us too, so that everybody does get a gift. Have a 'hobo Christmas'. What that is, is that each adult brings an old white elephant gift, something that they no longer want. They wrap it and mark it guy, gal, or either. When it's time to pass out the gifts, we put guys in one big pillowcase, and gals in another, then walked around the room and let each one reach in and draw one out (without looking.) We had SO much fun doing this, and boy, there is so much laughter at the nutzy gifts going around. Then we'd trade if somebody really wanted to swap. It was absolutely hilarious. We still do this with a group of friends, and I actually think we have more fun 'hobo gifting' than if we exchanged regular purchased presents. (Last year I got a bota bag from the 70's, and the year before a railroad spike. My grandson was so thrilled I got a real railroad spike he keeps it parked on his HO train set hahaha)
@cowfdcowfd (5)
• United States
2 Dec 09
We have a Christmas "date" with one half of the family the week before - dinner and dessert. Then we have Christmas eve with the other half of the family - also dinner and dessert. So we still have the get together part.
I just think she needs to realize that this makes Christmas LESS stressful, not less fun. As I said my mother is the only one annoyed.
@cutepenguin (6431)
• Canada
17 Dec 09
One side of my family stopped exchanging gifts years ago. It's been a slow movement in other areas though. I have a lot of students and I give them each a gift, although this year I made a lot of the gifts, so it didn't cost quite so much.
@oscar6 (1938)
• United States
25 Jun 11
I used to buy everyone in my family gifts and that equated to around thirty people. However I have stopped buying for everyone but my grandma on my dads side. I still have to spend a lot of money though because I am still buying for over twenty people. We have talked about doing something similar to what you said but it never happened.
