in ANOTHER woman's arms...
By alexysabelle
@alexysabelle (905)
Philippines
December 2, 2009 2:02am CST
today everything can be possible. despite the values and respect we were thought in school still others find their way to make other people's lives a bit miserable.
imagine you caught your husband or wife in somebody else's arm, how would you feel? what will you do? can you still afford to love and forgive your husband/wife despite the cheating?
it is an open communication between me and my husband (since he is working far away from home), that if ever he would be tempted to have another woman i would still forgive him. he has the assurance that i would still accept him and continue loving him despite the mistake. but honestly, just the though of it hurt me. how much more if it is committed. it hurts deeply i know, the wound maybe so deep that it can be very hard to forgive - but i will try. He'll will have my forgiveness.
if it happens to you, what will you do? forgive or forget (that is leave)?
6 responses
@sunita64 (6469)
• India
2 Dec 09
I personally feel that every freedom given to other should be both ways, if you have granted your husband this freedom then you can also avail this choice, may be then only you will feel even with your husband. If your husband is human then so are you.But somehow this thought of having your husband with someone else really hurts.
@alexysabelle (905)
• Philippines
3 Dec 09
freedom given can be a symbol of trust to the person whom it was given. however it does not mean that i too need that freedom. it is my personal choice and my moral obligation to myself, to my husband and to my children to preserve the respect they have given me by not doing anything that they might feel betrayed and on the process diminish the respect i have for myself.
i do understand, that men in general are polygamous by nature. and on the other end there are women who cannot maintain their "composure" and tempt men - those are realities and considering that my husband work far - the possibility that this might happen is not remote. he knows that i trust him, and i get hurt when he'll do it. however, if ever and if ever this will happen, still i will forgive him. as for me, by choice, i vowed to my self to stay away from anything that could hurt my family. because the bottom line there is... - I LOVE THEM ALL (my husband and my children and that's it).
God Bless sunita!
@chriszh22 (432)
• China
2 Dec 09
Differnt country and culture treat it in different way, even differnt from person to person. For me Loyalty is key for a relationship, which is one of the principle. But I myself forgived two betrays of my lover, but I said to her no next time! People will make mistakes for sure, but mistakes shouldn't be a habbit. Now we're quite stabilized, we should cherish what we have now.
1 person likes this
@alexysabelle (905)
• Philippines
3 Dec 09
Hi chriszh,
true different country and different culture have different point of view and should i say - should be respected.
you are also correct is saying that LOYALTY is key for a relationship and i may also add TRUST and RESPECT. without those key elements, i don't think relationships will prosper.
Good luck and God Bless Cheriszh..
@chriszh22 (432)
• China
4 Dec 09
Yes you're absolutely right. I think maybe you don't love deep enough to your husband while he loves you very much. It's not totally your fault but maybe you should control yourself. Keeping doing that will just hurt your family and especially yourself, at least it's not a easy game that everyone could play.
@ericsarah_hill (4)
• United States
3 Dec 09
My husband is SO great, he is a great father of 4, and the most honest man anyone could ever come across. I on the other hand....cheated on him with my ex husband, and a man that i met on a phone line. This brings many questions to his mind...and mine! Why was i even on that phone line to begin with, why did i turn to my ex convict husband? I found a lot of it is because what happend to me in my past as a child, and a lot of it was because i was lonley, even with him holding me everynight, emotionaly we were not connecting. He is trying to forgive me, and i am doing everything in my power to show him he can trust me again. Out of anger he will say things like "i will go sleep with 2 woman and we will be even" or "im going to go to the strip club" and even just thinking about him doing those this make me cry and cause so much pain inside-so i cant even emagine how he is feeling. What i am saying is...when one person cheats, it hurts the whole family.
@alexysabelle (905)
• Philippines
4 Dec 09
yeah true. letting go can be an option if a person is no longer happy in a relationship. it can be that simple, however, emotions sometimes can get complicated. What if in letting go you find on the process that you really love the person after all? will you still let go?
moving on can be hard especially if the person we are letting go bring almost our whole heart - know what i mean? really difficult?
thanks Wizz. God Bless!
@ronnyb (6113)
• Jamaica
3 Dec 09
Wow I respect your maturity.Frankly I dont know if I could be that mature but since you have that kind of relationship then and it is working for you then continue with it .However,when you are in a loving relationship for a number of years ,I guess you dont throw that away because of one instance of infidelity or mistake.Like you I would be angry too but depending on the circumstances I too may try the forgiveness route but it would be hard
1 person likes this
@alexysabelle (905)
• Philippines
3 Dec 09
thanks ronny,
you can try. start a little, you will not notice but later you act and behave maturely.
yeah you are correct forgiveness can be hard and difficult - considering that a person somehow betray you - but you can try. that is the essence of LOVING by FORGIVING.
Good Bless you ronny!
@junmae (1586)
• Philippines
3 Dec 09
Yes you are right, everything is possible and can be change. I don't know how to react with your statement, I myself wont allow any one to cheat me. I don't know in your case. if my husband have another another i will forgive him but it will takes longer time to heal the wound that he made. I will not attempt to see him again because knowing that he is wit other woman and kissing her makes me feel awful for myself.
@alexysabelle (905)
• Philippines
4 Dec 09
Yeah because being cheated can be really painful.
and wounds takes time to heal, i understand. not seeing him again can be a cure but on the other hand sometimes we can't afford also to stay away from the person whom we love dearly for a long time, so it tough you know?
as for me, ill will not stop loving him that's for sure. thanks jun!
@locohboi (55)
• Philippines
3 Dec 09
im single still now but i have a girl friend now,but if i saw my girl friend to that situation i will ask him first who is that boy and what is the meaning of that?if she answer that she have a relationship with him i will ask him.who will you pick me or him,and will respect what is will be his decision if she pick him it is ok to me but it is so very hurts to that.
@alexysabelle (905)
• Philippines
4 Dec 09
hi locoh...
allowing the person to make a choice i think is like pushing the person to the wall where he/she does not have an option but to choose what is convenient for him/her just so he/she can be freed from thal wall. tough!
but loving can be tough also... :-)
thanks locoh..
