how will you know if you're all out of love with your partner?
By musikaLorA
@musikaLorA (115)
Philippines
December 2, 2009 11:08am CST
if you had a fight with him or her? do you usually settle it within the day? what if your ego or pride is really hurt because of that fight, and you think it is not your fault at all, will you just wait until he or she apologize to you or would you rather initiate the communication to settle things up? time also plays a big part in maintaining and nurturing long lasting relationship, but there are circumstances that you compromise your time with each other, it may be a job or school but there you will notice how persistent and how willing are you to take care of each other feelings, but what if as time goes by, with a serious fight, you become tired of always initiating to settle things up? is it indication that slowly you are falling out of love for him?have you experience while in a fight, just to stop it, you or he or she would say sorry without sincerity, you just say it for the purpose of stopping the fight, would it affect you because of the lack of sincerity? how then will you decide that enough is enough?i really need some brave thoughts about this..thanks!
11 responses
@arystine (1273)
• Philippines
3 Dec 09
For me, I know I fell out of love with my partner when I can no longer appreciate the things that he does. When everything he does seems annoying or irritating to me. When I no longer feel sparks whenever I see this person. When I would rather do other things than to hang out with him.
@musikaLorA (115)
• Philippines
3 Dec 09
but will you give a chance first before leaving a person? or try to settle things first? cuz i just wonder how things happen so fast especially when you are in a fight with your partner,right? of course we don't mean to hurt and be hurt by them..
@musikaLorA (115)
• Philippines
4 Dec 09
i think if you are really sure that you've fallen out of love then you should not prolong the agony,,,but if you still care and have both agreed to work things out then a chance is really deserved...so that if ever you broke up, you will have no regrets at all and at least you've tried...
@ced_cap (207)
• Philippines
3 Dec 09
hi musikaLorA,
me and my partner never had a serious fight eversince. all we had were just petty quarrel(usually about the kids) but we see to it that we solve it within the day because we believe that big fights come from small things so we settle it right away.
if ever there come a time that my ego or pride was touched or hurt by my partner, i think the best way still is to communicate with him and tell him straight what i was hurt by the thing(whatever that may be)he did to me. and in that way the communication will still be open and all problems will be settled.
@musikaLorA (115)
• Philippines
3 Dec 09
i used to keep my mouth shut after we fight,at times i am worried to tell him how i really feel...i just hope we can avoid the fight...
@musikaLorA (115)
• Philippines
4 Dec 09
you have a point there, relationships sometimes are very complicated right? for you have to adjust on some things, widen your ideas so you'll both benefit from it.. but i think it also helps us to really appreciate what we call LOVE..
@ced_cap (207)
• Philippines
4 Dec 09
it's better also to just keep our mouth shut for awhile..wait for the situation to cool down and then after that you can tell him what you really feel because it's important to burst it out than just to keep it to yourself. in that way he'll be able to understand you more and he'll become more sensitive about what you're feeling.
@gunagohan (3414)
• India
3 Dec 09
well, first of all, u should acknowledge everybody who are responding to ur discussion, this ti improve your reputation.
and now, i'm 20 and i never have any girlfriend to fight or apologize , but i have seen many of my friends often get into trouble or fight with their pair, i have witnessed one of my close friend had a fight with his girlfriend and they did not talk for many months , later my friend started talking to her first, they did not have a smooth talk in the first then later it went nice ..
@musikaLorA (115)
• Philippines
3 Dec 09
thanks for the tip about acknowledging everybody responding.. i think based on your observation, it is still through good communication that things will be settled in good terms right? but that example you gave me makes me think how painful it is to wait for many months without proper communication..
@kashers (649)
• Jamaica
3 Dec 09
i am in a mood swing right now with my girl and i never argue neither does she,she just nows that i am angry and i don't wanna talk when i am in this mood it could cause some serious energy flow that i don't like cause i never fight with my woman,i wait until i am calm then we talk it out,so in the mean time right now she wants to talk so i tell her to text me or just meet me in im if i feel the mood to talk i will call her or she knows that it is safe to talk so she will call,but the fighting thing not my style and the loud shouting thing not my style neither her,we respect eachother so much we just wait until we both are on the calm level,we handle ourselves better that way,i love her very much and i know she feels the same so we never fight or argue loudly,we resolve it peacefully,but i do love the mad feeling i get when i am angry at her it just makes my blood rush for her even more than ever,i just love it but i keep it under control because when that rage has u trap,a fight is gonna happen yep a nasty one too
@musikaLorA (115)
• Philippines
3 Dec 09
yes sometimes we need to cool down first before settling things..thanks!
@RyanneD (186)
• United States
2 Dec 09
My husband and I have been married for three years and we actually don't fight. I'm not saying that we don't occationally get on each other nerves or that we agree on everything because that's certainly not the case, but we communicate really well. We've also made a rule that we don't go to bed mad at each other. I think that's really important. If we don't agree on something then we'll have more of a debate about it, not an argument. We resepct each other's opinions/views on things and we work out our differences accordingly. We also make sure to have a lot of fun together. We're just big goof-balls and make each other laugh. We're best friends and I think that's the way it should be.
I don't know how you tell when you're not in love with someone anymore. I think you just know. I've only been in love with one other person other than my husband and I just knew when I didn't love him anymore. Nothing really happened to make me feel that way, I think I just knew inside that he wasn't "the one". It's different for everyone.
@musikaLorA (115)
• Philippines
3 Dec 09
yes i agree that good communication plays a big part in nurturing a relationship, and i am pleased to hear that you and your partner manage to avoid fight, though you had a debate but i guess that was more of sharing your ideas about one thing,so you could understand each other more,right? thanks...
@RyanneD (186)
• United States
3 Dec 09
That's exactly right. I am in no way claiming that we always agree on everything because I'd be lying to you if I said that. We're just able disagree on something without fighting and yelling and screaming. We have a FANTASTIC relationship and we couldn't be happier! :-)
@brooker345 (1)
•
2 Dec 09
simple if you find everything they do annoying, i you stop being jelous and dont care where they are. And if you doubt your love for them it cant be real
@musikaLorA (115)
• Philippines
3 Dec 09
oh,it is good to hear, cuz i still feel jealous and i still care... cuz sometimes i am wondering maybe my love slowly fades..just some stupid thoughts of mine,,lol
@glitterminded (64)
• Philippines
2 Dec 09
Well, in our case we don't settle it within the day. We first calm things down. We give time for each other to think things over and then after which we go back to normal. After the fight we just laugh at each other. Sometimes when your mad, your thoughts are blocked with the emotion and it will just worsen things if you continue to bicker and shout and you'll end up saying things that you will regret.
Maybe what makes us stick together is the friendship that we have developed towards each other. We are lovers but we also are best of friends.
When it comes to the pride, we give and take. There are times in which I say sorry first but there are also times where he is the one who come up to me and apologize.
Falling out of love is when you don't care anymore about what he/she feels, thinks or does.
@musikaLorA (115)
• Philippines
3 Dec 09
it's nice that you and your partner also learn how to be the best of friends,maybe that is the lack in our relationship..thanks for sharing your thought...i think i'll be challenged to also be a best friend to my partner...
@junmae (1586)
• Philippines
3 Dec 09
We usually had a fight with my partner and although sometimes it is my fault, he is the one who first settle and apologize because he didn't want to sleep knowing that i am mad. I always feel the guilt everytime we fight because i know that it is my fault so sometimes I tend to apologize also and be the first to settle.
@musikaLorA (115)
• Philippines
3 Dec 09
yes i agree to that i also felt guilty specially when it is my fault...thanks
@Drsunny21 (556)
• India
2 Dec 09
I Usually say sorry to my gf,even if its her fault.She has done so many mistakes and coz of tht many times we had fight..And so she will not say anythng aftr fight..So evrytime i say dear,dont worry.I had forgiven you but just please take care of it..Tht it is not repeated..I love her and i care for her..So every mistake of her i had forgiven.At some instance i feel tht how many times i will forgive her but it was just once and so i forgot tht thaught...I just love her and i have to care for her..
@musikaLorA (115)
• Philippines
4 Dec 09
that was very nice of you...but i felt guilty for at times even if it was my fault he is the first one to say sorry, and your testimony is an eye opener for me that if it is my fault i should make the first move to ask forgiveness..for i think admitting your fault will make you both grow in the relationship and learn to really forgive someone,right?
@yan_blue8 (1437)
• Philippines
2 Dec 09
Hi musika!
Me and my partner often quarrel, especially during the first 6 months. I can see that we have different arguments that we can't fix in a day or so. It always happens during that time. Me myself don't like things like that so I felt like giving up though I still love him. Good thing that my partner is always understanding and whose the one to lower his ego when these things happen. Either or not, its his fault. I was so glad that he is the one I have.
After that 6 months, we probably thinking about getting into a more serious relationship, and we decided to talk about our issue. We agreed not to argue always especially with small things, that not worth arguing. So, we never argue anymore now. It helps that we always talk about our problem and decided not to quarrel.
@musikaLorA (115)
• Philippines
4 Dec 09
it is nice for you to achieve that stage with your partner, i mean you agree not to argue as much as possible, right? and i think that indicates that you two are growing in the relationship, for me that is more important...
@happy2512 (1266)
• Philippines
3 Dec 09
If you really are inlove you wouldn't mind to first initiate the communication to settle things up some partners are not sincere enough to do the first move. But it doesn't mean that they don't love you anymore & to make the relationship strong we have to fight sometimes in order to determine how strong we are their for each other even if its the worst fight in our time. You can only know that you fall out of love when he doesn't seem to care for you at all. You can feel it your a woman like me we a sense that not men have.
@musikaLorA (115)
• Philippines
3 Dec 09
yes i agree..we have that woman instinct right? it is a challenge for me to keep our relationship strong even if there are serious fight..
