Single moms out there...need your help!

If i were you, i would tell him to leave the moment i see him with his family in my house. I would tell him that i am not interested in knowing his family and befriending his wife. I will also tell him straight that we are better off without him and that he has nothing to do with us. If he really want to see his son, he should not bring his family along. He should also give financial assistance to his son. He is so dense.If he does'nt, then he should be ashamed to see his son.

I understand where you are coming from and totally know how you feel. My situation is a bit different as my sons hate their father because of the years of abuse they witnessed and put up with. If you son is 14, by law he can deside if he wants anything to do with his father or not. But whether he does or not, he is obligated by law to pay your child support including back child support. You shouldn't make him see him if he doesn't want to but he needs to tell his father how he feels and why either face to face or in a letter and not to hold back anything in letting him know how deeply he has hurt him. His dad needs to realize the pain he had caused him and live up to it. Your son needs you more than him, to know he is worth everything and is your pride and joy. With my children I have worked hard to turn around the damage my x caused them and it may take years but they know they are loved and how to love and regard him as a waste of space.

Your ex is expecting your son to like him and get on well with him after an absence of six years. It is not even as if he has kept in contact and given you any child maintenance. Your son might have trouble accepting that your ex has a wife and a baby. I suggest that you try not to see your ex very often or you will be reminded of past upset. He is your ex and you could tell him that. Your son will be able to see him if he wishes to. It is right he keeps up with his dad if he wants to. Your ex may have to make things up to your son. I know you just want your ex to leave you alone. I hope that things will work out for you. Good luck.

How old is your son? If your son does not want to see his father than as his mother I think you should back him in that. Any kid that does not want anything to do with a parent usually has good reason for it. For your part in it...just be careful not to say things that are going to turn your son against his dad. It has to be his own reason not yours. I know that is really hard when you have bad feelings towards him and he doesn't help out.

that is awful. I feel for you and your son. I think he just wants to show off his new family. My ex did this to me after not seeing them for a few years. But guess what? He ended up getting divorced in about a year so nothing changed. He was still messed up. Then he stopped contact with my kids again. It is a vicious cycle. I wish you the best. Try to keep a routine with your son so that when the contact stops again he can deal with it.

Hi dade, hmmnnn though situation... seriously though, FACT is: HE is still the father of your son, so you cannot deny him the right to see your son. as for your son, the right to know who is father is - is also essential in his growing up stage. for identify, for knowing his roots, for the assurance that at least he has the father and he saw him (that he is not a bamboo shoot - know what i mean?) as to your feelings: you have every right to be angry or whatever feelings you have there to him for what happened to both of you. but let not your feelings influence your child's feelings towards his father. 3rd: bringing his family to your house is out of question. what is he trying to prove. or what is he trying to tell you by bringing his family to your house. i mean, if he wants to introduce himself as the father of your son, he can come by himself. bringing his family to your house is adding insult to the wounded situation. i will also be angry, if i am in your case.. last point: I know that you are angry. just don't let your anger towards the father of your son influence your sons' emotions to his father. God Bless Dade!

That is a very difficult situation to be in right now. I understand the pain you have gone thru and of course it would definitely be difficult to have him see your son. You will need to tell him how you feel about the situation because he will not understand it unless you tell him further. We cannot dictate to you what to do, it really depends on you but if all he wants is to meet him once then so be it. That should let him see how good you raised your son.

Your situation is hard, that's what I see.. I'm not a single mom, but if I'll put my feet on your shoe, maybe the best thing to do is to have a serious conversation with your ex. Although I don't know the reason why you're apart, but if it's only you who gives all the effort, the love and the financial support to your child, I think he is too irresponsible. And now after 6 long years, he'll come back and wanted to see your child, well it's totally unfair. Just talk to your ex and be proud that you can live without him, and you can continue your life together with your son. Children are still the most important to me, rather than husband.

Hi dadelkoy, It is really difficult for you. To me, divorce means the broke up of a relationship between a wife and a husband but they are still the mother and father of the child. They should love their child as before, though it is not easy to do so as they might live in different places. However, they should try hard to show their child that they love him/her so much. In your case, it is up to the child. It is a father wanted his son to accept him and his new family. What you can do is just explain to your son what his father's aim and asked if your son has any question on it. It will be good to let the son to say it out. Therefore, you can understand him more and try to teach him a proper way of looking at this matter. You do not have to involve too much on it. If the son decided to reject his father because of what he had done, that will be his son's choice. You simply relay the message to his father and tell him to leave your house and that is it. I suggest you not to bother too much. However, you just do not say any bad thing about his father. It would be more appropriate if you pay full attention to take good care of your son and give him more love, so that he won't feel that he is lack of love. He still can live healthily and happily. When he has grown up a bit, please try to explain more to him. God bless you! Everything will be fine. Don't worry too much. It is not worth. Cheers, agonyaunt69 (8:06pm 4 December 2009 Hong Kong time)