Regifting, a way of life?
By chulce
@chulce (1537)
United States
December 3, 2009 11:22am CST
So many times many of us receive gifts from friends that well, frankly aren't for us. We love our friends dearly for giving them to us, but in the end, how often would we use the unwanted item or for that matter where would we keep the item.
There have been many times in my life, where I have received gifts like this and felt incredibly guilty if I didn't keep the items. I felt really bad if I didn't like the item. But, I enjoyed the sentiment behind the gift.
Recently, I got to thinking about all of those gifts and thought about the rules of regifting those particular gifts to someone else that may enjoy them more than I did or would. Should there be a time limit? Should we be able to regift during the same holiday season? How long should we wait before getting rid of the gift? Should the gift even be regifted.
These ponderings are still wondering through my brain. After a few years of holding onto one particular gift that I did put out when I expected a friend of mine to show up at my home, but after a while, the item meerly collected dust and never got used. I finally broke down and gave the item away to charity. Was I wrong in doing so? Or was that a better way of finding it a new home?
3 people like this
14 responses
@sunlight2009 (196)
• United States
4 Dec 09
I think regifting is a wonderful idea. Its probably one of the best recycling ideas I have ever come across. But I would be careful so as not to hurt anyone's feelings.
I would try to hold on to the gift as long as possible before regifting - even if just keeping it in a hiding place. I would also try to ensure that the person I give it to would not be likely to have the original giver see the gift - that would be so embarassing for many people on so many levels.
Otherwise, great idea!
1 person likes this
@chulce (1537)
• United States
4 Dec 09
Thanks for your comments, I really appreciate it. You are right we do need to make sure not to give it back to the originator. Maybe putting a small card with the item with the person's name on it to remind us who gave it? That could save a little time too when we get the gifts that we want to get rid of.
@happy6162 (3001)
• United States
4 Dec 09
I do not see anything wrong with regifting if you know of someone that would like a gift that was given to you. Lots of time people keep things that they do not like and then when they start cleaning will give the gift to charity which I think is great. Try to make sure you regift to someone who the person that gave you give does not know that way they will not get hurt by seeing the gift they gave you in someone else house.
1 person likes this
@chulce (1537)
• United States
4 Dec 09
Thanks for the suggestions and responding. I will keep these in mind especially right now since it is the holiday season.
Now that the house is quiet, the children are off to school, I can ponder the many different gifts that I still need to prepare and get in the mail to send to loved ones. So many things, so little time. Wow, how our lives have changed!
1 person likes this
@davismomof16 (59)
• United States
3 Dec 09
Actually we as a family often re-gift. It is better to give a gift to someone that really wants the item. I have been given gifts that I knew were re-gifted, but it did not bother me because I knew that I really wanted it and the original giver did not know that I liked those things.
When the gift was given to the first person, they were in to that type of item, but over time their interest waned, so it was given to me, who had just began to like that thing.
Did that make sense at all?
I think it is in the presentation of the gift that makes the difference. You don't say "hey I don't want this, do you? ". I often say " I had this gift that I was given, but I thought of you and decided it would be better given to someone who would love it more than I can"
1 person likes this
@chulce (1537)
• United States
4 Dec 09
I am so glad that I opened up this discussion it is truly amazing how many answers vary but at the same time are the same.
It is wonderful to see that someone out there does re-gift and does not have an issue with it and that feels that it is the sentiment behind the gift that should be what is felt.
I hope that you and your family has a happy holiday season and that all of your holidays dreams come true.
1 person likes this
@deebomb (15304)
• United States
3 Dec 09
I see nothing wrong with regifting as long as the gift has not been used at all and is in the original container. So often we are given gifts that the giver thinks we like or want. sometimes the giver is not really aware of our tastes so don't get the right gift. A nice item should not set in a closet taking up space if you know someone that would really like or could use it. It is the fact that someone cared enough to go to the trouble to get a gift in the first place. just be careful that the person that gave you the gift in the first place will not see it in the home of the recipient of the regifted gift.
1 person likes this
@chulce (1537)
• United States
4 Dec 09
Thanks for responding, you too make a valid point. I am glad to see that many mylotters feel that it is all right to re-gift. It does the heart good to see others who feel the same and know how to gift.
I think that since our world has become so material based that many people have forgotten the meaning of the holiday season.
2 people like this
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
4 Dec 09
There is 2 sides to this, as you say gift it to someone who might have more use of it yes that is good, the other Side is though, collecting dust or not to me it would be a sentiment and I would keep it just for that reason that I keep it, my Friends either know what I like or they will ask me even my Children will ask what I would like, as they have bought me so many Dolphin and Fairy things already lol, so I tell them to just get me something like a Dressing Gown but to get it together, yes they both work hard, but I will not let them buy me separate and I will not let them buy me expensive either, so you see, even if they bought something, Friends or relatives that I did not like or need I would still keep it
But you would do good if you knew someone could make use of the item to pass it on, but I would wait till the following year to do that
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
4 Dec 09
No because they are sentimental to me so again I would feel awful if I gave them away because even though it is not something I need it was chosen for me with love and care
That is the only reason I would not feel selfish because I know it was chosen for me with Love
See there is 2 sides all the time lol
Now if I knew someone that really needed it and could not afford it then I would think about giving them the item and probably would give it
@chulce (1537)
• United States
5 Dec 09
I see your point. I have to admit, I have many teddy bears cluttering my home that were given to me by my kids and husband and other family members. However, after a while, I became over run and made the decision to cut down the stack of bears. I gave them to a charity that gives them to the police department and fire/rescue. They are given to kids that have been in an accident, etc.
@chulce (1537)
• United States
4 Dec 09
And you are correct there are two sides to this. That is why I threw it out there, I wanted to see how everyone feels about this subject.
My thought is with the economy being has hectic as it is and with a lot of people struggling to make ends meet it is a subject that might help others as well during this season and help them to realize that maybe there is something they have that they could give as a gift.
I wanted to be sure that everyone has a chance to express how they feel. I find it refreshing that you will keep the items for sentimental reasons, but at the same time, wouldn't you consider it a little selfish if you couldn't share the sentiment with someone else that you love just as dearly as the originator of the gift?
1 person likes this
@happythoughts (4109)
• United States
7 Dec 09
I learned from living in a small house that if you dont use it then its okay to get rid of it. I give as much as I can to people who will use it before I throw it away. I think I have a lot of things that I dont use as much as I should that some one else might love more then I ever could. I think its great to pass the pleasure along.
@chulce (1537)
• United States
8 Dec 09
Great point! I went from a home that was over 3,000 sq. feet to one that was just over 2,000. I have given away a ton of stuff, had huge yardsales and still feel like I have a ton of items to get rid of. I am hoping that one day, I will eventually feel someone decluttered. I know it takes time and each day, I try to work on it just a little bit.
@cutepenguin (6431)
• Canada
5 Dec 09
I don't think you should keep everything in your home forever. Otherwise you'd eventually be surrounded by stuff, it just wouldn't work.
@chulce (1537)
• United States
8 Dec 09
Sorry I had not gotten a chance to respond. I have been extremely busy and had to put mylot aside so I could get some things accomplished.
I agree it isn't good to keep a lot of stuff. I have seen a lot of people that are so over burdened with things that I can't figure out how they live in their homes. I have a great aunt that is riddled with tons of stuff. She has stacks of papers, magazines and other clutter all over home that she just refuses to get rid of. There are paths through her home so that she can sit on a chair, go to her restroom, etc.
I don't think I could ever live like that.
@cher913 (25782)
• Canada
7 Dec 09
i have often regifted in the past and will continue to do so in the future. the thing is that you can only use so much and have only so much room. if you dont like it or cannot use it, why not give it a new home and if you give to a charity, that way you are helping others too!
@chulce (1537)
• United States
8 Dec 09
Very true. I have actually suggested to family members to get gift cards for my children or for my husband and I. I have also suggested edible items, that way, the items are sitting around my home all the time. The containers can then be reused depending on what they are delivered in, etc.
@ladym33 (10979)
• United States
7 Dec 09
I don't think you were wrong, if it is just sitting there collecting dust it is a waste of space to keep it and someone else my love it so why not pass it on. I think re-gifting is OK, but it should be something the person you give it to would actually like and not just giving them the gift you don't want just to get rid of it. I think it is also wise to put a note on the gift saying who you got it from so you don't end up giving it back to the same person or giving it to someone from the same family or friend's circle so that the person who gave it to you never knows you regifted it to someone else.
@chulce (1537)
• United States
8 Dec 09
You make a great point. I actually had these little lamps that I thought were cute, but just not my style. I know the person that gave them to me meant well, but I don't think they realized just how much I already had in my tiny home.
So this year, I decided to give them to someone else that may enjoy them more. We shall see what happens.
@jambi462 (4576)
• United States
4 Dec 09
Regifting would be something that would be helpful for the wallet around the holidays but I've never really gotten any gifts that I would feel comfortable regifting to one of my friends or family. It would save money though if I could find something interesting. I wouldn't want to give them a gift that they gave me back. But I think that giving them something that I own that would remind them of me every now and then whenever they looked at it is a much better gift in the end then a lot of the stuff you can buy in the stores.
@my_name_is_coco (4333)
• Philippines
5 Dec 09
I believe that another man's trash is another person's treasure.I would rather recycle a gift to a person that I know will like it.just make sure that the giver of the gift will not find out.rather than throwing away the gift,much better to give it to someone who likes it.I just cleaned my closet last week to take out the clothes I don't use anymore.I will give some to my sister and cousins.
@zzyw87 (1254)
• Philippines
4 Dec 09
I have no problems with re-gifting. It is a really practical concept and it suits practical people like me. I have received tons of gifts I don't really like. I don't know what to do with these. I don't feel like selling these gifts I received. So I do the next best thing. I just re-gift it to someone else, especially if it really is a nice stuff. I do appreciate the sentiment behind the gift though. I just would not want nice things to just go to waste and not go used. At least I know someone will be using that thing and it would not go to waste. For me, there is no time limit. It could be re-gifted during the holiday season. Just make sure that the person who gave it to you and the person you are giving it to don't know each other at all. :)
@chulce (1537)
• United States
4 Dec 09
It is refreshing to see that everyone has such great opinions on this topic. I am so grateful to have found mylot and find people that do share similar ideas to my own. Wow! What a wonderful day! I feel so cherished in the gifts that each of you have provided me, the gift of knowledge. :)
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
4 Dec 09
Regifting is actually something that our family has done for a long time. It started with a hand crocheted scarf that was regifted the following year to another member of the family and then again and again. It sort of became a family gag gift.
Then, more recently, I regifted a set of cookware that my husband and I received as a wedding gift four years before. I figured that we didn't need it since we hadn't used it in four years and we had a very expensive set that we'd bought ourselves, so I passed it on to my brother and sister in law who would be able to put it to use since they had none of their own.
@chulce (1537)
• United States
4 Dec 09
Wow! That is wonderful and the "heirloom" scarf lives on. I can remember when I was a little girl a gift that my grandparents received and I believe it eventually went through the whole family, it was a vase. After the final regifting I think the poor vase got broken and thus does not live on anymore. :( It was quite ugly in fact.
What a great way to help your brother. I'm sure if he and his wife are just starting out, it will help them greatly! :)
