Your failure as a son is my failure as a father ,agreed?
By ronnyb
@ronnyb (6113)
Jamaica
December 3, 2009 11:58am CST
I was watching Gladiator and this what the emperor said to his son translated it means that all parents are responsible for the actions of their children.Do you agree with this statement,I must admit that this statement does have some amount of merit as many times the ant-social behavior shown in many children can be traced back to a dysfunctional home .Many times these are the children who grew up with one or no parent and they take out their lack of structure on society because they don’t feel the love that they would have felt if they had parents .However could it be that we are looking for an easy scapegoat and how far can the actions of a child be blamed on the parent. Who should we blame for the child of privileged circumstances who decides that he wants gets involved in criminality ,should we blame the parents for not exposing them to hardships.Should we make allowances for children from underprivileged circumstances since they have so much more to deal with .
What are your views ?
7 people like this
17 responses
@maygodblessu44 (7336)
• India
26 Dec 09
Hello my friend ronnyb Ji,
Well, i am with you and support it 100%.It is parents responsibility to mould children to fit in teh society. I bring out a real happening in my area many many yrs back as below ,
" At the time of execution of hanging, man was asked to reveal his last wish, he wanted to speak to his mother in her ear, whenmotehrbrought her ear near his son's moputh,man had good bite of theear so that it started bleeding andmother started crying due o pain. When Judze asked , man told She would have stopped me stealing small items initially, before turning to a big criminal, where I am being hanged"
Parenting is a great task.
Wishing you a very happy Chrismas and New Year-2010.
May God bless You and have a great time.
@sincere4frdship (2228)
• India
4 Dec 09
I don't think so ...some times there are exception also ....
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
17 Dec 09
I think a parent is responsible for a child's behavior Only if the child is 5 years old or younger. When a child gets school age they Should know right from wrong and they have their own Free will.It must be natural for god parents to blame themselves but they did the best they could! And I don't think it matters if parents are rich or poor.There are great parents who have no money and their kids don't go into crime.And there are bad parents who happen to be rich and their kids go bad. if a child , rich or poor ,get what they need growing up , Most of the time they grow up to be god people.
@stephcjh (38473)
• United States
14 Dec 09
I used to think it was the parents fault for how a child turned out because alot of parents did not provide means for the child to choose another way. I have found that it is not always the case though. Some are children just choose on their own to do bad or good.
@jenzai (388)
• Philippines
8 Dec 09
Their are two school of thoughts that has two claims with the said query. I inclined to believe that it does depend om the situation. Even if it is the fault of the father to support, monitor his children, their are factors that are beyond his control. Environment do play as one of that. I can say it is 60% parent effort and 40%environmental influences. The latter takes individual decision and wisdom, to change one's course of cation. I hope I was able to answer your query. Anyway, you've got an interesting post.
@cloudwatcher (6861)
• Australia
3 Dec 09
Hi ronnyb. You raise a good point here, but one which has many "ifs and buts".
There is little doubt that the biggest responsibility given to anyone in this world is that of being a parent. The life put into their care is shaped primarily by them, their attitudes and the example they are to the child.
Regrettably there are dysfunctional families in every level of society. Being born into "high society" or very wealthy families has advantages, but I believe has even more disadvantages. I know we cannot categorise, but there is much danger in these families, of a child not receiving the love and emotional security he needs for proper development, and his sense of values can also be distorted.
Of course, those born into poor and even poverty-stricken families can encounter similar problems and they also face different deterrents.
In either case, the child can overcome and break the cycle. I did.
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
4 Dec 09
hi ronnyb Yes we might see it that way as its our job to provide good examples to our children as we teach them how to act.If we curse and swear , and act less than honest, then all the teaching in the world by us to them for them not to swear and to be honest always will just fall on deaf ears.we are models to our kids and we should all remember that. Do not swear at a kid for swearing that is stupid. Do not bawl a child out for lying if he or she hears you tell lies. teach by example as well as by training.that is the only way to raise healthy well behaved kids. This is true not matter what your take home pay is,rich or poor children will mimic you so be good people to be mimicked.
@AndrewFreyne (6281)
• United Kingdom
4 Dec 09
I think that there may be some truth in that statement! Children need to be disciplined whilst they are going through childhood! This instills good values into them and hopefully they will stick by the principles they have been taught when venturing into adulthood! This is not always the case though as every family is different. Once a child enters adulthood though they then have only them selves to blame as they are mature enough to know the difference between right and wrong. As regards children coming from broken homes I believe that understanding should be offered to them but that's no excuse to become rebellious and cause trouble as it were. Andrew
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
4 Dec 09
I do believe that certainly the responsibility for children’s behaviours lay with the parents because, not only are we responsible to teaching and guiding our kids, but they will emulate most of what we say and we definitely lead by example and I think it is irrelevant what type of background the family comes from, rich or poor, it is always a matter of teaching children the right values and behaving accordingly ourselves.
Having said that, as adults we have to take accountability for our thoughts and actions. If we came from a dysfunctional home we can keep doing what we are doing while blaming our parents or we can take some responsibility and vow to be different.
@dinglover (52)
• China
4 Dec 09
that's the most impressive line for me when i watched Gladiator. yes, children are influenced by their parents in developing their own character. To some extent, they will copy the way you deal with life challenges, the way you treat others. therefore, after growing up, they will be much like their parents, reminding people of them. when i am with my baby daughter, i always tell myself, you are setting an example for her. for her, i want to be better.
@tipay26 (867)
• Philippines
4 Dec 09
I would like to share my view regarding the topic.Yes, it's true that if a child failed in his or her life same goes to his/ her parents as well meaning they failed too.But let me just reiterate the fact that our parents are just guiding us in our right path and that no matter what decision we make it is solely our responsibility especially if we live outside our parents house or if we have a family of our own.
@kashers (649)
• Jamaica
4 Dec 09
listen i am no parent but i was once a child still am but grown up a little,kids in their teens can think and understand u will tell them not to do this not to do that some will listen some won't,experience teaches wisdom u have spoken and have warn a kid of the danger that can occur,they will not listen so who can't behave and be humble let them learn it their way,if they survive the ordeal then thats how the child should have learnt,no parent should ever live in any regret or shame of any action done by a indiscipline child,none,their actions are their own teachings so let them learn it that way then,
@gx7001lm (63)
• Malaysia
4 Dec 09
i am who i am because of my parents. i do learn good characters from them as well as some bad characters.
parents are not the only one who influence their child's character. people like their teachers and especially their friends. Now i realize why my parents are always concert with the people i hang out with so that i would not learn their bad characters. so i think reason that the child wants to get involved in criminality is because of his friends' influence as well as the lacking of constant monitoring of his parents. these two factor go hand in hand whenever someone discuss about a child's up bring.
@Pose123 (21635)
• Canada
3 Dec 09
Hi ronnyb, It is very difficult to know where to place blame, in fact I think it is pointless to try to place blame on anyone. The father may also have come from a dysfunctional family, as might have his father and back several generations. As for children from what we would call privileged families, we really don't know how much love these children receive either. Sometimes far too much pressure is placed on them, or in extreme cases they may have been raised a nanny and barely knew their parents.Coming from a rich family doesn't necessarily mean coming from a good family. I believe that society must try to solve the problem rather then placing blame. If the son can be reformed then the pattern can be stopped and future generation will not exposed it. Blessings.
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
3 Dec 09
I do think parents are responsible for the way their children act especially when they are young. I always felt that when mine misbehaved it was a reflection on me. my youngest son showed out a little one time at a ballgame & i got on to him. He said i took things he did too personally but i felt responsible when my children acted out. I think it all begins at home when they are young to teach them right from wrong. I see parents that need to be punished instead of their kids.
@LadyMarissa (12148)
• United States
3 Dec 09
I agree that the parent should be responsible for the actions of their child!!!
Who should we blame for the child of privileged circumstances who decides that he wants gets involved in criminality,should we blame the parents for not exposing them to hardships. You don't have to give a child hardships in order to make them responsible...just teach them values!!! In this case, he's more than likely begging for the attention of his parents!!! Most children only do as they see their parents do. Some of the rich folk take their possessions for granted. So, why would their child know any different??? A Mother who never had her daughter assist in the housework will raise a daughter that does not know how to clean house!!! The Bible says that the children will pay for the sins of the parents. So, a child is only as good as the parents raised them to be!!! I'm sure there might be ab exception to this rule...but, all in all, I feel it is correct.
