Dealing with a midlife crisis.
By Pose123
@Pose123 (21635)
Canada
December 4, 2009 7:48pm CST
In our youth-oriented culture, the process of aging is not honored as it once was. There have been societies that looked to those who were older for leadership, understanding that their life experiences must have brought some wisdom with them. Our society, especially in the west, tends to put more value on looking youthful, so when the time comes that we don't look, move, or feel the way we once did, this causes a sudden jolt to our perception of ourselves. We can look at this shift as a crisis and fight against change, or we can take the opportunity to transition smoothly to a new phase of life. What are your thoughts on what has become known as the midlife crisis and how best to deal with it?
2 people like this
7 responses
@williamjisir (22819)
• China
6 Dec 09
Hello dear Pose. It is a common phenomenon that quite a certain number of people encounter midlife crisis. I think that one of the major causes to this kind of midlife crisis is related to the boring routine life and work making people lack of enough time for romantic life. It is not easy for the middle-aged to deal with their life and work as they have so much stress from work and life. I don't know about the common life of the western world, but in China it is our traditional custom for us adult children to take care of our parents. So when we reach our middle age, we have both our parents and our own children to take care of. It is really a hard age to be middle-aged. What relives me the most is my parents are enjoying their own retired life in their own apartment doing whatever they are used to doing every day. It is quite relaxing to us that my parents enjoy a fairly good health. For us adult children, our parents' good health is of the most important to us. That they live healthily and happily makes us adult children feel happy as well. To some extent, this kind of midlife crisis is greatly reduced. Thank you so much for your nice discussion and I wish you all the best, my dear friend.
1 person likes this
@williamjisir (22819)
• China
8 Dec 09
Hello Pose. It is well said that many people tend to think that they are old when they reach forty. I think that it is wrong of them to think so. It seems to be a common issue when it comes to looking for a job. In my country, there are a lot of businesses and schools and such which emphasizes the age of forty below when they want to employ candidates for the job they offer. This is part of the reason that makes each individual to think so. I wonder why they make such a restriction or block to job finders. I think that they should be part of the main reason that makes people think that they are old after forty...In fact, I love the saying that life begins at forty because we have already gained much experience through years of hard work, a good accumulation to our gained knowledge. There is no reason to think that forty is an old age though. I do respect those elderly people with their own rich and colorful experiences to be shown to the young that they don't have to work that hard to find the truth offered to them by the elder.
I appreciate your admiring our tradition taking good care of our own parents. We are taught that way to respect the old and take good care of them when we are young. Everyone experiences the stage from being young to old. To tell you the truth, I love to be friends with the old or the aged. They make me feel secure for what they have gained all through their life.
Thank you so much for the comment back to my response. Enjoy your life to the full, my dear Pose.
@Pose123 (21635)
• Canada
6 Dec 09
Hi William, I have long admired the people of your country for the way they care for their elderly parents and also the respect that is shown to them. Age does bring wisdom to most but often the young scoff at such wisdom saying that new ways are better. I am not against progress and new technology but to completely ignore the experience of a lifetime is not wise. The elderly may not know about the new ideas but they have experience in living, and that is something that the young are lacking. It is the emphasis that is placed on youth and beauty that often brings on the midlife crisis. When some people reach the age of forty for example, they feel that their youth is past and that people will start to think of them as old. Such people forget that their is a beauty that comes with age as well as wisdom but that is due to the culture that they and others have formulated over the years. Thank you my friend for responding to this discussion. Blessings.
@vijayanths (7877)
• India
5 Dec 09
I think all sets of aged people are important to the society. Babies are a big pleasure for any one. Then the youth is the best part of life and who can hate a youth?
Still old people should be respected and supported. They have the experience and knowledge that they want to share with the youngsters but unfortunately most of the youngsters don't take the advices of the old and that is really bad. If they don't take the advices, at least they should respect them.
1 person likes this
@zed_k4 (17589)
• Singapore
5 Dec 09
I know what you mean. I think at some point or another, mid-life crisis will be experienced by many people. I don't know when mine is going to come, but I hope I'll never encounter it ever. As for the youth thing, it is very much on the exterior, but deep down inside, a lot of people are still seeking that one perfect thing; peaceful and a serene life. I think it's more important than anything. And also even during tried times, the sea waves can be over-ride by patience and good attributes. Society has changed certain mindsets over the years, but I still choose to believe there are still people holding on to moral values and etc.
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
5 Dec 09
Well, you are only as old as you feel and believe. Age is nothing but a number. I now believe that youth is truly wasted on the young, because so many people spend so many years hating themselves, wishing they were thinner, prettier, in better shape, more financially stable, less busy.... but 20 years later they look back and go - man! I was thin, gorgeous, had free time, had great relationships, fun kids.... bah, look at me now, I weigh 30 lbs more, have wrinkles, no more tan, all my money is going to pay for my kids college - and the kids think I know nothing because I was born yesterday....
Anyway, I never intend to grow UP OR get old. I'm not one to 'age gracefully' because I just don't plan on aging at all. At least not visibly. I don't like change. Change pisses me off unless I WANTED it. Therefore, I don't change unless *I* want to. I'm not going to be one of those people who ends up wearing ridiculous looking clothes nor am I going to cut my hair off or let it get gray. I'll remain myself for as long as I live - or there's no reason to be living.
Part of avoiding the midlife crisis though is making peace with yourself. If you are happy with who you are and who you plan to be in the future, then you don't have much to worry about, or much change to deal with either.
1 person likes this
@blessing2u (496)
• Philippines
5 Dec 09
I think that I am near the midlife crisis that has challenged men and women to make a successful change in their perspective towards life in general. I agree with you that today's generation is more of a youth-oriented world. When a person is young, then the world will utilize his energy until he reaches an age where he can be kicked out without value. I just hope that we still learn to go to the old folks for wisdom in life. They have the experiences that will be of great help as we journey to life. Have a good day pose123.
@carline76 (56)
• Philippines
5 Dec 09
I believe everyone will pass through this stage. I have encountered this midlife crisis last April of this year. I resigned from work and rest for months to rediscover myself. I have lots of thoughts about midlife crisis that I wrote a blog on this topic at http://hubpages.com/profile/cbguillermo. I hope you'll have time to read it.
